All The Makings Of An Apocalypse
by The-Fabulous-Person
Summary: Mo-toonverse. Part two of my BJxLyds story: With the Neitherworld being thrown into chaos by seven mysterious forces, the Ghost with the Most out of commision, and a confused Goth discovering powers she never knew she had, what will become of both worlds?
1. Another Point Of View

**So this isn't the actual beginning of the story.**

**I'd written two endings for our lovers' last adventure: The Lydia Perspective, and the Betelgeuse Perspective.**

**This is the Betelgeuse one. It's pretty much the end scene from him getting sucked into the circle, to Lydia's last words to him. I wasn't going to post this at first, but I thought I would to bridge the gap between the last story and my slow comings-up with the next one.**

* * *

Betelgeuse remembered a lot of things. He'd forgotten even more. Like… he remembered meeting Juno, but he couldn't exactly recall his death, or the life leading up to that death. The details were fuzzy… He couldn't remember his breather name, only the name Juno had assigned him in order to keep tabs on his powers.

He could remember one con, where he'd forgotten another.

Such was the price of being dead, he supposed.

He did remember pain. All sorts of pain. Pain when he was still alive, pain after his death, and all pains in between. One pain that he would never forget or get over was the pain of being exorcised.

It had happened three times before in his afterlife. The first, he'd been so confused… it was just after his death, before he'd met Juno and had the restrictions put in place over his powers: he'd somehow managed to break out of the waiting room and fled to France, where he'd holed up in a tiny cathedral. Possessing that young man had been an accident.

As he screamed and thrashed and begged, he'd suddenly been yanked from the body and dropped into a dusty old chair in a smoky office.

"You dummy! What the hell is wrong with you?" Were Juno's first words to him.

He would always remember them.

The second and third times had each been spaced almost exactly a century after one another in the first half of his afterlife, when he'd gained an upper hand on his well-restricted (but still immensely potent) powers, and had grown much more reckless. Still, he'd managed to escape on his own. The details of how those exorcisms came about were fuzzy…

But this pain, this exorcism was the worst pain imaginable. Nothing compared, not even if you lumped all the suffering in his lives together.

And for the first time since he could remember, possibly since that first exorcism, he was afraid.

No, scratch that. For the first time since he could remember, he'd been afraid for himself. The poltergeist knew how to take care of himself just fine, thank you very much. The only other times he'd been afraid that he could really remember were recent, because of that doe-eyed little witch and her hot little trouble-attracting ass.

He'd refused to admit it though, because he'd gotten her back each time. He'd been there to protect her.

Now, he was afraid for himself. He was afraid for Juno. Hell, he even felt a flicker of fear for the prince. And, above all else, was this mind-crushing, nauseating fear for Lydia, because he wouldn't be able to protect her. He was going to die. These bastards were going to kill him, and then Juno and the prince. And that slime ball would rape his Babes and probably kill her too when he tired of her.

Betelgeuse didn't want to be having these thoughts. But when you are dying the Death of the Dead…

What else do you think about?

He tried to see that perfect, creamy body. Those wide, innocent, dark-chocolate eyes. Those perfect ruby lips… That gorgeous melody of a voice…

Something crashed into Betelgeuse, snapping him from the mental vortex of pain and fear. That was when he heard her voice.

And excuse him if a tear or two escaped him: his Babes was here, she was still fine, for now. The tears were in horror though, because now she was in the circle with him, and she was going to die with him. "B… Babes…"

Their eyes locked for just a fraction of a second until she tore her eyes away and began to push him. Betel had never imagined the sounds he heard, hell _felt _ripping from his throat would ever have come from him. The spell dug its claws into his very essence, trying to pull him back in…

And then everything was dark.

The pain was gone, replaced by a vague, not altogether unpleasant buzz as he floated off into nothingness. _Shit… damn hell shit fuck fuck FUCK me I'm dead. They've exorcised me, stolen my juice, and are probably working on the others now… Way'da go Beej, ya dumbfuck. _Even as he thought these things though, he began to regain his senses.

He could hear someone yelling at him, calling his name over and over again. His body tried to respond to the Name Curse, but all he could do was arch his back and fail.

And wish that he was with his Babes. Hell… even discussing the weather with her.

"Beej… Beej, please wake up?"

_Ahh… that voice… Lyds… Babes…_ He wondered if he was grinning. He sure wanted to: he wanted to let her know that he could hear her voice.

"Betel you lazy bastard, get your ass up!"

_Juno… you're safe too? I must be one lucky son of a bitch… _He tried grinning again.

"Betel, I can see you smiling!"

"Beej? Beej, open your eyes, please?"

Betel took a deep, shaky, and unneeded breath, forcing his eyes open. That was when all the pain came crashing back down on him: he felt as though he was being burned, electrocuted, stabbed, beaten and drowned all at once for all the pain and disorientation that coursed through him."Sh-shit… liked… liked being unconscious better…"

The vision of his dear wifey poo swam in the center of his vision, leaning right over him as though she was ready for another wild tongue-fest. Something entered his peripheral vision, and he felt a cold hand on his cheek. "I like you better unconscious too." She teased.

Betel chuckled weakly, lifting his gaze to the ceiling behind her. There was something very important he needed to know. "Juno?" He croaked.

He felt the old woman shift beside him, and felt something grip his arm. "What is it Betel?"

"Everyone okay?"

He felt the pressure on his arm increase. "Yeah. Everyone 'cept you."

"They get away?"

She knew exactly what he meant. "…Yeah. But don't worry about it Geuse. We'll get them."

Betel sighed, letting his eyes slide closed. He tried to open his mouth to reply, but before he could get much momentum to his lips, he felt soft, warm ones brushing against them. "Everything's going to be okay Beej. Just sleep."

Well… now he couldn't exactly disobey a direct order, right? 'Specially not from his Babes. So he just sighed again, and let unconsciousness consume him.

* * *

**So there it is.**


	2. Tobias and Nathoniel

**Two years ago, a group of students were manipulated into a prank that killed off another group of students and set the plans of an evil ghostly organization in motion. Not long after the fire, Lydia Deetz entered the sorority that had taken over the dead students' house. Twenty-two days ago, the dead students who had become vengeance-hungry ghouls contacted a certain poltergeist: Betelgeuse.**

**At first, the pair could only fight: neither wanted to cooperate. But when Lydia was nearly raped and murdered by a fellow student, Betelgeuse came to her rescue, and sent their relationship into a more peaceful co-existence. As they investigated the murders of the students, and the disappearance of Juno and Prince Vince, they uncovered a much deeper, more sinister plot and realized the ghouls were just pawns in a complicated game being played by seven entities that called themselves the Gods of Chaos.**

**As the pair investigated, Lydia grew closer to a mysterious new student, Nick. Until she learned that Nick was working for the very entities that were trying to kill her and her ghostly hubby.**

**When Lydia was given a vision by Juno, she realized where Juno and the prince were being held: in the same cemetery that Alexis, Nick's older sister, was haunting. They headed to the crypt, and were met by the 'gods'.**

**Betel was nearly drained and exorcised, but Lydia managed to escape her own shackles and shove him from the spell. Using the Ouija board the ghouls had attached to her through, she reversed the spell, sending it back at the 'gods'. In the final seconds before the board exploded, Nick took Lydia's place, sacrificing himself to save her and the others.**

**The ghouls moved on, Alexis and Nick decided to stay behind to help investigate the gods. Lydia managed to stop Betelgeuse from turning to dust by calling his name until he finally regained consciousness.**

**Now, Betelgeuse is struggling to heal and to reclaim his powers. Lydia is suffering from depression over the death of Nick and her inability to help Betelgeuse as she tries to uncover these 'powers' everyone keeps talking about. The 'gods' are causing chaos all over the Neitherworld.**

**How long can Lydia keep her two lives separate? What will happen now that it seems a war between the 'gods' and the citizens of the Neitherworld is fast approaching? What will become of both worlds?**

**I own nothin', nothin' at all. Well… except Nick. And Alexis. And the Seven Gods of Chaos. And the other characters I make up. That handsome, lovable devil Betelgeuse and his Babes and all the other characters from the movie and cartoon belong to Tim Burton.**

* * *

It was raining.

A fitting mood, Nathon supposed. What was left of the little village had cried more than enough to fill the skies above.

It wasn't enough that the Black Death had wiped out more than half of their community. No.

They had to have a witch hiding among them.

The gaolhouse reeked of decay and human waste, as it always did when the officer descended into its depths. So many lives had been claimed by the Black Death their prisoners were dying before they even set foot towards the gallows.

One man, the man Nathon wanted to die a slow, painful death more than anyone he'd ever hung, survived.

Survived to ruin what was left of the town.

Dark storm clouds brewed behind Nathon's eyes as he halted in front of the only occupied cell.

"Tobias Samuel."

One shocking blue eye slowly blinked open, and Nathon had to repress a shudder. So much evil lay behind those wild irises, he could almost feel it radiating towards him. The haggard prisoner's lips slowly rose into a feral grin, revealing a set of jagged, chipped yellow teeth. "Ah, Nathon DePaul. Time already?"

"You knew?"

The prisoner cackled, unfolding his creaky joints so he could push himself off the filthy floor. "Of course, damned mutt. Isn't that why you've locked me in this cesspool?"

Nathon hissed in irritation. "Well then, witch. Come along." A pair of shackles dropped from their place in Nathon's hand to swing by his side as he held the chain. "The noose awaits."

* * *

Tobias stood as straight as he could with his crooked back, grinning proudly down at the meager assembly that had come to witness his death.

Stupid fools. They were so easy…

Nathon entered his view, his eyes darkened by hatred. "Tobias Samuel: you have been accused of using the dark arts of witchcraft on innocents to harm and to murder, rape, thievery, and arson. Do you accept these charges?"

Tobias' grin widened until each one of his snaggled yellow teeth were leering up at the officer. "I'm guilty your highness! Absolutely guilty on all charges! I accept these accusations with an unsound mind and soul. String me up good sir." Tobias leaned closer as the executioner stepped forward to lower the noose around the insane old man's head. "But know this, master Nathoniel: My death will bring about a monster the likes of which this world has never seen. And that monster shall be brought into this life by your own hands."

Nathon glared down at the stooped man, trying to ignore the power he'd felt behind the words. "Do you repent?"

Tobias chuckled madly, before he opened his mouth and made a sick gargling sound. Nathon tried to step away but before he could, a thick glob of putrid mucus hit him square in the face.

Nathon roared, leaping forward to pummel every inch of the criminal he could reach. It took the executioner and three other lawmen to pry him away from Tobias. Nathon snarled as the lunatic stood there, swaying as he cackled through a broken nose and bloodied eye. Nathon composed himself, snatching the sack from the executioner and dragging it over the matted blond head. "May god not have mercy on your soul. May you rot in the deepest pits of hell, you vile scum."

This time the feral cackle was muffled by the thick brown cloth. "See you there Nat, my friend."

The executioner pulled the lever, releasing the trapdoor.

* * *

As the man in his dream made the short drop, Betelgeuse finally stirred beneath the lid of the coffin. His form was ragged, only half-formed. Bits and pieces kept reforming and turning back to dust as he lay there, flexing and unflexing his half-formed fingers. Chunks of his body turned to swirling black clouds as he fought to keep shape.

Dull green eyes flickered open to stare blankly up at the coffin lid.

Such a weird dream.

Both men had looked so familiar…

"-think we should check on him?"

"No. 'E will open ze lid when 'e wakes. Juno said to keep it closed until she says ozzherwize."

Betel sighed, lifting his left hand to examine it with his blurred vision. So far he'd managed to reform his thumb, forefinger, and ringfinger.

The poltergeist suddenly hissed in pain as his thumb dissolved into dust. He threw his head back against the pillow, glaring at the lid.

"-wonder if Juno's managed to convince the Judge…"

"I sure 'ope so."

"How's Lydia?"

"Not so very well I am thinking. She looked ill when she called…"

Lyds was ill? Since when? How long had he been out?!

Betel lifted a hand against the lid, pushing against it with all his might. His entire arm suddenly turned to dust and crumbled away. The ghost bit his tongue as a howl threatened to rip from him.

_Babes…_

* * *

**Another short and prequel-esque chapter, but you know how I love plot-foundation chapters.**

**Kawaii-wasabi: **Hopefully I'll have the other chapters filled out soon.

**LoliPear:** You are welcome. I can't wait either *panicked sweat drop*

**Z_lorea: ***full of embarrassment* That was supposed to say he couldn't disobey, thanks for catching that. Boy that's a little embarrassing… Fixed now though.

**Prats 'R' Us: **I'm glad I could make you shriek, and I'll see what I can do.


	3. A Little Depressed

**So, for a while, things are going to seem a little rushed. But it's only because uneventful time is passing while the team recovers.**

**Just a warning.**

**OH! And I thought I should tell you that I finally watched Zombieland. According to my cinephelic ways, I must now tell you what I think about it: Holy. Flying. Burning. Piles. Of Crap.**

**So the movie starts out really... overly grotesque, though that is all that can be expected from an R-Rated zombie apocolypse comedy spoof. But... I have to tell you: It was probably one of the greatest movies I've like... ever seen. Once you get past the stupid, sensless gore in the opening credits, the plot of the nerdy college paranoid-shut-in stuck in a post-apocolyptic world travelling with a has-nothing-to-loose, gun-toting, twinkie-obsessed loony and two young con women really just had me going squee! in delight. I totally recommend this movie for anyone who uh... can stand a bit of overly-dramatic gore and sometimes cheesey comedy.**

**Anyway, on to the story.**

* * *

One bone-deep gash on her forehead. A busted nose. A lip busted clean open on her lower front teeth. A shattered elbow and a radius snapped clean in half in her left arm. One cracked knuckle and two dislocated fingers on her right hand. Both arms were covered in thick, mottled burns. Five broken ribs. Bone-deep bruises on her pelvis. And a severely sprained right ankle. Her body was covered in cuts and bruises, blood and soot.

Adding that to the three slowly fading stab wounds in her side, the old and fresh claw wounds on her chest, and the scratches on her face from her nightmares, and she was very, _very _grateful she had magical dead people for friends.

If she didn't have Juno, and even Prince Vince on her side, Lydia may just have crumbled under the aftermath.

The groundskeeper had heard the explosion, and summoned the police. They'd burst in through the archway to find an unconscious Lydia clinging to a dead Nick.

According to the spells and illusions Juno and the Prince cast the story was this:

Lydia and Nick had been taking a walk on their way back to Lydia's apartment, where they planned to have dinner. As they neared the bus stop, a group of students reeking of alcohol and pot jumped them. They were beaten unconscious, and dragged to the cemetery. In the crypt, they were beaten and burned. The explosion the groundskeeper had heard was a gun backfiring after one of the students shot Nick.

Lydia was transported to the hospital under heavy sedation to block the pain.

The old stab wounds had been covered with a fresh illusion. No need to add those to the list of things to explain.

Charles and Delia arrived just as the sun rose over the horizon.

Lydia blinked slowly as Delia's voice reached her from down the hall. As always when her step mother was upset, her voice would become wild and high-pitched.

Lydia never thought she would love that sound as much as she did at that moment.

About a second later, a hassled nurse trailed in behind Lydia's panicked parents. Charles crossed the floor in two strides, gathering his daughter into his arms as Delia flashed to her other side, wringing her hands as Lydia squeaked under her father's crushing hug. "Oh Charles, let her breath." Delia whacked her husband's elbow with her purse, pulling Lydia from his arms. Once the Goth was free though, Delia's arms closed around her.

It took about fifteen minutes of fussing and worried chatters and talking over Lydia as she tried to reassure them before both parents had calmed and were seated in chairs on either side of the bed.

"Adam and Barbara send their love and prayers." Charles told her as he leaned forward to brush a lock of hair off her gauze-wrapped forehead.

Delia smoothed out the sheet covering her step daughter, a nervous fidgety gesture. "They went… _out of town_ to talk to Juno about being able to come visit you while you're here."

Lydia's eyes widened with shock. "Juno?"

"Mmmhmm." Charles clearly misunderstood her worried expression. "But don't worry pumpkin: I'm sure Juno will get to them soon enough and she'll get them over her to see you. Juno likes you."

Lydia grimaced. She knew Juno would send them over, if only to keep them out of her hair while she sorted out Betelgeuse and those seven monsters. She just hoped no one would give the truth of the situation away.

Not yet at least.

Thankfully, her nurse chose that moment to reappear, a syringe-full of painkillers for Lydia's IV. "Sorry folks, it's time for her medicine."

Lydia shifted in her bed reaching out with her braced right hand to touch her father's arm. "You'll still be here when I wake up?"

Charles smiled, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "'Course pumpkin."

Lydia turned her head to Delia. "You too Delia?"

The red-head smiled and nodded. "Of course sweetie."

* * *

The next few weeks passed by in a drug-hazed blur. Charles and Delia stuck with her through it all. They surprised her, Delia especially, when she woke up after their arrival and found a hide-away bed had been rolled in. The couch hiding it was rather ugly, and Lydia was quite positive Delia was bursting with hatred for the thing, but her step mother held her tongue and concentrated only on Lydia.

She was glad too: she needed a familiar insanity to block out the irritation with the new insanity.

How many times did she have to recite the story for the cops? How many times did she have to talk to lawyers? How many times did she have to tell the nurses that no, she did not want to talk to the fucking reporters today, just like I didn't want to talk to them yesterday and like I won't want to talk to them tomorrow?! And no thanks daddy, I really don't want to talk to a counselor. I don't want to think about him right now.

She didn't want to think about anything right now. Because every time she started to think, her mind drifted towards the crypt, and a nurse had to be called in with a fresh dose to calm the suddenly hysterical Goth.

Nick was dead. He was gone. Dead dead dead. Betelgeuse was probably dying. Turning to dust.

Lydia sniffled as these thoughts entered her mind again, and she turned her head in towards her pillow.

_Why _hadn't _someone_ come to update her on things?! Surely they knew she would expect it?! Nick and Alexis had told her they weren't moving on: they were staying behind to help Juno with the investigation. Couldn't they have come?

"Hey Lydia?"

Lydia's eyes shot open as a very familiar, very unexpected voice drifted towards her. "Karren?"

The blonde smiled nervously at her ex-housemate as she slipped into the room, a massive bouquet of flowers and balloons cradled in her arms. "These are from Amy, Thalia and Erin as well as me."

Lydia smiled, shifting slightly on her bed to give Karren some room. Karren smiled, setting the flowers on the bedside table before she sat next to Lydia. "Thanks Karren."

"Hmm." Karren grimaced, biting her lip as her eyes roamed over the gauze-covered woman. "Hon… you look horrible."

Both girls laughed, until Lydia suddenly slapped a hand against her side with a whimper. "Oooh… don't make me laugh, it hurts…"

"Sorry. Where are your parents?"

Lydia shifted into a more up-right position against her pillows to try and ease some of the pain in her chest. "Take-out. The food here is absolutely vile. So… so how's things?"

Karren shrugged. "The students who were involved two years ago are under house arrest. The school is being shut down by the end of next term."

Lydia grimaced, horrible guilt crushing her. "I'm sorry…"

Karren shrugged. "Don't be. Peaceful Pines really isn't worth all that tuition anyways. Everyone who wasn't directly involved in the fire is getting out unscathed. And since I came in with you, I guess I'm pretty much in the clear."

Lydia smiled, and Karren couldn't help but return it.

Lydia was glad that at least one person didn't hate her: that she'd managed to keep at least one friend even though she'd never really counted Karren as such.

The pair talked for a long time though, thoroughly enjoying the conversation. They talked about almost everything but the fire and Nick.

Around six though, about a half hour after Karren's arrival, the Deetz returned bearing huge bags of Cantonese. After the initial shock wore off, they invited Karren to stay and picnic with them, but she told them she had to get going before it got too dark, and left with one last peck on Lydia's cheek.

Lydia sighed, melting into the pillow as Charles scooped her up a plate. "Who was that pumpkin?"

"Karren. She was one of my housemates, and it seems she doesn't hate me like everyone else does. Gods that smells good. How far did you have to go to find a good take-out place?"

Delia chuckled, pulling a covered Styrofoam cup of (bless her) real roasted coffee with real creamer and handed it to Lydia. "Not too far. Feeling better?"

Lydia nodded, gulping down the glorious black liquid. "Still hurts like a mother though. Oh my god… are those egg rolls I smell?"

* * *

Five weeks after the scene in the crypt, Lydia was well on her way to the mend, so Charles and Delia decided it was time to take her home.

There'd been no word from Barbara and Adam, and Lydia was unsure of how to take this. Maybe Juno had been too busy to see them… or maybe she'd denied them for some reason…

Well whatever the reason, she would be seeing them tonight. Most of her injuries were in the final steps of recovery, and she was just horrendously sore. The only real problem left was the thick burns covering her forearms. Even gentle changes in air currents had her cringing in pain when they were left unwrapped. And of course, the shattered elbow.

On top of everything, finding out that her elbow might not ever fully recover just about had Lydia screaming in frustration.

"You're still very young though, so it's hard to say. Every case is different. Worst comes to worst, you just won't be able to straighten your arm all the way out."

Ho boy.

So, still in a sling, her arms wrapped in gauze and hidden by elbow-length fingerless gloves, she leaned against Charles as he helped her up into the house.

Adam and Barbara were at her side in an instant, pulling her away from Charles to squish her with frantic bear hugs as they apologized over and over again for being unable to come see her in the hospital.

"And Miss Argentina told us Juno had been out for weeks, taking care of a particularly troublesome client-" Lydia resisted the urge to laugh and cry at the same time as memories of the 'adventure' played out in her mind. "And Juno'd given her specific instructions to refer all of her cases to one of her partners."

Lydia grimaced, patting her godfather on the back as he finally released her only to be replaced by Barbara's arms as she took one side and Charles the other so they could help her up the stairs. "Don't worry: It would have been hard to do more than see you. I wouldn't have been able to talk to you because of all the nosy morons that kept barging in."

When Lydia was situated in her bed in the room that hadn't changed once in five years that she'd lived there, her family kissed and hugged her one last time before leaving to let her sleep off her painkillers.

Lydia was hardly interested in sleeping though.

She hauled herself out of bed, hissing in pain as she made her way to the vanity. Lydia glared at her reflection in the glass as she tapped her fist against the frame. "Jacques!" She hissed. "Ginger! Juno? Anyone? Heeeeeelloooo?!"

The glass remained blank, mocking her with its peaceful emptiness.

Damn that glass. What was the use of having 'powers' and 'sympathy for the dead' if you couldn't use them?!

_"I wonder if you even realize the extent of your powers my dear…" _That's what that slimy bastard had told her.

Lydia shuddered as the memory crept back to the front of her mind.

Well damn her if she wasn't going to use that slip of the tongue.

She shoved the images from her mind and concentrated on the mirror. _The only problem_… She thought _is that I have no idea WHAT these 'power' can do…_ _Maybe I should start with something… cliché…_

Lydia closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. She took the very first face that popped into her mind, and focused, screwing up her face as she put every ounce of energy into concentrating on that image.

"Wha… Mizz Lydia?"

Lydia's eyes flashed open and found herself face-to-face with a talking French skeleton. "Jacques! I can't believe that worked…" Jacques expression remained confused, so Lydia shook her head. "Never mind, tell you later. I don't have a whole lot of time, but I need to know: what's going on over there?"

The skeleton grimaced sympathetically. "We did not know 'ow to contact you. Juno 'as been so busy appealing to ze courts zat we 'ave not been able to ask 'er."

"Why is she appealing to the courts?"

A tiny groan escaped Jacques as he scratched the vertebrae on his neck. "Well… Lydia… Be-a-tal-juice iz not doing so very well. 'E… 'E cannot 'old 'is shape togezher, and 'as not woken up. Juno iz looking to release ze restrictions on a small part of 'is power so 'e 'as more to work with."

"He can't… reform?" Lydia's face and shoulders slumped at this news. She suddenly felt paranoid and vulnerable, and made a quick sweep of the room to assure herself that she was alone. The Goth shuddered as she turned back to Jacques. "What about… about those 'gods'?"

Jacques shrugged. "No one knows. Zey disappeared off ze radar. No one knows 'oo zey are, where zey come from… Ze Powers Zat be even sent zheir troops to ze crypt to try and track one of zem. Nothing."

Lydia's eyes dropped to her lap as hopeless defeat crashed down around her. The bad guys had escaped… Betelgeuse might not make it… "Thanks Jacques. See you soon."

"Do not worry Lydia, Ginger and I are watching 'im 'round ze clock. Feel better cheri." The skeleton disappeared from her mirror, leaving one seriously depressed Goth staring blankly at her ragged reflection.

* * *

"How did they even _get _the address?" Barbara sighed.

Lydia grimaced, dropping the curtain back into place as the last news van pulled away. "I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that want to give me some hassle." She cringed, adjusting her sling into a more comfortable position. "At least Nick's family managed to get back to Vermont without these vultures getting to them… They don't need this too…" Lydia rubbed her ruined arm, staring blankly at the floor as Adam moved to wrap a comforting arm around her.

"Come on sweetie. I want to show you the work I've been doing on my new model."

Lydia smiled, snuggling into her godfather's side as they headed down the stairs.

Weeks ago, Lydia would have given anything, _anything _to be comforted by him like this, when she was wrapped in the poltergeist's arms..

Now, she was seized by an almost painful desire to replace Adam's warm, plaid arm with Betel's possessive striped one.

As she had for nearly five years, she concentrated on blocking him out. This time around though, she was doing it to keep from becoming hysterical.

So she oohh'd and wow'd as Adam showed her his new model: the inside of the Waiting Room. There was even a perfect mini Juno with a cotton-fluff halo of 'smoke'. "Wow Adam, this is… this is fantastic! It's beautiful! You know… in that creepy, supernatural way."

Adam smiled, bracing his hands on his hips as he looked proudly over his work. "Thanks. I had to find something new to model since I finished the town… Next thing you know I'm going to have to start stealing Delia's sketches to keep myself entertained." Adam shuddered at the very thought, making Lydia burst into a painful fit of giggles.

"Ooooh, don't make me laugh!"

"Sorry."

"What's all this about stealing Delia's 'sketches'?" Charles appeared at Lydia's shoulder, the phone clutched in his hand. "Lydia, you don't want to talk to the reporters, do you?"

The sound that escaped Lydia could only be described as a screech that would make even a banshee nod her head in approval. The Goth threw her good arm into the air before bringing it down to grab a fistful of frazzled hair. "If that's _another _reporter you can tell them they can take their microphones and-" She realized at that moment that Charles was holding the phone close to her as she screamed, and stuttered to a halt as he took the phone back, grinning.

"Hear that? _Now _will you kindly leave my daughter alone?" Charles clicked the phone off, grinning as Lydia and Adam stared at him with identical shocked expressions. "I thought maybe if they heard her themselves, they might stop calling. At least for a while. Pizza anyone?"

* * *

After dinner, Lydia escaped back up to her room, ready to collapse into her nest of comforters and pillows and sleep off the after-dinner cocktail of painkillers.

But of course, the Supernatural just had to have other plans for her.

"About time you came back: I've been waiting for hours."

Lydia jumped, snatching her phone off the receiver as she spun towards the intruder. Confused, she stared at the silhouette for a moment before she recognized the halo of smoke. The phone was thrown onto the mattress as Lydia threw herself across the room into the caseworker's arms. "Juno!"

"Shh! Quiet kid! I doubt your parents and the Maitlands will agree to this. Hell… Normally I wouldn't even consider this, but things are getting a little ridiculous."

"What are you talking about?!"

Juno sighed, holding her out to arm's length. "The appeal. We're fighting Judge Mental and the high court to lift the restrictions on Betel's powers."

"Jacques told me. I still don't understand how that will help him…"

Juno sighed, staring at the ceiling for a moment. "…Their asleep." Juno sighed again. "Alright: Those… 'gods' as they called themselves: whatever they did to Betel started to drain all of his powers. If you hadn't pushed him out, and had that Ouija Board, he would have turned to dust. We think that when Nick held onto it, the power that he'd received from Betel was absorbed into the board, and sucked the rest of Betel's power from the others. When it was destroyed, all the powers trapped in that board returned to their original places. But… that spell damaged his core essence. The ritual tore his soul to shreds, and now it's impossible for him to accept that power back and start to reform. If we unlock more of his power, he might be able to repair the damage to his soul, and then reclaim that energy that was stolen."

"And so…"

Juno grimaced. "So I think… if I bring you to the courts… you might help to sway their decision in our favor."

Lydia hesitated for a moment, turning her head to stare thoughtfully at the door. "I want to help."

"Remember the chant?"

Lydia nodded, and repeated the words Juno'd written her weeks ago.

Once her room had finished the transformation, and she was clad in her Neitherworldian duds, Juno zapped them to the courthouse.

* * *

**In all actuality, I like this chapter, but I felt a little… awkward reviewing it. **

**Maybe I just wasn't satisfied with the actual turnout.**

**Bah! Anyway, off to my replies:**

**RaversAnthem:** I don't know what you think it is, but you and I share our eagerness: I can't wait to write more concerning that. :D It shall be oodles of fun.

**LoliPear:** I am doing well, thanks, and am glad to hear you are as well. Glad you're still on board! . Also very glad you find promise in my technique/skill. Gives me confidence to write you more awesometacity. Lydia's back too!

**Z_lorea:** Poor BJ indeed, but I never write anything without a purpose ;). Glad you liked the flashback but uh… ;) I can't really give anything away, because then you would know, and might lose interest in the story.

**Life4DemiMeg:** Squeeeeee! Thank you! Glad I could fulfill everyone's expectations, was a little worried at first. Ah, the smexing. Yes… well… *cough* I am working on fitting that in but… well… we just have to see how things roll.

**Prats 'R' Us:** Thanks! Glad you enjoyed!

**SeductressofDarkness:** Thank you! I'm glad you are enjoying yourself, and appreciative of your confidence! Ahhhh… *snaps metaphorical rubber glove* I haff much planned for our favorite couple…

**rubydesires:** Glad you enjoyed. Don't cry!


	4. The Mental And The Royal

**DAMN these short chapters! Sorry, but this one had to be cut off here.**

**Ah well, let's see everyone rush off to Beej's rescue.**

* * *

Lydia grimaced up at the massive stone monument to bureaucracy.

"Nervous?"

"Nauseatingly so. Do you honestly think I may be able to help?"

"No. We're runnin' on blind hope now kiddo."

"Better than nothing I suppose. Let's do this."

Juno wrapped a hand around Lydia's uninjured elbow, supporting her up the stairs. Much like her first visit to the Neitherworld, the colorful creatures stared at her unashamedly. She ignored it better this time, focused solely on the task ahead.

Lydia felt oddly detached from herself as Juno led her inside, down the halls and into a huge courtroom. "What do I have to do?"

Juno paused, one hand gripping the doorknob, the other reaching out to grasp Lydia's good shoulder. "Hopefully nothing. If it comes to actually having you say something… I know you'll know what to do. Whatever you think will sway them in our favor, do it. Ready?"

"No. Let's go."

Juno pushed open the door, steering Lydia through as other citizens and jury members poured in from the other two doors space around the room. The walls were covered in shadows, and the ceiling was impossibly high. The judge's stand was forty feet in the air, towering over the jury and court reporter, and was being manned by a gaunt, long-faced zombie wielding a bone as a gavel. "Juno." The creature drawled. "You're late."

"Apologies, your honor." The caseworker replied, a sickly false smile on her lips. "I had a… related case to see to before I arrived." Juno led Lydia to the row of seats behind the defendant's table before walking back around to take her place.

Judge Mental watched this with some interest, but quickly lost it and turned his attentions instead to executioner/bailiff as he called the court to order. "Orduh in the court! The Neitherworld vuhses Betelgeuse, the hounaruhble Judge Mental pruhsidin'."

Judge Mental pounded the gavel against the skullblock, glaring down at Juno. "If it's Betelgeuse then he's guilty. Next case."

Juno cleared her throat and stood, smoothing down the front of her suit. "Pardon, your honorableness: but we aren't here to discuss the conman's misdeeds." She leaned forward and braced her palms against the tabletop. "We're here to discuss the release of the restrictions on his power, in order to give him a better chance at recovery."

The entire courtroom began to roar with wild, disbelieving laughter. Juno turned, fixing Lydia with a hopeless grimace as the laughter died down. Judge Mental banged his gavel, calling the court to order. "You can't be serious, Madam Juno. Release the restrictions on that monster's powers? Have you gone mad?"

"No your Judgeness, my mind is quite sound. He _needs _the restrictions lifted in order to heal himself though. He can't even hold shape after what happened!"

The judge sighed and snapped his fingers. A huge binder appeared in a puff of smoke and crashed to the podium, flipping open to the end section. "Ah yes, the incident with these unknown hostiles. Heard he was exorcised."

"No. He's still undead, and in a considerable amount of pain."

"You aren't helping your case. Why should I allow this monster more power, just so he'll heal? Who would even _want_ that vermin healed?" The judge sneered.

Lydia cleared her throat, standing from her seat and fixing the judge with the most determined expression she could muster. "I would, your honor." A collective gasp fanned across the room as every creature turned to stare at the pale breather in shock. Lydia grimaced, letting her eyes wander for a moment before pulling them back to the judge. "I want Betelgeuse healed."

The judge stared at her with gape-mouthed shock. "And _why _would you want that slimy bastard healed?" The judge paused, frowning as he looked Lydia up and down. "Who the hell are you anyway, breather?"

Lydia felt a surge of rage fill her at the man's words. She shook back her hair and planted her good hand on her hip, glaring up at him. "I'm _Mrs. _Slimy Bastard, that's why."

This time, only the aura of shock bounced around the room. The citizens of the Ghost Realm could not do much more then stare open-mouthed at the strange breather, and try to re-process her words. Finally, Judge Mental shook himself out of the trance enough to reply. "You _married _the fiend?! But… you're just a breather! And a _child _at that!"

Lydia's lips peeled back in a snarl. "I am not a child, your honor. I'm legally an adult. And I may be just a breather, but I'm the breather that got Betelgeuse out of your hair for five years and helped to uncover a plot to destroy your world."

The judge's eyes narrowed dangerously down at the Goth. "Noted. But… wait-" his expression suddenly morphed to confusion, and he dropped his eyes to the binder before him, flipping back three or four sections to run his finger down the page. His eyes sockets suddenly went as wide as he looked back at Lydia. "You're Lydia Deetz."

"Thanks for that confirmation."

"He forced you into marriage when you were just fourteen."

"Again, you tell me things I already know. What's your point?"

The judge blinked, thrown by the comment. "Yet you still want him healed."

"You are correct sir."

Mental shook his head. "He must have brainwashed you. Wouldn't you want out of this forced arrangement? Wouldn't you want to be free of him?"

Lydia's face suddenly fell, her head and the fist on her hip following. She stared sadly at her feet as everyone watched with bated breath. "A month ago… if you had asked me that, I would have answered 'yes' without hesitation." Juno grimaced from her seat, clenching her fists on top of the table. When Lydia lifted her head though, her expression was once more a look of fierce determination. "Now… Now I must tell you 'no'. No, I do not wish to be free of him. He disgusting, he's crude, sometimes it seems he can be pure evil and it's his afterlife's ambition to drive me to insanity." Her expression softened. "He's also my best friend. He's saved my life twice. He saved my godparents from an exorcism. He helped me to expose the murders of the ghouls haunting my sorority, and to expose these so-called 'gods'." Lydia shrugged. "And he knows how to make me laugh. Make me smile again when the world just seems darker than the pits of hell."

The courtroom was silent, watching the Goth stare calmly up at the judge. He rapped his bony fingers against the edge of the podium, resting his chin on the upturned palm of his other hand. "Touching words dear. Why should I let the vermin have his powers back though?"

Lydia grimaced. "Because, _your honor_: he needs them. And I need him. And it's the right thing to do." Her expression turned pleading, and she leaned forward with her good hand fisted over her chest. "Please sir, don't let him die."

Mental shifted in his seat, tearing his eyes away from the pleading woman.

Why would anyone beg for that vile bastard's life? The girl had to be brainwashed… there was no other way to explain this. No other way to explain this weird… devotion. But…

No! He couldn't _really _be thinking of helping _Betelgeuse_! Bah, the little brat was clearly brainwashed… there was no other explaination for it.

And Mental _really _wanted to be the one to finally send Betel to the Lost Souls Room…

Someone cleared their throat, and the court turned to watch a tall, gaunt man stand and brush off his robes. "If I may, your honor?"

The judge's eyes widened. "Of course, Prince Vince."

Lydia bit her lip, watching the prince as he made the short trip up the aisle. To hers and Juno's great surprise, he halted by Lydia, and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Your honor, I despise the poltergeist as much as the next Neitherworldian." Lydia cringed. "But this isn't about liking or hating the man: this is about these so-called 'gods' that are threatening my kingdom." Vince inhaled slowly, flexing his hand on Lydia's shoulder. "We need power on our side, and loathe as I am to say it aloud… Geuse is the most powerful amongst us. And…" Vince turned his attention to Lydia, smiling lightly down at her. "It's possible I owe young Lydia here my Afterlife." He stared back up at the judge. "As prince, and therefore an overriding vote in the council: I am in favor of- temporarily, of course- releasing a small portion of Geuse's powers."

The judge stared down for a long moment at the prince.

Great. Now the mopey royal brat was backing the brainwashed brat.

…

…

…

…

Dammit.

"Fine then. What do you propose in regards to the limit released, Madam Juno?" He snapped.

Repressing a sigh of relief as she shot Lydia a tired smile, Juno stood once more. "A twenty percent release."

The judge howled in disbelief as the crowd began to shout in their outrage at the old woman. "Perhaps I should rethink my answer. How could you suggest such an outrageous number?"

Juno's eyes narrowed. "That's a fifth of his power, your Judgeness. As we speak, the man is slowly, painfully crumbling to dust as the exorcism tries to finish its work. Twenty percent itself may not even be enough, but we have to try. If that much power was shielded from the exorcism because of the restrictions, then he may be able to re-absorb what was lost and re-build his soul."

The judge glared at her for a long moment, before he finally shook his head in disgust. "I truly must be mental… Fine then. We will temporarily release part of the limits placed on Betelgeuse, until he has healed." The gavel made contact with the skull one last time as the judge banished the binder. "Next case!"

Lydia felt her knees grow weak as the gavel came down.

They had done it. They had gotten back part of his power!

Lydia gasped, holding onto the railing in front of her for support. She felt a pair of hands grab her and guide her down onto the bench. "Miss Lydia? Are you alright?"

Lydia nodded. "Just need a second… I think I was holding my breath the whole time…" Lydia felt the prince sit next to her on the bench. She took a deep breath and straightened up in the seat. "I'm good." Lydia exhaled as she turned to the prince. "Thank you, your highness."

The prince smiled and offered his hand to her. "My pleasure, Miss Lydia."

"Please, your highness. Call me Lydia." She smiled as she accepted his hand.

"And you must call me Vince. I have a few things to see to in regards to these… scumbags. I…" His eyes dropped and he grimaced down at her slinged arm. "I hope… you know. That your arm heals. And things work out."

Lydia stared blankly at him for a moment, before a smile spread across her face. "Thank you… Vince."

* * *

"We heard him a few hours ago, but he didn't say anything, or open the lid. He was just movin' around a bit."

"Will zey release ze restrictions?"

Juno nodded, folding her arms across her chest as she grimaced down at the coffin. "Temporarily. If the plan doesn't work, they're going to sap all his powers and send him to the Lost Souls room. Some twisted logic about being 'kinder'. But the bastards just want him gone. If he manages to heal himself though, they'll let him, and only take back what they released when he's fixed."

Lydia sniffed, lifting her hand to rub it against the aged grain. "It'll work. It has to." She murmured.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and lifted her head to see Juno staring down at her. "Let's get you home."

Lydia shook her head. "Not ready."

The other three gave her odd looks, but nodded and exited the bedroom, talking in hushed whispers.

The Goth dropped her gaze back to the coffin, rubbing her hand across the dark wood. "You'll heal… it takes more than a few weasels to stop the Ghost with the Most… right? The madman with all the power… Come on Beej!" Lydia slapped her palm against the lid, glaring. "Wake up! Please…"

She sniffed, closing her eyes to hold in the waves of despair that threatened to pour from her.

The striped, beetle-crunching asshat was her protector, didn't he know that? He was her savior… And maybe that was the problem: she'd let herself grow close to him, become attached and comfortable in his presence.

And now she was dependent on the ghost. She needed him to feel safe, comfortable.

She felt selfish.

Lydia wiped away the tears welling in the corners of her eyes, and straightened up. Well… then she would fix that. She would be the one who saved _him _this time!

…

…

_How the hell am I going to do that? _She thought helplessly. Lydia sighed, spreading her palm back over the dark surface.

_Babes…_

Lydia jumped, snatching her hand back from the lid. The words that had invaded her mind… She was positive it was his voice. Lydia frowned as she pressed her palm to the wood again, spreading her fingers as far apart as possible. "Beej?"

_S'you… Where're ya Lyds?_

Lydia grinned, lifting her other hand and laying it out on the coffin as well. "Right beside you."

_Can't see ya…_

"Don't worry about it. How…" She hesitated for a moment. "How are things going?"

_Hurts… a lot…_

"Juno may have found a way to fix that. We've convinced Judge Mental and the court to release some of your power." There was no reply, which made her grimace. Lydia sighed, staring blankly at her hands as she traced circles around the RIP set in brass on the lid. "I wish… Wish I could do something to help." There was still no reply from the poltergeist.

Lydia felt a fresh wave of hopelessness roll over her. She shifted her position in the chair so she could lay her torso over the coffin lid with her arms folded beneath her head. The Goth closed her eyes, fully ready to fall asleep right here, screw what Juno would say.

It was then that she felt a low thrum of energy through the wood. Lydia's brows knit together as she concentrated on the sound.

It wasn't her heartbeat… no, it was one long, continuous vibration. And as she sat there, it increased by less than an octave, so little that she barely caught it.

Lydia smiled, sitting back up as she rubbed her hand over the coffin. "Maybe Juno was right then… You better heal soon, beetle-jerk: We need your mad genius to figure this out."

* * *

**Mad genius indeed..... WHOOT! More mysterious connection crap between our favorite couple!**

**ANYWAY! Nick comes back in the next chapter, for those of you that are fans of the skeevey little punk. Say what you want, but the dude is still important. =D**

**LoliPear:** Glad I could make shout. He does seem to always be there to put a more-than-expected damper on Beej's fun, doesn't he? No, seeing Beej turn to dust isn't fun, but hopefully we may be able to fix that with Lydia's help soon enough. You should go see it: totally disgusting, totally ridiculous, and totally amazing.

**RaversAnthem:** I suppose that's a way of looking at it, I think I was just a little less then pleased because it took me four tries to write and still feels rushed. *shrug*

**Prats 'R' Us:** He is the exuberant little bugger, isn't he? I haven't decided what's going to happen to her arm though. =| We'll just have to see. Sorry there's no rocking out in the courtroom, =D, but that would be hilarious.

**Z_lorea:** *cowers*Of course, because if not, Beej would for sure crumble away to nothing. Then where would the story go?

**SeductressofDarkness:** Glad you're enjoying. =D Juno's definitely one of my favorites to write, next to… probably Tobias and Nathoniel right now. And worry not- for I shall continue to write until this story can be taken no further. =D


	5. Transdimensional Telecommunications

**Hmmm… I have little to say right now.**

**Sorry this one took so long. =( Usually it's only Sweeney Todd stuff that takes more than a day to write…**

* * *

Time was passing too fast for Lydia's taste.

Too fast, because nothing she wanted to happen, and everything she didn't want to see seemed to happen regardless.

A week after the appeal for the release on his powers, one of those rotten monsters popped into life above the Capitol Building. She couldn't remember the name, only that the man was wild in appearance and manner. He appeared above the building, wringing his hands as he leered down at the unsuspecting creatures below until a handful spotted him and set up the alarm.

He'd let it run for a moment, before he snapped his fingers and the entire complex burst into flames.

Flames that actually injured the creatures inside.

Of course, no one died. But many souls were damaged and the building was burned to the ground. Only the doors remained, thanks to the ancient magic etched into them. It was a simple task for the building to be restored, but it was obvious that wasn't the point.

Someone was sending a message.

Lydia curled up on her mattress, gnawing thoughtfully on the end of her thumb, trying to figure out the message.

"_We're still here. We're ready. Catch us if you can." _These were the things that came to Lydia's mind as she thought.

Lydia rubbed her eyes as her stomach grumbled.

Clearly, it was time for lunch.

_What is their main goal?_ She wondered as she stumbled down the stairs. _Is it just Betelgeuse? Is it the whole Neitherworld? _Lydia yawned as she pushed the door to the kitchen open. _I wish Beej would wake up… this was easier to figure out with him on my side…_

"Well, if it isn't the spider queen. Where's your minions Lydia?" Lydia jumped, staring wide-eyed at the large man perched on one of the kitchen stools.

Lydia grimaced. "Planting Petunias in my window box, Otho." She fisted her good hand on her hip, glaring at the fat man before her. "Didn't they chase you out of here a few years ago? Something about… nearly exorcising them?"

"Lydia-" Delia started.

Otho frowned, lifting his cup to his lips. "I'm sure I've no idea _what _you're talking about. I simply came for a visit to convince your lovely mother to accompany me to an interior design expo in New York."

"Right. Maybe I should call them, make sure I have my facts straight. Barbara! Ada-"

Otho paled, and leapt from his seat to cover the Goth's mouth. "Now we have no need for any of that, right? We can all be pleasant!"

Delia sighed, leaning against the counter as she sipped her own tea. "Really now Lydia, darling. And shouldn't you be upstairs still?"

Lydia grimaced. "I'm not an invalid Delia. I'd like to visit with you and the rest of my family while I'm… incapacitated." She lifted her slinged arm for emphasis before turning to the fridge. "Besides, I'm starving."

"Well it's no wonder. I mean, look at her Delia-" Otho gesture to the Goth as she turned to face him with a fresh glare. "The thing is a rail."

"Whereas your body mass could feed a whole village for a month." She snapped.

Delia smacked her palm against the countertop. "Otho! Lydia! Enough. We will be _civil _in this house, do you understand?"

Lydia sighed, pulling away from the fridge with an apple in hand. "Of course Delia. Well I'm off to conspire for world domination with my _minions._ Catch ya later _round-boy._" She didn't know where the name came from, only that all of a sudden she was adding a wild cackle that could give even Betelgeuse a run for his money.

Otho didn't pale, he turned green. "…Oh…"

Satisfied, Lydia practically skipped up the stairs to her room.

She kicked the door closed as she made it to her sanctuary, giggling with delight over how uncomfortable she'd been able to make the man. "This calls for a celebratory bubble bath..." She murmured.

Quite the accomplished little bee when it came to extracting her still painful arm from her shirt, she discarded the sling and reached behind her with her good hand to pull her shirt up over her head.

"Er… Bonjour Lydia…"

Lydia yelped, jumping about a foot in the air as she let her shirt fall back into place. She whirled towards the voice, and came face-to-face with a certain skeleton. "Jacques!" Lydia's face burned brightly with embarrassment and she dropped her eyes. "We have to work this out like… maybe get trans-dimensional telephones or something."

"Oui." Jacques chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "Eh… is zis a bad time?"

"No. No I just… no. It's fine. Is everything okay?" Terror suddenly bubbled in Lydia's chest. "Is Beej okay? Has something happened?!"

Jacques shook his head, stepping slightly away from the mirror. "Ah… no. 'E is still asleep. But ah… Someone else was _very _insistent on seeing you… Do you know zis guy?"

"Hiya Lydia!" The voice was followed by a mop of curly brown hair and a pair of vivid green eyes.

Lydia's mouth popped open to form a perfect 'o' as she recognized the face. "Nick!" The Goth crossed the room in two short strides, leaning as close to the glass as she could without actually pressing her face up against the glass. She grinned back at the ghost as he shook his hair from his eyes. "Nick! How-?"

Nick smiled even wider, turning to Jacques. "Thanks Mr. LaLean, I owe you a big one."

"Mm."

The skeleton disappeared and Nick turned his attentions back to Lydia. "I was gophering for Juno, but she ran off to who knows where. So I finished the job she left for me and snuck away from Phoebe. I found out where that… thing lived, because I figured he would have a way of contacting you!" He didn't seem to realize she was glaring at him, because he rolled right on, gesturing at the side of the mirror. "Who woulda thought mirrors were like windows between the worlds? This whole thing is wild! I-… Lydia?"

She was still staring at him furiously. "Beej. Is not. A thing!" She slammed her palms down on the vanity desk, making Nick jump in surprise. "You know who you sound like?" She asked in a deadly quiet whisper.

Nick gulped. "No…"

Lydia's eyes narrowed. "Does 'Don't tease the filth' ring any bells?" She asked. "You sound just like those 'gods'. He's not a thing."

Nick frowned. "He's not human."

"Neither are you."

Nick snorted. "Yeah, but I'm not a monster."

Lydia cocked a brow at him, and leaned back to fold her arms against her chest. "Is that so?"

Nick paled and turned his face away from her, staring morosely off to the side. "I told you… Told you how much I regretted it…"

"And I told you that it doesn't change the fact that you did indeed, do it. He _saved _me from your little goons. He was nearly sent into an existence of eternal suffering in the Lost Souls room because of what _you_ did. You're damn right he's a monster though." Lydia pointed at the mirror. "But maybe the kettle should stop calling the pot black."

Nick sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't have to like him…"

"No. No you don't."

"Sorry Lydia."

The Goth sighed, and moved her hand to rub her throbbing elbow. "Why are you here anyway?"

"Do you want me to leave?" Nick's expression morphed to one of such agonizing hurt, Lydia's own expression softened.

"Not particularly. I was only wondering."

The ghost brightened, and straightened up in the mirror. "I came to see you. I miss you a lot Lydia."

Lydia smiled. "I never did get that second date you promised."

Nick smirked. "'Cept I don't really see how that could work out anymore…"

"Pft." Lydia snorted, turning away from the mirror. "Please Nick, I've been involved in the Neitherworld for a long time. Where there's a will, there's a way. Gimme a minute, I think I have a plan."

Nick watched her disappear into her closet, smirking as a few articles of clothing and various books were tossed back out. "So… so how are you doing?"

"Oh. You know. Fine for someone who was nearly murdered by ghosts. Did you hear? My elbow was all smashed up. Turns out I may not ever be able to straighten it again." Nick cringed, something he realized the Goth was probably aiming for. "Other than that, worrying about Beej, dodging reporters, worrying about this whole stupid ordeal. You know, normal stuff in a normal day in the life of Lydia Deetz. You?"

Nick chuckled nervously. "Ah… getting accustomed to being dead and feeling insanely guilty."

"That's nice."

"Are you ever going to forgive me Lydia?" He murmured.

Lydia reappeared, clutching a folded square of green cloth in her arms. "That depends entirely on you, Nick. If this works: I'll be right there." Lydia ducked through the bedroom door. Checking around the corners to make sure her parents weren't around, she snuck her way up to the attic. "Adam? Barbara?" She pushed open the door, looking around the tidy little room.

Ever since they'd become peaceful roommates over the 'marriage' incident, Charles and Delia had only been more than happy enough to go out and get cleaning supplies for Barbara. Now, the attic was probably the tidiest part of the entire house.

The model of the town had been moved back up here to its original place beneath the Christmas lights. There had been a few additions and improvements, but it looked about the same as the first time she'd seen it.

And there… right there was the gravestone where the devil sat as she sold her soul to save Adam and Barbara… She could almost see him sitting there with that stupid metal file, all nonchalant as he offered the deal. Lydia snorted, shaking her head as she turned away from the memory in search of her ghostly friends. "Adam! Barbara! I need to talk to you!"

Two heads suddenly blossomed from the floor as the couple floated up from doing who knows what downstairs. "Lydia!" Barbara was hugging Lydia before the Goth could prepare herself. "Are you alright?"

Lydia chuckled, patting the woman's back as she extracted herself from the bear hug. "Just fine Barbara, but I need your help. Seems I um…" Lydia grimaced. "Seems I have a date."

Adam stepped forward. "Lydia, I don't know… I mean… you still can hardly move your arm without hurting yourself…"

"I know Adam," Lydia arranged her expression in what she hoped was a sad, nervous look. It apparently worked, because both ghosts stared at her with slight shock on their faces. "But… this… this is really important. I have to go see him… It's Nick."

The ghostly couple exchanged confused looks before Adam pressed his hand to Lydia's forehead, feeling for a fever. "Lydia… honey…"

Lydia brushed him off. "I know Adam… I know he's dead but he just popped up in my mirror and asked me to come visit him. You could go check if you like, but he really is waiting for me. I want to go see him... please?"

Adam scratched the back of his neck as he turned to stare at the chalk outline of the emergency door. "I don't know… we don't even know if someone who was still alive could survive on the other side."

The Goth very nearly snorted. She stopped herself at the last minute though, and settled for a nervous grimace. "I want to try… I have to see him Adam."

Barbara brushed Lydia's bangs from her eyes, and stepped towards the door. "Come on Adam, it was only a matter of time before we gave in and tried to take her over…"

Adam sighed as Lydia skipped forward. "Alright… I just hope Juno's okay with this…"

Barbara pulled open the door with a grimace. "Are you sure about this honey?"

Lydia nodded and wrapped the green material around her shoulders. "Yeah."

"What's the tablecloth for?" Adam asked as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Barbara took the other side, careful of Lydia's elbow.

Lydia grimaced, searching quickly for any explanation. "Erm… well I figure… Neitherworld. Every time I meet a new ghost, and they bring those winds, it gets really cold. I just though… well maybe this might keep me warm… just in case."

Adam smiled and tugged the cloth more securely around her. "Good thinking. Almost there now."

Lydia took a deep, calming breath as the light of the waiting room came into view. She didn't want Miss Argentina to see her, or Juno. Or anyone else that might blab for that matter. Thinking quickly, she covered her mouth with her good hand, and feigned a cough. "_Nick Nick Nick!"_

Hey, if it worked for Betel, why shouldn't it work for Nick?

"You okay honey?"

"Peachy Barbara!"

"Here we… are?" The tunnel suddenly opened up out onto the highway, and for a moment Lydia was afraid Beej's house was in sight.

"Lydia!" The Goth turned towards the voice as she felt her blood red poncho flutter around her. "Wow, look at you!" Nick exclaimed, taking in the sight of her outfit.

Adam cleared his throat and stepped between Nick and Lydia. "Now listen… er… Nick?"

"Yessir!"

Lydia rolled her eyes, brushing past the geeky older man to slide her good arm around Nick's. "Don't worry Adam, we'll be okay. I'll be back in a bit!"

Adam sighed, folding his arms across his chest as he and Barbara watched the pair hurry off down the street. "Barbara, honey… Is she hiding something from us?"

"I think so Adam."

* * *

***dies a little* It's hard to write for Babs and Adam.**

**Yuck… tried like… another four or five times for this one…**

**Ah! I like the next one better… anyway, off to replies!**

**Z_lorea:** I hate allergies. I'm so doped up on allergy pills right now that it's not even really that funny. D= Well… if there was a camera set up it might be. Feel better.

**The Art of Suicide:** Phew! I was afraid I hadn't done all that well. Thanks for being jealous.

**RaversAnthem**: At first, Vince wasn't going to come in so early, but I wanted to have a way to get him more on Lydia's side, and what better way than to have him basically shove Beej's recovery down Mental's throat? I'll see what I can do about Beej and that loose hell =D.

**Prats 'R' Us:** Would have, but… I shall save that for like… a parody comic strip or something if I ever go buy new pens… Lol, a lot of people seemed to like that line, as I even got PMs about it. It was my favorite line too: had it all picked out way back during the first few chapters of the first story.

**LoliPear:** I'm glad I could put something in your mind all day. =D Means I'm doing my job (hopefully). And thank you! =( Sorry you're getting no reviews. I never liked Judge Mental… even as a child watching the cartoon. He just… bugged me. Always ruining their fun and being… judgemental! ( --- haha! Made a funny. =D)

**SeductressofDarkness:** Oh yes, they shall be explained as the story progresses. Everything shall come about in time. *manic grin*


	6. Them's Fightin' Words!

**Lotsa drama here. It also seems as though no one likes Nick.**

**=D**

**I have therefore done my job.**

* * *

"This place is fantastic, isn't it?"

"That's what I said. Everyone thought I was crazy."

Nick smirked sideways at her. "Well that's 'cuz you're just a breather."

Lydia gasped in mock offense and elbowed him in the ribs. "Jerk."

"Breather."

"Probably the first Breather to ever set foot in the Neitherworld. So there."

"Alright, guess you win."

"You're damn right I win. I _always _win." Lydia teased.

The pair laughed, swinging their interlocked hands between them while passerby made quick double-takes of the ghost and breather. "So if you're such a Neitherworld expert, where do you wanna go?"

Lydia bit her lip. "Truth be told… I've only been to Beej's house, the Eye-Scream shoppe, the Shocking Maul, and the Neitherwoods. He wasn't too keen on let-"

"The _Neitherwoods?! _Are you _crazy?!_" he choked.

Lydia shrugged and stared sadly at the ground. "Beej took me. After… after the conversation in the graveyard." She didn't see his expression turn to shame as he shifted his gaze away from her. "He was trying to cheer me up the Beej way."

"Lydia…"

The Goth shook her head and leaned closer to him. "No more talking about it. It's just you, and me, in the now, alright?"

Nick smiled. "Sure thing sweetheart."

"Let's go. We're both broke, right?"

"Yep."

"Then let's go to the beach."

"To the beach we go!"

* * *

"This is wild."

Nick laughed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as they stepped onto the sand. "Yeah. Stay out of the sea."

Lydia grimaced in the direction of the mucus-green water. There were a few young creatures splashing in the shallows, and further out the adults were surfing or boating. "Yeah. I'm weird enough without a freaky green gl-…" Lydia trailed off, biting her lip as the suddenly all-too-familiar sense of hopelessness wriggled its slimy way into her gut.

Nick nudged her with his elbow, frowning at her strange expression. "What's wrong?"

Lydia shook her head, turning away from the ocean as she tightened her grip on Nick's arm. "Nothing. Let's go for a walk."

Nick smiled. "Sounds good. You sure you're okay?"

Lydia nodded. "So… what's with you?"

"What do you mean?"

Lydia smirked up at the goofy grin. "I mean you're all goofy and happy. Half the time I was with you when you were… well alive, you were only pretending to be happy it seemed…"

Nick shrugged, turning his head to stare ahead of them. "I feel… free. For… almost three years now I've been surrounded by darkness and guilt. I still feel guilty, but being dead gives you… well I don't know, but I feel different." Nick grinned down at her. "I don't have seven evil asshats following me around anymore. That's bound to help."

Lydia laughed. "I suppose. They're still out there though…"

Nick shrugged. "And we'll get them. I've been working with Juno, telling her what I know, and they have a few leads I think. But..." Nick gestured around the beach at all the smiling, laughing, playing creatures. "Look at everyone else: they're so unaware of things right now. The only real reason they know anything is because that thi-… _'Beej' _is out of commission and out of their hair. And Loki blew up the Capitol Building."

"Loki?"

"The twitchy one. He's the… well they call him the youngest, but I think he's older than Set… anyway, he's one of the weakest, and he's a little loony." Nick shivered as the memories of the blood-thirsty ghoul reformed in his mind. "He doesn't care who, where, or when: all he wants to do is kill. To cause pain. Coyote is the next in line, and I think he's technically the youngest. He's a bit more powerful, but his powers have to do with trickery and deception. He's probably smartest next to Eris and Ahriman…"

Lydia watched him as he talked, her eyes wide. "Loki… that's like… the Norse trickster god, right?"

Nick nodded. "Loki, Coyote, Maui, Set, Anansi, Eris, and Ahriman. All the names of gods of chaos and trickery and deception and death. Technically, only Set, Eris, and Ahriman are actual chaos gods, the others took the names of particularly malicious or troublesome trickster gods. Anansi wasn't even really all that bad in legends, but the ghoul who took his name took the appearance and powers of a giant arachnid when he died…"

Lydia let out a low whistle which made Nick laugh. "Never judge a book by its cover, huh?"

"What do you mean?"

"Who would have thought you were so involved in the afterlife and legends?"

Nick laughed again. "Not me. It feels good to get it all out though, to give away everything…" His expression darkened as his eyes dropped to their feet. "I hated being under them so much. I felt so… like… like really sick. Not like I was going to throw up, not that kind of sick. I just felt… wrong. Everything was dark and doom, and plotting to end that thi-… _'Beej' _and I hated it."

Lydia stepped closer to him as they walked, laying her head against his shoulder. "Why do you hate Betelgeuse?"

"Why do you love him?"

"He's my best friend… and I asked first!"

Nick stopped, forcing the Goth to stop as well and he forced her to face him. "You like him more than friends."

Lydia cocked a brow, startled by his sudden hostility. "You were fine with it in the crypt."

Nick shook his head. "Being fresh dead was weird… I couldn't feel anything besides… besides happiness. I was never okay with it, no matter what I said."

Lydia sighed. "I thought we weren't supposed to be talking about all this…"

Nick glared down at her. "He's… he's vermin Lydia. He's a cruel, psychotic murdering monster."

Lydia lifted a hand and shoved Nick as hard as she could from her position. "STOP SAYING THAT!"

Nick stared down at her, shocked. "Lydia…"

Lydia shoved away from him, storming off in the direction she was sure the door was in. "I'm leaving."

"Lydia, wait!" His hand caught her shoulder and forced her to stop. "Lydia, please… I'm sorry!"

"No you're not."

"Lydia, I don't have to lik-"

Lydia shoved him away once more, growling furiously. "No, you don't have to like him. Hell, you don't even have to tolerate him. But I'm not going to stand here and listen to you degrade him like one of those bastard 'gods'."

Lydia had never seen a set of lips press into such a thin line as Nick's were. "Fine. I'm sorry."

Lydia sighed and shook her head. "No you aren't."

Nick glared at her. "Fine then, we're even: I insulted your boyfriend, you slapped me."

Lydia snorted at the comment. He was close to the truth, and didn't even realize it. "He is so _not_ my boyfriend."

The ghost rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Can we move on from this?"

Lydia huffed in irritation, but stepped forward and folded into his side again. "Tell me about the gods, please? No more talk about Beej. Just… what are they? I have to know."

Nick sighed in defeat as he wrapped his arm back around her shoulders. "I never liked Maui much either. He's… well… he's only a little more powerful than Coyote, but he uses his power so often, and so needlessly sometimes he's given everyone the illusion that he's more powerful than he really is. And he's… he's nasty. I'll give your poltergeist this: he's nowhere near as slimy as Maui. Maui… Maui was the one that… that was trying to rape you." Nick dropped his eyes again. "I… I begged Ahriman to deny him, multiple times. Right up to the ceremony. I should have known better though."

Lydia stumbled in the sand, shuddering as her chest began to ache beneath the handprint that would forever be burned there. "Oh… We killed him though… Well… the prince killed him. Stabbed him right through the heart." Lydia shuddered again, stepping unconsciously towards Nick once more.

Nick grimaced, hugging the distressed woman to his side. "It takes a lot more than that to kill these guys Lydia… Don't worry though. A hit through the heart?" Nick rubbed her arm reassuringly. "Don't you know your ghost-hunting rules? Their hearts are the power centers. Even if he wasn't destroyed, he'll be useless for a long time. Maybe… maybe centuries." There was false hope layered through those words, but Lydia ignored it.

"Talk about the others, please. No more of him."

Nick nodded. "Let's see… Set is the giant. He's incredibly strong, and powerful. Stronger than the younger three and Anansi put together. He's also probably the dumbest, next to Loki. All those two care about is the bloodshed. Anansi, he's the spider guy. He picked his name because he can mess with people's minds, make them experience a different reality. And his webs have different abilities depending on what he's doing…" Nick shuddered. "Eris isn't much better. She's… she's like a succubus, a banshee, a sorcerous and the she-devil herself all squashed down into one woman. I think… think I feared her the most…"

Nick fell silent as the memories washed over him, leaving Lydia to rest her head on his shoulder once more. She allowed him a few minutes of silence, staring out at the waves as they made their way further down the beach. "What about Ahriman?" She finally asked.

Nick coughed, staring carefully away from her. "Ahriman is scary. Scary powerful and scary crazy. He may seem all calm and collected, but in reality, he can get worse than Loki. When he gets mad…" Nick shook his head. "He nearly killed Set one time, he was so lost in his rage."

"Why was he so mad?"

Nick bit his lip, hesitating as the answer danced on his tongue. "He was upset because you were the breather that came." He hesitated a moment longer, kicking at a broken shell as they walked. "I know… know we aren't supposed to talk about… _him. _But Ahriman said you were important to the poltergeist."

Lydia sighed and nodded. "Not in the sense you're thinking of. Beej doesn't care about me like that… I'm a possession to hi- shut up Nick!- I'm a possession to him, because of something that happened five years ago."

Nick glared down at her. "You aren't a possession. How can you defend him when you just admitted that?"

Lydia closed her eyes. "Nick… Listen… Let me put it this way: things… things between me and Betelgeuse are… very, very, _very _complicated. He takes care of me, protects me, because in a way it's his responsibility, just as it is mine to take care of and protect him, even though I'm less equipped for the job. I belong to him," Lydia shrugged. "He belongs to me. Even I don't understand… us. It's difficult Nick, please let's drop it."

The ghost rolled his eyes. "I still don't like him. He doesn't deserve you."

"But he has me."

Nick hesitated, and the silence grew between them before he finally worked up his courage. "Couldn't… couldn't I have you?"

Lydia stared up at him. "Nick, you're dead."

"So is that beetle-crunching jerk."

"Hello? Complicated, remember?"

Nick frowned. "You don't like living guys. Why not give a dead guy a chance?"

"Necrophilia is generally frowned upon in civilized breather company Nick."

"Not Necrophilia if we don't have sex."

Lydia's eyes narrowed. "I suppose. But… things are complicated Nick, and that's the last thing I'm going to say about it."

For the rest of the 'date' the conversation turned to less fight-producing conversations. If Nick wasn't dead, and they were in a coffee shop, the rest of the 'date' could be exactly the same as their first, minus the car and almost-loss of her virginity.

"Nick… I should probably get back. My parents, or Adam and Barbara, will probably freak at me as it is…"

Nick sighed in resignation as he snapped his fingers and transported them back to the road leading to the Roadhouse. "Figures…" He grumbled.

Lydia stared around her, shocked by the sudden change of scenery. "How-?"

Nick shrugged. "Juno taught me a few things so I'd be more of a help."

Lydia let out a great, exasperated sigh. "You magical dead people, I swear, are such show-offs."

Nick chuckled. "Flaunt it if ya got it babe."

Lydia froze, staring at him with narrowed eyes. "Don't call me that."

"Wha-?"

Lydia shook her head, and her expression changed to guilt. "Sorry… I'm sorry, that was rude. It's just… that's what… what Beej calls me. Well he calls me 'Babes' but… please don't."

Nick's eyes narrowed for a moment, before he brightened and leaned forward to capture her lips in a quick, chaste kiss. "I like 'sweetheart' on you better. You can have claws every once in a while, but you really are a sweetheart."

Lydia giggled, rolling her eyes. "Goob."

"It's true. Lydia?"

"Hmm?"

Nick hesitated again, rubbing the back of his neck as they approached the door to the living world. He stopped when the triangle of wood was in front of them. "Lydia, I love you. More than the poltergeist. You aren't a _possession _to me."

Lydia grimaced. "I know Nick. I love you too. And I love him. And things are complicated."

"And life sucks. The _after-_life too." He sighed.

Lydia stood on the tips of her toes to wrap her good arm around his neck and pull the depressed man down for another quick kiss. "Buck up kiddo. And call me next time you escape Juno for a few hours."

Nick nodded and helped her up into the door.

Lydia stumbled out into the attic, falling into Barbara's arms. "Oh hey, how ya doin'?" She giggled.

Barbara cocked a brow as she helped the girl up. "Are you alright honey?"

Adam appeared by her other side, a cautious hand on her shoulder. Lydia chuckled, nodding as she extracted herself from their arms. "Just tripped. Nick and I had a good time. We went to the beach and talked about things. You know, he's so nice. And really funny. We tal-"

Barbara covered Lydia's mouth, chuckling as the Goth fell silent. "I'm glad honey, but quit trying to distract us: you have some explaining to do."

Lydia grimaced, but flopped onto the couch as the ghostly couple sat down on either side of her. "Well… shoot."

Adam pushed his glasses up his nose. "What was the whole… clothes transforming thing?"

Lydia shrugged. "I have no idea. Maybe… maybe it's some sort of thing that happens to breathers…"

Adam shook his head. "Nice try Lydia."

"And what happened with the door?" Barbara cut in. "It's supposed to go to the waiting room."

Lydia grimaced and tried to respond, but Adam cut her off. "Tell us the truth Lydia. Please."

The Goth stared silently at her feet, silently fighting a furious inner battle. After a moment, she sighed and closed her eyes. "Have you guys… heard about that ghost that attack the Capitol Building?"

Adam stared wide-eyed at her while Barbara shook her head in disbelief. "How… how do you know about that?"

Lydia sighed. "And someone's been missing for a while, which is making the rest of the Neitherworldians a lot happier."

"Lydia… Lydia what are you talking about?"

Lydia opened her eyes, staring unseeingly at the ground. "I'm talking about… well a lot of things, but they're all connected. To me. And Nick. And his sister and the other ghouls that were haunting the school… and… and another guy you won't be too happy about…"

Adam clenched his hands on his knees. "Lydia, tell us, please."

Lydia sighed, and lifted her eyes to meet Adam's, before she turned to look at Barbara. "Bum bum bumbum, bum, bum bumbum." Somehow, the wedding march she had been intending sounded more like a funeral march.

The ghostly couple fixed her with confused frowns for a log moment, completely baffled.

Lydia shut her eyes. "You can't tell dad or Delia. Please, I don't even want to tell you. And nothing's happened… nothing may ever happen if he doesn't…" She trailed off, waiting for the rage that was undoubtedly about to come.

And then the ghosts gasped in synchronized horror. "Betelgeuse…"

* * *

**Oh. Shiznit. They found out. =D**

**LoliPear: **Nearly ever character's name is a pun, either on a phrase or a person, which just makes the show that much greater. Woo-hoo! Glad you got a reviewer, that's exciting. Good luck with your stories and getting more. Otho will be showing his pudgy face every now and again in this one, if only to give Beej something to take his frustrations out on in the form of cruel hijinks. I was going for a sort of... melding of the minds thing there. =D it was fun to come up with. Adam and Babs are... quite possibly the hardest characters I have ever had to write for. Anthony Hope is a close runner-up though. =(

**Annonymous (RaversAnthem?): **Kick his ass indeed. I had to bring Nick back, despite the fact that he's an evil little worm. Nothing's better than a good, jealousy and possesiveness filled realtionship triangle.

**Prats 'R' Us: **Lol, thanks, I think I'll be posting another chapter today, concerning Beej. If I get around to editing it before I have to babysit... Either a snippet with Beej, or a continuation of their conversation.


	7. Uneasy And Enraged

**Short, but important.**

* * *

Tobias' corpse was given no rites of passage as he was put in the ground.

The only rituals performed, were rites that were put in place to prevent his evil from leaking into the Earth through his coffin. The ground surrounding him was blessed, locking the demon away from the world.

Nathoniel watched all this with a stormy expression from the hill overlooking the 'scum yard' as he thought of it.

There were no headstones, no memorials. The criminals were dumped into the ground, one on top of another.

Except for Tobias. Nathon had been insistent on this: every precaution was to be taken in this burial.

"_My death will bring about a monster the likes of which this world has never seen. And that monster shall be brought into this life by your own hands."_

What had he meant?

Nathoniel glared at the pine box as it disappeared into the hole. Tobias was gone. Gone from Nathon's life. He was one less thing to worry about during this plague.

So many people had died slow, painful deaths from this sickness. The witch had taken advantage of this fact to practice his dark magic without detection.

If that woman hadn't come forward, bloodied and broken with those symbols carved into her poor body…

Nathon shivered, and turned from the scene.

The walk to his home was a short one, only about a mile. But with this day, with the heavens crying above him…

It was far too long.

Finally, the handsome little building came into view, candles glowing merrily in the window. Nathon stopped to thoroughly scrub his hands in the rain barrel before heading inside.

"Oh Nat! Look at you my love!" The swollen, glowing figure of his wife suddenly appeared in the hallway, dragging his hat and coat from him and pulling him towards the living room. "Come along dearie, let's warm your bones."

Nathon caught his wife's chin and pulled her around for a brief kiss. "I've missed you my love."

Beatrice chuckled, and guided her husband into his ancient armchair. Of course, as was his wife's habit, the fire was roaring and warm enough to instantly warm him to his very bones. "And I you, my dear."

The woman had never been about duty: where other women believed their housework to be their duty, Beatrice truly enjoyed it. Everything was clean, pristine, and always perfect under Beatrice's hands.

She was warm and loving, and Nathon had fallen head over heels for her the first time he found her beautiful face. She'd grown, and aged yes. But Nathon thought every wrinkle only made her more beautiful.

Finally, after so many long years of trying and failing to have a child, her belly was swollen with life.

It had been hard, consoling her when the first two miscarried. Wives were supposed to give their husbands heirs. But Nathon had only cared about her, hadn't minded the lack of a child. It only cemented their love.

Nathon smiled, leaning forward in the chair to snag the hugely pregnant woman around the waist and pull her down into his lap. "I've had a long day, just sit with me for a while…"

Beatrice raised a soothing hand to his cheek. "Is he gone? That monster?"

Nathon closed his eyes, turning his face into her hand. "Finally. I feel… uneasy though. Let's not talk about it my love. How are you feeling?"

"Beautifully. He kicks more and more each day."

Nathon chuckled. "How're you so sure that the baby is a 'he'?"

"Don't question me young man." Beatrice poked him in the chest, earning a low, rumbling laughter in response. "A woman knows everything."

"But-"

"Shh!" She covered his mouth with her hand. "_everything._" She insisted with a smile.

Nathon kissed her hand. "Of course love. Is he kicking now?"

Beatrice frowned, pressing her hand to her belly. "Hmm… You might be able to catch him. Here, feel." She took his hand and pressed it to her belly.

Nathon frowned slightly, pressing into the swollen mound gently. He shifted his hand, trying to coax the little one out of hiding. And suddenly, there was a little nudge against his hand. "Ah! There he is!"

Beatrice giggled, laying against Nathon's shoulder. "Nat, dear?"

"Yes my sweet?"

"Please tell me what's bothering you about this?"

Nathon sighed, rubbing his hand against her stomach. "I'm not sure… The witch… The way he talks… he acts. He said something to me just before he hung, and it's unsettled me. I don't want to plague you with this my sweet. He doesn't deserve someone pure and lovely like yourself thinking about him."

"You sweet-talker you."

* * *

Betel blinked slowly. Everything about him was dull: his eyes, his expression, even his skin. He wasn't so much a dirty white anymore as he was a pale, faded gray.

The poltergeist lifted his hand in front of his face again, turning it slowly as he studied it.

At least he had finally managed to pull himself mostly back together again.

Only occasionally would a chunk of flesh dissolve into dark smoke. It would re-appear quickly though, and he no longer crumbled to dust when he moved.

Betel grimaced, slapping the hand he had been examining down on his eyes.

_Uggh… think I'm goin' crazy…-er. Weird fuckin' dreams… Lyds is the one that's supposed ta have weird dreams…_

"-take over Ginger."

"Thanks Jacques. Who was that guy?"

Betel grunted, rolling his head so that his ear was pointed in the direction of the voices. "Ze little punk zat caused all zis. 'E said 'e needed to talk to Lydia."

Betel felt himself freeze. She couldn't be seeing… was she really that _stupid?!_

"The guy gives me the heebie-jeebies... What was the guy's name again?"

"Nick."

Betel saw red as the name processed itself through his mind. She. Was seeing. That little _shit?!_

Betel felt a snarl rip from his chest as he kicked out against the sides of the coffin. Agonizing fire shot up his leg as his bones crumbled to dust and his flesh melted into shadows.

"Be-a-tal-juice?!"

Betel howled in pain, smashing his fist against the roof of the lid. It crumbled just like his leg, and made blinding lights flash behind his eyes.

_DAMMIT!!!! Babes…_ Betel grunted, falling limp against the mattress as his arm and leg began to reconstruct themselves. _Stupid girl… Gonna fuckin' destroy that little worm if he puts a finger on her… Dammit this hurts! _The poltergeist kicked the side of the coffin once more, glaring at the lid.

This was so _fucking _frustrating! He was the Ghost with the fucking Most for Christ's sakes, and he couldn't even keep his shape together!

"Can you hear anything?"

"No… no, 'e is quiet now… Per'aps… zis is a good sign?"

"Maybe. I've gotta get some sleep. Night Jacques."

"Bonne nuit, ami."

_Bonne freakin' nuit… make me freakin' sick…_He thought dully.

* * *

**Another tiny, but important, little snippet about Tobias and Nathoniel.**

**=0**

**No figuring it out before I post it! You guys are too smart! ;)**

**Seems someone always figures everything out...**

**ANYWAY!!**

**RaversAnthem:** This site is incredibly glitchy… so is Gaia. Hooray I have good instincts! Wait… *looks around* Anybody see where Nick went? We'll need him back here in a few chapters… It's just because Nick has been brainwashed and manipulated for nearly three years. He's gone a little loopy. And **Puppets** pretty much has Nick figured out. xD. Speaking of Beej… (anybody find Nick yet?)

**LoliPear:** Anthony Hope is a moronic little pretty boy. Do you realize if Anthony had never been invented, Sweeney would have killed the judge and gotten his daughter back in the first week of his return? Of course, then there would have been no movie, but still… (In case you can't tell, I detest him. xD)

**Puppets:** You do realize you basically just pegged their relationship? xD. And, like I said, he's a little loopy from the prolonged exposure to evil insanity. I'm glad you are enjoying this, I do try. But you'll just have to wait to see what happens! ;). And thanks. –runs off to write more-

**SeductressofDarkness:** I'll see what I can do about Beej and another update. Glad you enjoy the relationship drama. =D. I enjoy writing it.


	8. Confrontation And A Familiar Face

**CONFRONTATION!**

**=D**

* * *

Adam let out a shaky breath, pulling his glasses from his face so he could rub his eyes. Barbara uttered some, horrified, disgusted and frightened sound that had no name, and wrapped her arms around Lydia, pulling the Goth against her. "Oh Lydia, don't worry about him. We'll talk to Juno an-"

"Barbara… He's been Out for… months. Since before my last visit. With me."

The ghostly couple stared at her with wide eyes and half-opened mouths, trying to process this information. "Wh… what?!"

Lydia took a deep breath, and recounted the story. From using the Ouija board to strengthen her connection with the ghouls, their stealing her flier, fighting with Betelgeuse and letting the ghouls send him back to the Neitherworld. She bit her lips as she came to the part about the near rape. "Matthews… this guy who… who really has an issue with me cornered me in an alley way and… he and his friends attacked me." Lydia lifted the edge of her shirt, running her hand over the place where the three ropy scars were. The illusion melted away, and the ghosts gasped again. "Beej… he saved me."

Barbara shook her head in disbelief. "No… no he's… brainwashing you or something! He-"

"_GOD!" _Lydia snapped. Barbara and Adam jumped. Lydia shot off the couch, fisting her hands on her hips as she glared down at them. "I _really _wish people would _stop _telling me I'm brainwashed!"

"Who…?"

She rolled right over the question, launching into the rest of her story: fighting with him, figuring things out with him, dating Nick, the confession (very edited: she'd told them he had thought it was just a prank, and had chickened out at the last moment) and the second trip to the Neitherworld. She left out the majority of the cliff scene, saying he'd taken her for a walk to stop her from being so miserable. She told them all about Juno and the Prince disappearing, and every gory detail of the showdown in the crypt. She left out all the 'intimate' parts, and the pieces about Nick being directly involved with the gods, deciding they really didn't need to add those up against either of her poltergeists.

She took a deep breath as she finished, grabbing a fistful of her hair with her good hand. "And now… now he's suffering a slow exorcism and turning to dust in his house… and I had to go to the Neitherworld Court to appeal for a release of the restriction on his power with Juno and…" Lydia sank into the armchair and dropped her head into her hands. "This is all messed up…"

Comforting arms pulled her from the chair, wrapping her in a tight hug. "Yeah… it is." Barbara sighed.

Adam joined them, resting his hand on her back as Lydia sobbed silently into Barbara's shoulder. "Don't worry sweetie. We'll figure this out… Everything."

"I do care about both of them."

"Clearly."

"So you won't tell dad or Delia?"

Barbara grimaced. "Lydia, I think we should. They are your parents after all… and… and this is Betel we're talking about. And this thing with Nick... They should know. I don't think they'd approve-"

Lydia pulled herself away from them again, pacing away across the creaky floor. "I know, I know, which is why we can't tell them. Barbara, Adam-" She turned to them, a pleading look even more desperate than the one in the courtroom painted across her face. "_Nothing_ has happened between Beej and I." So she was lying, but it was a necessary evil. "He hasn't touched me _once_. All he wants is Out. The marriage had nothing to do with _me, _only him getting out. Now… now things are all crazy because of these 'gods' and... well… once you get to know him he's not totally irritating. Well… he is." Lydia shrugged. "But the guy grows on you like an unwanted fungus."

Barbara and Adam chuckled. "This is still a problem Lydia. He's a lecherous old conman. He nearly killed Otho and your parents."

"Otho: another reason to keep Beej around."

Barbara and Adam laughed again. "I can't believe he had the nerve to come back here."

Lydia shrugged. "Let me keep Beej my secret, and I'm sure we can arrange it so Otho never sets foot in Connecticut again."

Adam pushed his glasses back up his nose, and shared a quick look with Barbara. "He's… out of commission for a while, right?"

"Unfortunately, he may be for a long time…"

Barbara cringed at the depressed tone coming from the Goth. "Well… sweetie… we'll have to talk about this. But… until he gives us a reason not to… we'll back you. To a point."

Lydia threw herself across the room, practically tackling them both to the ground as she threw her good arm up over Barbara's neck and wrapped the other around Adam's waist. "You guys are the best, have I ever told you that?"

* * *

The next few days passed without much incident. Otho saw a shadow on the wall beside him and, not realizing it was his own, screamed like a little girl and tripped partway down the stairs. He had no injuries but it took quit a lot of reassuring and tea to get the man to stop babbling like an idiot. When he dragged Delia away to the convention or whatever the heck it was, Charles locked himself and Lydia in his office and the pair researched colleges.

"Otho and Delia can try to ruin your choice after we have one picked out. Let's try to pick one that will, you know-" He put a hand on his chest and batted his eyebrows at her. "Keep the fashion police away."

Lydia laughed, scrolling down the list to the next school. "Here's one just about an hour away in Massachusetts… Oh… no… No art programs…"

"Lydia… perhaps we should look in New York? They're bound to have a fitting school for you."

Lydia stared up at him, surprised. "Yeah but… the nearest one is like a day away by car. The really good ones are all crazy far away… I wouldn't get to visit hardly ever! I mean, I know I didn't when I was in PPU very often, but that was because of the crazy workload and trying to keep the ghouls from killing the girls."

Charles leaned towards his daughter, planting a kiss on her forehead. "Which will make our time together all the more special pumpkin. And we'll have the phone and letters."

"Alright… if we can't find a closer one."

* * *

Four agonizing hours later, they had one picked out. It wasn't in New York, and it was just a small little college out in basically the middle of nowhere in Western Massachusetts, but it had a great art and photography program that could put Lydia into a great position. And it was only six hours away by car.

"The Raven Brook Institute of Massachusetts…"

Charles shrugged. "Has a nice ring to it."

"Let's just hope they aren't haunted. I think I'm done with being the ghost whisperer for a while."

Charles laughed and gripped her shoulder, giving it a small shake. "Or have a horrible secret that needs exposing."

Lydia rolled her eyes. "Damn right. Sherlyds Holmes is on the case." She teased.

Charles hugged his daughter before he pushed up from the desk and stretched. "I'm beat Pumpkin, think I'm going to go take a nap. Maybe tomorrow we can call the school and get all the application dribble out of the way."

"Did you just call it 'dribble'?"

"I did."

"Night daddy."

"G'night Pumpkin."

* * *

Another week passed, in which Lydia, Charles, and Delia made all the necessary calls and filled out the necessary papers for Lydia's attendance to the school during the fall term. Summer was fast approaching its end, and as they entered the month of August, there was talk of throwing Lydia a huge party.

"Not gonna happen."

"Oh don't be silly Lydia dear." Delia insisted, already playing with color swatches as she tried to match the streamers and balloons. And the only colors she seemed to have were gaudy pinks and purples. "A woman only turns twenty once."

"You can say that for every birthday Delia, and I still don't want a party, I really, really don't. I… I think I want to go see a friend for my birthday."

Delia's eyes widened. "Who?"

"Oh… you don't know him." Lydia lied. Well… not really. Delia only knew the crazed lunatic from nearly six years ago now. "He's… a lot like me. Into the paranormal. I met him at school…"

"What about Nick?"

"BJ isn't like that. We really are _just _friends. And I don't want to talk about Nick…"

Delia grimaced in sympathy, but agreed to put the family celebration off a day or two if it was alright with the rest of the family.

Charles reluctantly agreed, and assured her he would see to it that they had Delia planned a smaller, family only party.

Adam and Barbara however, knew the truth of what she was planning to do. And they weren't too pleased.

"I can't argue with you guys, alright? I have to go see him, make sure Juno's plan actually worked. He could be a pile of green dust by now and I wouldn't know." She pulled the most pleading, pathetic look she could muster. "This is important to me."

They'd reluctantly caved, and so the 'date' was set.

* * *

Long, pale fingers drummed against the stone edge as the colors swirled around in the pool. Ahriman could hear the screaming in some room above, and was trying to block it out.

Poor Maui… Rejected and stabbed through the heart with an iron dagger.

That spoiled little Prince would pay for injuring one of Ahriman's siblings…

A cool hand slid over his shoulder, trying to coax him away from the mirror. "Big Brother, come away. Just for a while. Eat, read a book, do something. We can't get to anyone right now, what with that brat's forces out in the thousands…" Eris sighed, resting her cheek against the back of his shoulder as he ignored her. "You'll drive yourself mad my love."

Ahriman sighed, tearing his gaze away from the mirror as he lifted a hand to cup the woman's chin. "There's still work to be done Little Sister. Go tend to Brother Maui."

Eris pat his shoulder with a sympathetic air, but turned and practically danced from the room.

Ahriman turned back to the mirror and waved his hand over its surface, trying to make sense of the colors.

Slowly, very slowly the whirlwind of activity settled enough to give him a fuzzy, un-focused view of a dark coffin. Something was sitting nearby, though their attention wasn't on the casket.

He could only assume this was Betelgeuse's coffin.

"Dammit… he's re-forming. Useless breather…"

He waved his hand again, and the image switched to one of the poltergeist's woman, sleeping soundly in a room that just somehow screamed her. Ahriman stared at the girl in disgust. She had caused so many problems…

She would be the first to go. He'd tear that girl away from the cocoon of protection she had around her, and give her to Maui as a gift. His brother would make the little witch his, and then murder the thing if he hadn't already broken her.

She would pay dearly for interfering.

Ahriman snapped his fingers and the image dissolved.

* * *

***shivers* Hated writing that last bit.**

**Anyway, I just re-watched Independence Day while I wrote this. Is it just me, or is Will Smith **_**still**_** one of the hottest men alive, and a freaking amazing actor as well?**

**RaversAnthem: **Glad I could sate your literary hunger. =D. Good! Have them just… pretend you don't know them. =D.


	9. Benjamin And Tobias

**In which the baby is born.**

**I've also just come to another realization, and I want your opinions: Has anyone besides myself realized that in any romantic comedy that has a black guy in it, they are best friends with the asshole/jock/'cool guy', and they always end up falling for the fat/ugly girl in the group? Two perfect examples: The Hot Chick and She's The Man.**

* * *

Nathon tried to block the images from his mind as he set to work. He tossed up her skirts once he had her on the bed, holding her steady as she screamed and thrashed in agony. There'd been no time to fetch the birthmother or the doctor, only time to scream out the window for help before another contraction ripped through her and had the woman arching off the floor in pain.

That first contraction had come out of nowhere, sending Beatrice crumbling to the ground.

"Easy my love, easy, breathe!" Nathon reached forward to take her hand, trying to sooth her. "You're going to have to push Beatrice!"

Nathon had absolutely no idea what he was doing. He tried to remember all the advice the doctor and birthmother had given him, remember all the things he'd heard about his own birth.

None of it helped.

He heard the door bang open as Mr. Yenson and his wife answered his pleas for help. Mrs. Yenson took one look at what was happening and sent her husband out to fetch whoever he could wake up this late, before she rushed to the kitchen to fetch the warm water and cloths.

She returned in the blink of an eye, and together she and Nathon soothed and guided the distressed Beatrice through the birth.

Mr. Yenson returned half an hour later, just as another contraction sent the woman into agonized howls of pain. "The doc's outta town, seeing to some poor souls wot caught the plague. The birthmother couldn't be found, 'ow's she doin'?"

Beatrice screeched in response, just about crushing Mrs. Yenson's hand.

And then, quite suddenly, the room was filled with a thin, weak cry of shock.

Nathon lifted his head, staring wide-eyed at his wife. "It's a little boy…"

Beatrice smiled through her uncontrollable sobbing, holding her hands out for the bundle as Nathon and Mrs. Yenson cleaned the baby off and wrapped him in a thick blanket. Nathon grinned as he settled onto the edge of the bed next to her, lowering the bundle into her arms. "Our son Bea…"

Beatrice laughed, lowering her lips to the child's forehead. "He's so beautiful Nat…"

The baby whined, rubbing his eyes with tiny fists before they slowly blinked open.

All four adults gasped in simultaneous shock and horror as they stared down into wild, vivid blue eyes.

"Tobias Samuel…"

Mrs. Yenson crossed herself, and mumbled a prayer under her breath as Mr. Yenson dropped to his knees by the bed. "Nathon… Nathon 'e's got the same eyes as-"

Beatrice cried out, grabbing onto her husband's sleeve. "Nathon, you know I never-"

"Shh, I know my love. This is the bastard's witchcraft at work… he's possessed our son from the grave…"

"Nathon… if he's…-" Mr. Yenson started.

"I know! Get the priest, please."

Mr. Yenson was out the door in the blink of an eye.

Beatrice shook her head. "Nathon… Nathon no… He's just a baby! This… this might have nothing to do with the witch… he could just have… could just have that sorta eyes!"

Nathon sighed, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. "It is Beatrice. I… I just delivered him to this world by my own hands. That was what Tobias said to me… that I would bring a monster unlike the world has ever seen into life by my hands… And Bea… he's come about so early, yet he's large and healthy as any son brought to full term…" Nathon lifted a hand to cup his son's cheek. "We won't let him become a monster though… The priest shall bless him, he'll have his chance…" Nathon lifted his son's tiny fist to kiss it. "We'll protect him…"

Beatrice sniffled. "Little… Little Benjamin… I've always loved that name… It's a good name… Never known any bad people named Benjamin…"

"Benjamin he'll be then. Don't worry my love, he'll be protected."

* * *

"I'm sorry I… I'm not really sure what I can do to help… what exactly happened during the hanging?"

Nathon recounted the events to the priest as he and Bea stood on one side of the crib, while the priest leaned over the other. "Isn't there a prayer, a blessing, anything father?" Beatrice asked desperately.

Nathon hugged his wife gently, watching his son gurgle and laugh up at the adults. Such an innocent… tiny little thing…

The priest knelt by the crib and covered Benjamin's eyes with one hand, laying the other over the child's heart. Benjamin whined in irritation, trying to push the man's hands off him as the priest began to speak. "Lord, let the evil done to this child be locked away. Let the light offer him a second choice. Send to him a soul to sooth his, and tame the darkness in his heart."** The priest sighed again, and stood with a grimace. "That is all I can offer you, I'm so very sorry."

The child's eyes blinked slowly open, and Beatrice sobbed quietly in shock or relief, even she wasn't sure. For the baby's eyes had turned from that cursed blue to a blinding, unnatural fiery emerald.

But they were no longer the witch's eyes.

Nathon bent to scoop the whining child up in his arms. "We thank you father."

* * *

Betelgeuse groaned, rolling his head from side to side as the blessing in the dream washed through the child's bones. It was so damn _hot!_

The poltergeist snarled, ripping at his tie and coat as sweat coated his forehead. He ripped the offending articles from his body, thrashing about in the confines of the coffin in his quest.

It was still too hot.

He popped open the buttons of his shirt and kicked off his boots

Better… not much though.

Betel glared half-heartedly at the lid of the coffin. He wanted _out!_ He wanted to stop having these crazy dreams.

Who the hell were these people? None of it made any sense. He'd have to ask Lydia…

She'd figure it out. _Lyds… I'm goin' nuts in here…_

How long had passed?!

How the hell long was he going to be in here?!

God he was hungry!

Betel sighed as he lifted his hand to study its progress once again. He was slowly gaining back his normal color, and he could hold his form together.

But he felt like _shit._ He felt weak and tired and nauseous and it was driving him to the brink of insanity. Well… closer.

Betel sighed and closed his eyes, concentrating on the swirls of energy he could feel floating around him. If he could just take that power back…

_I wanna fuckin' smoke…_

* * *

****So that blessing… I don't really like… know all that much about Christianity and church and all that, so, much like the curse Nick used on Betel, it was just some blah I made up randomly.**

**I'm starting school again today. =( That's the bad news. The good news is that I boned the majority of the chapters for this story out, and there's a possibility we may exceed the last installment's chapters. =D. Oh, and I managed to set up my classes so I'll (hopefully) have plenty of time to write maybe half a chapter each day. =D.**

**RaversAnthem: **No, sorry. No Lydia this time. =(. Next chapter though! She goes back to visit his coffin.

**Prats 'R' Us: **I love that episode. =D Funny as hell. Adam and Babs are all for seperating the pair, so... =D. We'll just have to wait and see.

**LoliPear:** I don't like them either. Especially Maui. =(. But, you are right. It must be done. I'm _trying _to keep him half-n-half. I don't want all cartoon, or all movie but a balance of all the 'best' parts between the two. And I have had a small amount of practice. =D I.... *cough* role play on Gaia a lot. Or I did.


	10. From The Fragrent Confines Of A Deathbed

**This chapter seems a lot like filler fluff, sorry about that.**

* * *

Lydia grimaced at her reflection in the mirror.

It was bad enough she still couldn't move her arm very well, and was still being forced to wear the ridiculous sling. No: she just had to have a giant scar slashed across her forehead from cracking her skull in the crypt.

And nothing she did was covering it up very well.

Though… why did it really matter? He might still be comatose!

Oh… that's right. Dad and Delia didn't know about all this.

Lydia was planning to go possibly to the park, or some abandoned public place before she switched worlds. Her parents thought she was taking the bus back to Peaceful Pines to meet BJ, the platonic best friend studying to be a paranormal investigator.

Lydia knew that Delia had to bite her tongue to keep from saying something that might potentially hurt her step-daughter's feelings, and was grateful for that: if one more person insulted her striped poltergeist…

Lydia shook her head as she neared the woods, checking to make sure no one was around.

"Though I know I should be wary, still I venture someplace scary." Lydia ducked behind a massive tree, checking her surroundings once more. "Ghostly hauntings I turn loose, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice!"

Lydia felt a short tug in her gut, and closed her eyes. The trip was longer than when she was with Beej, and that worried her slightly.

When she blinked her eyes open though, she was standing in front of the Roadhouse.

"Now where in tarnation did yeh pop in from little lady?"

Lydia whirled towards the thick cowboy accent, her eyes widening in shock as her vision was filled by a gigantic furry creature. "Oh I-" There was a sudden, ear-shattering yapping from somewhere below her knees, drawing Lydia's eyes down to the strange little pink monster demanding her attention. Lydia gasped, stumbling back as the creature growled and leapt at her.

The big monster lunged forward, grabbing the yapping animal up into the air. "Poopsie! That ain't no way ta treat a stranger! I'm sorry Miss, he us'ly only does that ta-"

"Oh my god! He's so adorable!" The toothpick hanging from the monster's mouth nearly fell as Lydia took a step forward, and hand stretched out to pet the yapping pink creature. "Do you mind?"

The monster chuckled, but held out the suddenly ecstatic creature. "Naw, seems he likes ya. Th'name's Monster Across the Street lil miss. Might I be askin' yers?"

Lydia giggled, reaching out to scratch behind the dog's ears. "Lydia. Lydia Deetz. It's nice to meet you, Monster. And you Poopsie."

The monster studied the dark woman for a moment. "Er, Miss Lydia?"

Lydia looked up at him, patting Poopsie's head as the dog wagged its tail and yapped happily. "Yes Mister Monster?"

"Naw, Mister Monster was my pa. Er… I was just wonderin'… yer a breather aintcha?"

Lydia sighed. "Yes. I am Breather. Weird I know, I seem to get that a lot."

"Mind me askin' watcha doin' here?"

Lydia grimaced. "Are you friends with the poltergeist across the street?"

The monster let out a sound of shocked outrage. "Not unless hell froze over."

"Yeah, I hear that a lot too. I'm… well… I'm here to visit him." Since the Monster had no eyes, she could only guess at the shock and horror he was feeling. "I know, I know gross, wrong, horrible. Heard that all before too. It was very nice to meet you Monster."

"Er… yeah. Hey uh… be careful with that lizard, ya hear Lydia? A nice gal like ya oughta watch'erself 'round guys like him."

Lydia smiled brightly. "Thanks. I'll see you later." Lydia waved over her shoulder at the monster and the yapping dog as she crossed the street to the front door. Lydia pulled the chain on the skull doorbell, rolling her eyes at the ridiculous contraption.

A moment later the door swung open and Jacques had pulled her into a tight embrace. "Ahh, Lydia! It is so good to see you ami!" Lydia chuckled as the skeleton pecked her cheek before setting her down. "We 'ave missed you around here. It 'as gotten so quiet it is boring. Boring! Can you believe zat?"

Lydia laughed again, following him through the halls as he clearly understood the main reason for her visit. "Well… Beej will be up'n'attem in no time flat."

"'Ere is 'oping ami. 'E 'as been moving around all ze time now. I am thinking maybe 'e is getting bored."

"If I were in Beej's place, I probably would be too. But what about you and Ginger? How're you guys doing?"

"Ginger is practicing for a recital, but shh! Do not tell 'er zat I told you, because she wants to invite you 'erself." He whispered. "I 'ave been researching zis and zat for Juno while I am watching Be-a-tal-juice. 'Ere we go-" He pushed open the door to the poltergeists room, gesturing her inside. "And you ami? 'Ow is your arm?"

Lydia grimaced down at the useless sling. "Painful and in the way. I'm tempted to just chop it off and be done with the damn thing. And I had to tell Barbara and Adam about all this, so things are a little uncomfortable at home…" Lydia shrugged. "I found a new school though, so I'll be off in a few months and I can come visit more. Drop some of this secretiveness."

Jacques smiled as she talked, pulling a chair up to the coffin's side for her. "Ah, a new school? Tell me about it."

"No houses. Done with that." The room was filled with their laughter as Jacques found another chair and pulled it next to hers. It was strange, Lydia thought, that the skeleton was so easy to talk to. Just as easy as Barbara and Adam. "It's a small little institute. There are dorms, so I'll probably have a roommate. But since I'm going out of state dad is giving me one of his cars, so I can come visit."

"Zat is no good. You cannot tell Be-a-tal-juice zat I am telling you zis, but I am thinking 'e enjoyed driving you around more zhen 'e let on."

"Really."

"Oui. Doomie did as well."

Lydia turned her head, smiling down at the coffin. "Sorta enjoyed it myself." Her smiled slipped as she laid a hand on the lid. "Do you really think he's getting better?"

Jacques lay a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Of course 'e is ami. 'E is, 'ow 'e likes to say: 'Ze Ghost with ze Most'. 'E will not let zis stop 'im. Ze man is far too stubborn."

Lydia nodded. "Among other things…"

"Lydia?"

"Yes?

The skeleton fidgeted slightly, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he stared at the Goth. "If you do not mind my asking, as I am sure you 'ave 'eard zis before… but why do you care about 'im so?"

Lydia shrugged. "He's a fungus."

Jacques chuckled, glancing sideways at the coffin. "Yes, zat would be a good way to describe 'im. But a fungus is usually a bad thing, no?"

"Maybe a fungus is just the general idea. I don't know Jacques… he's just…" Lydia grimaced at the casket, as though her discomfort was entirely the poltergeist's fault. "He just grows on you, if you let him. And once you do, it's impossible to scrape him off."

"I know ze feeling… 'E is… rude and disgusting, and 'e is crazy and 'as done many bad things." Lydia nodded in agreement, tapping her fingers against the lid. "But… somewhere deep down in ze cold depths of 'is 'eart 'e is hiding some good…"

"I know. I thought the three of you didn't get along all that well?"

Jacques shrugged. "'E pretends, but only for ze sake of 'is reputation. 'E pretends to 'ate everyone, but those zat let 'im close 'e… well 'e becomes like a fungus as you say."

"We should probably stop calling him that." She pointed at the coffin, a teasing smirk on her face. "I doubt he'd bee to thrilled with us if he was listening."

"Ah, you are probably right. Are you staying for a while?"

"Mmhm."

"Would you mind staying with 'im for a while zhen? Things 'ave piled up since Ginger and I 'ave been so busy with 'elping Juno in between everything else…"

"Go ahead, Dad and Delia think that I'm going clear back to Peaceful Pines."

"Thanks ami." The skeleton ducked out the door, trying to hide his relief at being able to escape for at least a while.

Lydia giggled, turning on the seat until she was facing the casket. She fidgeted with the hem of her poncho as she stared at the dark wood, searching for something to say. "Are you even still there? You haven't turned to dust have you?" There was no answer. "You better not turn to dust…" Lydia sighed. "I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I miss you bug-breath. A lot." Lydia glared at the clasp just below her hand. One quick flick…

No… she couldn't do that. That could hurt his chances at recovery… Lydia sighed in frustration, tracing the buckle with her thumb. "Barbara and Adam know everything now. All about you. Well… I left out… certain parts obviously." To her horror a hot flush crept across her cheeks as the memories flooded her mind. "They're all for Juno's plan to find a way to 'protect' me from you. Dad and Delia don't know yet… thank whatever gods there may be…"

_Geeze you talk a lot kid…_

Lydia let out a short, relieved bark of laughter, scooting closer to the casket and pressing both hands to the lid. "I was talking for two, smart-ass. Feeling better?"

_No. You?_

"A bit. I'd feel better if you'd hurry your ass up and fix yourself. It'd be one less thing to worry about." The poltergeist was silent, leaving the Goth to trace bored patters across the lid. "Jacques… Ginger… Juno… they're all wishing the same thing."

Still, the ghost didn't reply.

"I'm going to just have to keep talking for both of us if you don't answer me."

_Tired._

"You've been sleeping for months now though! And Juno convinced the courts to give back part of your power… Is… is there maybe something I can do to help?"

_Tobias Samuel…_

"What?"

_Tobias Samuel and Nathoniel DePaul. Need to know who they are…_

"Why?"

_I think… I knew them when I was alive. _

Lydia stared down at the lid, shocked. He'd lived so long ago… Now all of a sudden he was remembering a pair of names? And why was it so important? "I'll see what I can do. Tobias and Nathoniel… Hmm…" Same as she had her last visit to his bedside, she shifted so her top half was lying across the lid while she sat in the chair. And, like the last time, she felt a low hum of energy reverberate through the wood. Unless she was deluding herself, it felt louder, more powerful than last time.

Before she even realized exactly how tired she was, she felt her eyes slide shut.

Her dreams were a confusing swirl of colors and words. She couldn't focus on any one thing for more than a few seconds.

Lydia whimpered into her arm before she rolled her head to the other side. The images flashing through her mind weren't her memories, they were another woman's. Lydia cried out as the visions became sharper, longer. Pale, clawed hands tore at her, shoved her to the bed, shoved apart her thighs-

Lydia was screaming even as she woke. She stared around her, wide-eyed and panicked. Since when had she been curled up on her side on top of the casket?!

Lydia sobbed hysterically, rubbing her eyes as she tried to wake herself from the dream. One clawed hand was suddenly wrapped around a dagger, and fire spread across her belly.

Lydia suddenly felt as though she'd been plunged into a pool of icy water, and she fell with a thump into darkness. Her breath came in short, painful gasps as she tried to calm herself and push the dream from her mind.

"Lydia! Calm down…" someone groaned beside her. Lydia gasped, tilting her head back as her vision adjusted to the darkness. She could see the pale profile of the only half-conscious ghost, and one dull green iris staring down at her. "Done?" He asked tiredly.

Lydia sobbed again, throwing her arm over his neck. "Beej!" She was too gone in her horror to feel relieved that he had his form back, still half-asleep and half-stuck in the rape. She felt his arm shift beneath her, and felt something touch her back. "Beej…"

"'Nother bad dream Babes?" He murmured.

"No… not a dream… bad… It hurts! He's killing her!"

Betel grimaced. "Babes, wake up, y'still here with me…"

Lydia sniffed, burying her face into his shoulder as she pulled her body closer to his. "Not a dream… it was real… a memory… Bad… he was… he did something when he raped her…" Lydia cried out again, curling into a ball as her other arm curled around her stomach. "I can still feel it…"

Betel grimaced, and dug his claws into her back. He had no juice to startle her with, but the pain did the trick: she gasped and arched closer to him, shocked from her hysteria by the unexpected assault. "Done Babes?"

Lydia sniffled again and re-buried her face. "No… that was… it was even worse…" Lydia whimpered and curled closer to him.

Betel winced, caught off guard by the frightened gesture. His body was aching all over, and the places where her warm, breathing body touched his felt as though wood had splintered beneath his skin. The pain was slowly fading though, and he breathed a sigh of relief. "Calm down Lyds, s'okay…"

Lydia lifted her head, staring around her new surroundings. "How… how did I get in here?"

Betel chuckled, turning his head slightly to look down at her. "Might have somethin' ta do'th the fact thatcha been screamin' my name fer twenty minutes." Lydia frowned, confused. How was he so sure of the time? The poltergeist chuckled again, and lifted his free arm. "Got my watches back."

Lydia smiled and snuggled into him once more. "That's great Beej, you're getting better."

"Mmhmm." Betel's eyes slid closed and he let out an almighty yawn. "Still feel like shit."

"It'll get better, the more power you get back, right?"

"S'the idea." He said with another gigantic yawn

Lydia covered her mouth as she too yawned, glaring up at the poltergeist. "D-d-d-daaaaaaamn you…"

Betel chuckled, pleased with the small, childish victory. "Sorry."

Lydia lifted her head, taking in his disheveled appearance. "Why are you half-naked?"

"Was hot. And still got m'shirt'n pants on. Not half-naked. Could get half-naked real quick if ya wanted…"

Lydia rolled her eyes. "You're coming back from a near-exorcism, and still all you can think about is 'getting some'? You're a piece of work, you know that?"

"Takin' it s'a compliment." Lydia's arm moved from his neck to his chest, and she snuggled all the closer, as though afraid the darkness would swallow her up if she was separated from him right now. Betel shifted the arm that was beneath her, wrapping it up over her waist. "Y'okay now?"

"Not really."

"What's'the dream about?"

Lydia sighed. "I was in a room… I think it was the woman's bedroom, and it was dark." Lydia shuddered. "I… she stepped inside, and all of a sudden… his hands were all over her, forcing her down onto a mattress in the center of the room. He was… it was horrible, I felt every scratch, every bruise and then… then he…" Lydia whimpered and pressed her face into his shoulder. "I felt everything Beej…" She sobbed.

Betel sighed. "M'sorry… Wasn't real though…"

The coffin was silent, thick with fear and a small amount of awkwardness, mostly on Beej's part.

Crying women. Not really his comfort zone. And what did you say to someone who was just violated by someone else's memories?

Beej settled for resting his hand on her hip and closing his eyes. He wanted to yell at her, asked what the hell she was thinking, going on another date with that little bastard. He couldn't bring himself to do it though, and not just because he was about ready to pass out. Maybe if he didn't bug her, and just let her sleep...

He felt her shift beside him, and realized how limp her arm suddenly was over his chest. A quick glance told him that she was indeed asleep. The poltergeist rolled his eyes, smirking at the lid as he let his own eyes close.

* * *

Lydia yawned, rolling her shoulders until they made a satisfying pop.

"Mornin'."

Lydia jumped, pushing away from the noise hard enough to make her hit her head on the lid. "Ouch!"

"Geeze yer jumpy…" Beej teased.

Lydia stared down at him, confused and disoriented for a moment. Then she gasped, realizing last night hadn't been a dream. Much to Beej's dismay, the Goth suddenly threw herself across his chest, hugging him tightly. "Oh you are getting better!"

"While I'd norm'ly enjoy this: get off."

Lydia flopped onto her side next to him, curling her arms against her chest as she smirked up at him. "Sore?"

"Dumb question."

Lydia lifted her head enough to press her lips to his shoulder. "Sorry."

Betel glanced down at her. "Warmin' up ta me Babes?"

"You may think you're a badass, and I'll vehemently defend that since I still owe you quite a few, but you really aren't all that bad."

"Y'jus' addin' insult to inj'ry…"

Lydia laughed. "I'm just glad Juno's idea worked." Her expression suddenly changed and her hand wrapped around the material of his shirt. "Everyone thinks you're dead dead… One of the 'gods' attacked the Capitol Building…"

Betel popped open one eye to glance down at her. "M'out fer a few months n'all hell breaks loose huh?"

"Yeah. The scariest thing is that it's not even caused by you!"

Betel rolled his eyes. "Such a little weirdo…"

"You know what?"

"S'that?"

"You're a lot more enjoyable when you don't have the energy to be a total asshole."

"Don't get used ta it Babes."

Lydia snaked her arm over his chest, planning on soaking up as much of this tame, if not sarcastic, attitude as she could.

Betel sighed, but she felt his hand curl up over her waist. "Feelin' better then?"

"What do you mean?"

"Ya had another nightmare."

Lydia frowned. "I did?"

"Don't remember?"

"Nope. I… remember being upset, and waking up to see you. I thought t_hat _was a dream."

"Aww, ya dream 'bout me Babes?" He teased. "How nauseatin'ly sweet of ya."

"Oh yes. You, good sir, are the object of all my wildest fantasies."

"Keep talkin' Lyds: Might just find th'energy ta make'em come true."

Lydia laughed. "Thanks, but no." She reached across him and wrapped her hand around his wrist, lifting it into the air to check the breather world watches. "Much as I enjoy the fragrant confines of your deathbed, I have to go back." She lifted her head again to kiss his cheek. "Hurry up and heal yourself Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice."

* * *

**Abrupt end, yeah, and probably sucked but I had to get a cut-off.**

**ANYWAY! I thought with all the worrying and panic, they deserved a little bit of a fluffy moment together, so there you go.**

**LoliPear: **You lucky! Thanks, I thought it fit nicely into my plans for all characters involved. Lydia would have been hung in a second. Probably before Tobias. Tobias was a snake in the grass and was only caught because he made himself public.

**RaversAnthem: **There's Lyds for you including a moment between the two of them. Thanks, I was worried it might upset someone somehow. Yeah, now I just need to... put everything into full words. =|

**Fem-inja: **Yes, yes he is. It's his job, and if he wasn't pissing everyone off and digging a second grave for himself, I would have to dock his pay and put him in the boo box. Don't worry: if things go according to plan, Beej will be showing his charming self within the next few chapters.


	11. Burps, Prunes, Barbies And Worms Oh My!

**Whoot! Things finally happen towards the end of this chapter. Enjoy.**

* * *

"You're sure you have everything?"

Lydia rolled her eyes. "Yessir, I'm all packed."

"And your friend is bringing your vanity up when he gets back?" Charles asked.

Lydia bit her lip. "Yeah, he should be back any day." _Hopefully._

The autumn term was upon her, the birthday scene averted with a few smooth moves on Lydia's part. Delia's big blowout plan had been down-graded to a fancy Italian dinner in-home by an actual caterer. Then it was crappy-old-horror-movie night, where there was more laughing than terror. Even Charles, nerves shot as they were, seemed to enjoy the buckets of fake blood and horrible special effects.

The time to go up to Massachusetts had come too quickly for Lydia's tastes. So with her suitcases and dufflebags thrown in the back of the dark green Subaru SVX her father had given her, there was no room left for procrastination.

It was time to leave. Again.

Delia kissed her step-daughters forehead, wrapping the girl in a tight embrace. "No more adventures, alright? You nearly scared your father and me to death." Everyone laughed, but the sound was forced, because everyone was thinking the same thing. Delia sighed, and pulled the girl into another tight squeeze. "You be careful out there dear."

"Alright alright, my turn." Charles pulled his daughter from Delia's arms, and locked her in a similar embrace as he pressed his lips to the top of her head. "Delia's right though, let's be safe this term, okay?"

Lydia chuckled weakly, the thought of what was looming on her horizon blossoming cruelly in her mind. "No promises daddy, but I'll try."

"That's all I can ask from my strange, wonderful little girl."

Lydia rolled her eyes, chuckling as she was passed off to Adam and Barbara. Barbara leaned close to her ear as Adam gave his so long speech, and whispered her own parting words. "Lydia, dear… just be careful, alright? We're going to talk to Juno tonight to see if we can have some sort of pathway between here and your new dorm, and we will be checking in on you." She kissed Lydia's cheek and allowed Adam to do the same before everyone was ushering the Goth outside.

Lydia slid into the car, waving goodbye to everyone.

_We will be checking in on you._

Lydia grimaced as she pulled away from her home.

_God Juno you better not suddenly change your ways… They can't come… not yet. Not until it's safe…_

* * *

Lydia's knuckles were white as she pulled up to the apartment complex, gripping the steering wheel as hard as she could.

What would these girls be like? Would god grace her with separate rooms and nice girls? Nice girls who didn't invade her privacy and stab her in the back?

Lydia took a deep breath, and hauled herself from the car, popping the trunk on her way out. She slung one dufflebag over her shoulder and pulled the two suitcases out. She balanced the other bag on one of the suitcases, and made her way to the stairs.

"23d… 23d. Oh geeze… of course it would be on the second floor." Lydia attempted the first step, before quickly deeming it was impossible as her elbow gave an agonizing throb. "Geeze… where's your magical dead friends when you need them? Damn floaters…" She grumbled. She left the suitcase with the dufflebag hanging off it by the bottom step, and pulled her other luggage up the stairs, grunting from the effort.

"Hey, like, you need some help?" Lydia grit her teeth as the thick, valley-girl accent assaulted her eardrums. She took a deep breath and arranged a false, cheery smile on her face as she turned to see a girl with massive amounts of carefully styled blond hair and thick, pouty red lips. As any queen bee would, she was surrounded by her mindless little followers.

Lydia nodded. "Yes, please. That would be great."

The group laughed, little miss valley the loudest and most obnoxious. "Well then, you better, like, summon some of your minions from the like dark beyond." The group laughed even more hysterically, as though that was the funniest thing they'd ever heard in their lives. "And what's with that deeee-sgusting outfit?"

Lydia frowned, looking down at the knee-length, deep-purple dress she'd picked for its comfort. She wore a pair of dark leggings beneath the outfit, and had a lavender-and-pink sash around her waist. Yeah… maybe her shoes weren't so stylish, she'd grabbed the first pair of black slip-ons she'd found. The look was finished off with the longest pair of finger-less gloves she owned to hide her scared arms. Lydia lifted her head, staring the blond up and down carefully. "I don't think your outfit's _that _horrible." Lydia retorted.

The blond gasped, a sound full of disgust and contempt at having her insult thrown back at her. Her eyes fell to the luggage at the foot of the stairs, and a web-patterned green tablecloth rolled up on top of the dufflebag. "And like, look at this girls." She pounced forward, ripping the material out of the bag. "Her decorating sense is like, even worse than her fashion sense."

Lydia gasped in horror, and practically flew down the stairs as she dropped her luggage. "Don't touch that!"

The blond laughed a nasty, screeching laugh as she leapt away and tossed the material to one of her minions. "Oooh, is it like, soooo important to you?"

Lydia's arm shot towards the girl that grabbed it without thinking, straightening her elbow fully out. Lydia yelped, withdrawing her arm and cradling it against her chest as the green bundle was tossed to another girl. "Give it back!"

"Leave her alone Claire!" The bundle was suddenly snatched from the air by a long, bony arm, and a smaller, bespectacled woman appeared by Lydia's side, glaring at the other girls.

"Shove off Barbie." The girl told the lead blond, whom Lydia assumed to be 'Claire'.

Claire snorted, and flipped her massive hair over her shoulder. "Like, what~eveeeeeeer! Come on girls."

Lydia sighed, rubbing her elbow gently as the taller girl came towards her, re-folding the material. "Thanks… erm…?"

The first girl, who was easily six feet and (somehow) even thinner than Lydia closed the distance and held out the neatly folded square of material. "I'm Bertha. This is Prudence."

Lydia smiled and accepted the bundle back, still cradling her arm against her chest. "Thanks, again, Bertha, Prudence. My name is Lydia, Lydia Deetz."

"Oh!" Prudence glanced up at Bertha before turning her giant specs on Lydia. "You're Deetz? You're our new roommate! 23d right?"

Lydia nodded. "That's right."

"Would you like some help with your luggage?" Bertha asked.

"Yes, please."

"What's wrong with your elbow? If you don't mind my asking?" Prudence asked.

Lydia grimaced, and held the throbbing arm out a few inches. "I… I had an accident." She answered simply.

The other two exchanged quick glances, but thankfully let the subject drop. Wordlessly, Bertha grabbed the two suitcases, and Prudence grabbed one of the bags. Lydia tried to protest, but Bertha waved her off. "Nonsense Lydia, you just survived a vicious attack by the Raven Brook Bitches."

"Yeah, did you see Claire's face after you twisted her insult back at her? Classic."

Lydia blushed. "You guys got her to back off though."

"That's only because Claire's probably afraid we might spell big words at her." Bertha joked, hauling the suitcases up over the last step.

"Or recite the first hundred decimals of pie." The trio laughed as they finally made it into the safety of the apartment. "So… about the rooms." Prudence started.

Lydia grimaced. "Yes?"

Bertha set the suitcases down, and gestured to the hallway. "There are only two bedrooms. Prudence and I both require humidifiers at night, so we planned to share the master bedroom, so long as you don't mind that the other bedroom is… rather small."

Lydia brightened considerably. "I don't mind at all. Er… I have one question…"

"Yes?"

The Goth set down her dufflebag and fought the zipper one-handed. "Damn thing, ah!" She stood, cradling a tomato-soup can sized container of paint. "Are we allowed to redecorate?"

Prudence nodded. "So long as you paint back over it, or they dock our security deposits. Er… that's just a little can though…"

Lydia blushed, and Bertha elbowed her spectacled friend. "Prudence!"

Lydia shook her head. "No… no it's just… Sort of weird."

"What?"

Lydia smiled nervously. "It's not to… redecorate per se… Er…" Lydia ducked towards her bag once more, juggling the can in her injured elbow as she extracted a book of symbols from her clothes. "Sanctuary spells. I'm…" She hesitated. "I'm very deep into the paranormal."

"You mean you talk to ghosts?" Bertha asked.

Lydia bit her lip. "…Eh… sort of…" She murmured.

To her great surprise, the girls smiled. And not mocking smiles. Kind, interested smiles. Prudence turned to head into the kitchen, pushing her specs farther up her nose. "That's interesting."

"Weird, but interesting." Bertha cut in. "Need help?"

Lydia shook her head. "No, thank you though."

Lydia escaped into her new room, grimacing at the utter lack of personality. There was a simple twin pushed up in the corner, the mattress leaning up against the wall, bare of sheets. There was a tiny dresser inside the closet, and a rickety nightstand by the bed.

No desk, or vanity.

_Perfect…_ She thought. _Once I can get BJ and Doomie over here, I can get the vanity…_ Lydia smirked, imagining the choice words BJ would have for her when she asked him to help her.

With that happy thought in mind, Lydia pulled the small hand mirror from the side pocket of the dufflebag.

It would suck, but it would have to do for now.

Lydia lay the mirror on the windowsill, and set to work. She dragged the mattress out of the way, and popped open the first can.

The book lay open on the bedframe as Lydia painstakingly recreated the symbols for peace and sanctuary as she had her first night in Peaceful Pines. After two hours, she finished the last, slow, agonizing stroke with a flourish, and deposited the brush into the empty can.

Taking a deep breath, Lydia flipped to a page near the back.

_**To Shield The Subconscious**_

No. More. Freaking. Visions.

No more.

* * *

Lydia ran a hand through her hair as she dumped the brushes into the sink, quickly dialing her home number on the phone. The cord was stretched to the max, but as Prudence and Bertha had gone to some club thing, there was no need to worry about someone clotheslining themselves on it.

"Hello?" Came a tired voice.

Lydia smiled. "Hey daddy."

"Pumpkin! You got in alright then? Met your roomies?

"Did you really just call them roomies?"

"What? Isn't that the 'hip' word for it?"

Lydia snorted. "Oh god dad, you big goob."

"The biggest. So, are they nice?"

"Yep. Saved me from some buck-toothed blondie brat and her Barbie-clone twits."

"That's great pumpkin! What're their names?"

"Bertha and Prudence. They're really nice. A little odd, but that makes them all the better."

Charles laughed. "No one is as odd as you pumpkin."

"Mmm. Right."

"Oh really, who is there that is odder than the great Lydia Deetz?"

Lydia bit her tongue, wishing she had said anything else. "Oh… no one. Listen Daddy, I've got to go. Getting ready for classes tomorrow, and I wanted to call BJ before I turned in. He was still so sick last time I called."

"Wait, how's your arm?"

Lydia gave the elbow and experimental stretch, cringing as the pain lanced up her arm. "Sore and stiff."

"Ice it pumpkin, before you call your friend. Love you."

"Love you more. Spread the love to the others for me dad?"

"'Course I will pumpkin."

"Talk to you soon dad."

"Later pumpkin."

* * *

The next few days passed surprisingly painlessly. Bertha and Prudence were great company to be had. There were no parties, no creaking beds next door, and the pair were almost shockingly clean creatures.

"Cluttered surroundings lead to a cluttered mind." Prudence offered with a shrug when Lydia commented on how nice it was to live with others that shared the idea of cleaning up after oneself.

Lydia chuckled quietly as she shoved the cereal box back into the cupboard. "Oh man, you'd just _love _BJ then."

Bertha looked up from her Advanced something or other that looked suspiciously like some sort of genius math to Lydia. Lydia was smart, she did fairly well on her grades, but she wasn't quite Bertha and Prudence smart. "Boyfriend?" Bertha asked.

Lydia cringed. "…No… not exactly. He's… no. He's purely a platonic best friend."

Bertha and Prudence smirked at one another over the counter. "Denial."

Lydia blushed. "No. Not Denial."

Bertha closed the book, cocking a brow at Lydia. "Do you… want to be more than platonic best friends with him?"

Lydia snorted, turning away quickly to hide her slightly panicked expression. "Nope. Not in the slightest. BJ and I are only compatible as partners in crime."

Prudence clicked the coffee maker off as it binged, and set about making three mugs. "Do we really get to meet him?"

Lydia sighed, tracing the fake whorls in the wood-patterned lamination on the table. "Maybe… when he gets better…"

Bertha grimaced. "Is he very sick then?"

"Very. Last time I saw him he could barely move, and he couldn't stay awake."

Prudence offered one of the mugs to Lydia. "I'm sure he'll be fine Lydia."

Lydia sighed, giving her new friends a sad smile. "Hopefully…"

* * *

Loki giggled psychotically as he knelt by the whole Set had punched in the road. Below, through the swirling rainbow of fog, a sandworm screeched in defiance. "Come on Set! How we gonna get one?!"

The giant growled down at the twitchy little goblin. "Loki, I'm gonna pulverize ya if ya don't shut yer irritatin' yap. Ahriman said ta grab the biggest one."

"How we gonna find it?"

"With bait." Set snapped his fingers, and suddenly Loki was wrapped in thick green bands of energy. The goblin screamed as Set planted a foot on his butt, and gave a good hard kick in the direction of the hole.

Loki thrashed and screamed as he fell through the hole, cursing Set in every language he could as the sandworms scented the above average aura of power, and converged. Set watched from above until he spotted a sandworm making its way towards the horrified ghoul that could probably eat all the other sandworms and have room for seconds.

"Perfect. Loki, get that one!"

The goblin snarled up at his Brother before turning to search for the one he'd specified. His eyes grew bigger than dinner plates as he renewed his struggle. "Damn you Set, are you crazy?! I'll fuckin' kill ya! AHHH! PULL ME U-" The sandworm closed its jaws around Loki, at the same time Set yanked them up through the air.

The snarling beast could easily be nearly a mile long, with a hundred foot diameter. His fangs here longer than Set's body, and gleamed cruelly in the Neitherworld's suns as it snarled its defiance, unthinkingly releasing Loki from its clutches. The sandworm spotted the town and licked its lips, ignoring Set as he tackled Loki out of the way.

As the purple-striped ghost-eater slithered towards the town, Loki freed himself and socked Set as hard as he could. "You bastard!"

"Twitchy little fuck."

* * *

**Mwuhahahahahahahahahaha!!!1!11!!!**

**Life4DemiMeg:** Not much, but yes we did, glad you enjoyed. =D. And even half-dead-dead, there is no Betelgeuse without crude, dirty jokes. Yay! Glad I can keep you on your toes, though I sincerely hope you don't figure it out before the end. And yes, for certain things in this plot to work, Beej must be severely incapacitated. It must be done. And unfortunately, there are still things to happen in regards to Tobias and Nathoniel. And I still haven't decided in regards to her elbow. It may, or may not heal depending on how my idea goes… I shall do my best! And thanks for the reassurance.

**RaversAnthem:** I'm glad I could help you with your day! And don't worry about the squee, it happens. And, as things happen, I finished boning out a soon-to come chapter before I posted chapter 10 up, and ninety percent of it is Lydia's thoughts. =o Great minds think alike.


	12. Worrying

**I don't know how I feel about this chapter. I had to re-write it a few times today...**

* * *

Lydia yawned, rolling onto her side as the sun assaulted her through uncurtained windows.

Unless it had just been a good night… her spells seemed to have worked. Lydia sat up with a smile, stretching her arms high above her head to work out the kinks in her back. "Ahhh… real dreams: ya know I love'em." She said, stealing one of Beej's phrases.

"Lydia?"

Lydia jumped, shocked at the familiar and unexpected voice coming from her windowsill. Lydia scrambled free of her comforters and made the short trip across the room, scooping up the mirror. "Ging?"

The little pink spider seemed to be clinging to the top of the mirror, staring nervously behind her. "Hey Lydia."

"What's wrong?"

Ginger shook her head, glancing to her side now. "Nothing we can't handle sweetie, we just thought you should know those monsters're attackin' again. They set loose a gigantic sandworm. Jacques, Monster, Monstress and I're staying behind to protect this side of town." There was an unmistakable screech of rage somewhere in the background.

"Ginger, be careful, please?"

"'Course sweetie. And don't worry about us, I just thought you should know what's goin' on. Good luck today."

The image began to dissolve, which sent a flicker of fear through Lydia. "Wait! Ginger!" But the image faded, leaving Lydia to stare at her own panicked image.

"You alright in there?"

Lydia wiped at the corners of her eyes, horrified as she felt them burn. Not from sadness, or fear. From frustration. "I'm… I'm alright Prudence."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'll… I'll be out in a minute."

Dammit… she wasn't going to sit by and let some alien worm eat her friends! _No… Ginger said they were handling it. And I do have classes… I have the mirror… I can call them during my breaks… and take the poncho… _Lydia took a deep breath. _What could I do, even if I did go? Watch and cheerlead? Yeah right…_ Lydia exhaled through her nose, and crossed to her closet.

_I hate not being a magical dead person._

* * *

Lydia drummed her fingers against her desk, glaring daggers at the clock above Professor Erburn's head. Since when had she gone to the Neitherworld? For that was the only explanation for the suddenly sluggish pace of the clock.

"Eager are we, miss Deetz?" Came the man's low voice.

Lydia jumped, grimacing apologetically at him. "Oh um…" She glanced down at the carbon copy notes she'd taken, and the nearly completed assignment. She wanted nothing keeping her here when the little hand hit the 11. "It's just that I'm done…"

Erburn's brows disappeared beneath his ridiculous bangs as he stared at the Goth in disbelief. "You are? You completed all seven exercises?"

The students around Lydia shot her irritated looks as they concentrated on working their own assignments. "I… I have sir."

"Well then there's no point in your staying here. Turn in the assignment and leave."

Lydia blinked, startled by the abrupt order. Then her face lit up as she quickly packed her bag and leapt from her seat. "Thank you sir." She was out the door in a flash, aiming for left hallway. There were no classes there this hour.

She'd checked.

Lydia ducked into the second empty room she found, and dropped her bag by the door once she'd pulled out the hand mirror. She slid into one of the desks, and held the mirror out in front of her. "Ging? Jacques? Anyone there?"

"I am 'ere." Jacques face suddenly slid into the frame, staring up at her with a confused expression. "Should you not be in class ami?"

"Finished my assignment. I was worried about you guys, how's everything going? Is the sandworm gone?" She asked.

Jacques shook his head. "It 'as moved to ze Eastern 'alf of ze city though, so we are in ze clear for now. All zat is over zere is mostly abandoned."

Lydia frowned. "Don't sandworms sniff out powerful ghosts for lunch?"

"Zey do, but everyone 'as been after zis one with all zey 'ave, so it is most likely disoriented."

Lydia sighed. "Is it really that powerful?"

"Unfortunately. Juno is calling ze Powers Zat Be if it cannot be taken back to Saturn by noon Breazher time. Ze will most likely kill it." Her eyes widened in shock, and Jacques nodded. "I know, but it 'as destroyed much if ze city. We 'ave tried luring it, stunning it… But none of ze magic works." Jacques sighed. "It… looks as though ze 'gods' set it loose. A man told Juno zat 'e saw a dark giant of a man and a wild looking smaller man with 'im."

Lydia grimaced. "Sounds like maybe Set and Loki… or Coyote…"

"'Oo?"

"Nick told me about them. Set's the giant. Loki and Coyote are the little ones. Are you sure everyone is okay?"

"I am positive Lydia. You should concentrate on your classes, everything is alright over 'ere."

"Yeah… that's not going to happen. I'm calling again around one."

Jacques chuckled, but nodded. "Alright zhen. We will be fine though, so concentrate on your work."

"I'll try. Bye Jacques."

"Au revoir ami."

The skeleton faded from the mirror with a short wave which Lydia only half-heartedly returned.

Was the sandworm really that tough? The one that had eaten Betelgeuse had been big, but not that big. Its mouth had barely fit around the poltergeist's body… Lydia shuddered at the memory. If there were things bigger than that on Saturn…

Lydia stood and retrieved her backpack, shoving the mirror in between the fold of the poncho. "Just one more class, just one more and it's over for the day. Thank god for morning classes…" Lydia exhaled slowly, checking the clock once more. If she was going to spend the afternoon in the Neitherworld, she would need to eat something.

* * *

Lydia grimaced up at the menu, and then behind the counter of the tiny grill set in the corner of the cafeteria. Deciding against something cooked for sanitation and health reasons, the Goth turned to the cooler and grabbed a salad. Then she decided she needed sugar, and grabbed a coke.

Thankfully, the line was short, and Lydia breezed through it without incident.

Of course, Lydia's life could never be that easy.

Even as she noticed the blond bitch from her first day stalking towards her, Lydia slid into one of the hard plastic chairs at the last available table, and pulled a book of Poe works from her bag.

"Oh my gawd girls, like, look who's here! The Queen Vampire herself!" The group giggled stupidly like the bunch of airheads they were. "I thought vampires couldn't like, come out in the sun?"

"Oh, some of us can. When we drink the blood of virgins. It's like internal sunblock." Lydia sighed, flipping to the page she'd left off on. "I'm sure glad you aren't a virgin Claire. I would hate to have to drink something so low on the IQ charts."

Claire gasped, glaring disgustedly at the Goth. "Like, you think you're so smart."

Lydia rolled her eyes, adopting a mocking imitation of Claire's voice. "Like, I like, don't think like. Like I know like. Like. Go away Barbie, you're ruining my peaceful lunch."

Claire snorted. "You better like, watch yourself Deetz."

Lydia lifted her book, hiding her face from the blond bimbo. Yeah, it was a little childish, but she really was done with the conversation. Claire glared at the novel for a moment before storming off with her groupies in tow.

Lydia smirked over the edge of her book, thoroughly enjoying the tantrum the Barbie was throwing as she stomped away. _Snarky little bitch…_

* * *

Jacques grimaced at the mirror, scratching the back of his skull as Lydia's image faded. Stubborn woman... It was nice, having her worry about them like that. But it was dangerous. To hers and his own health. She could be injured in crossfire. Betelgeuse could find out and kick the Frenchman's ass for letting the Goth come over.

Well… then he'd have to lie next time she called. He didn't doubt that the Powers That Be would rid the city of the worm within minutes of being called, but if by some chance the worm was still around by the time she called… well he'd just have to lie.

Jacques turned with a sigh, patting his hand against the coffin as he moved towards the door. "You sure can pick zem Be-a-tal-juice. Ze girl is one of a kind…" He chuckled.

The skeleton yawned as he entered the living room. This whole situation was ridiculous. And taxing. Researching these monsters was proving to be near impossible. So far, there were only dead ends and unreliable leads. There had been a single incident that he'd managed to dig up, from nearly a century before involving the woman. A small slaughtering of breathers in Russia that had been passed off as animal attacks. The succubus involved had matched the descriptions Nick had given them.

The information did nothing for them though. And then of course trying to trace these attacks, patrolling, watching Betelgeuse…

Jacques stretched, popping all of the joints in his arms before flopping onto the couch next to Ginger. "Monster and Monstress are watching ze 'orizon for now?"

The tiny spider nodded. "We're taking over at one."

"Zat is when Lydia is calling…"

"Why is she calling?"

"She is worried about ze worm. I'll just leave 'er a note on ze mirror."

"Ya know she'll come no matter what you say, right?"

"Oui." Jacques sighed. "'Opefully ze worm will be gone before zhen. Else Be-a-tal-juice will kill 'er. And zhen 'e will kill me."

Ginger laughed. "Not if he doesn't find out."

Jacques snorted. "Ze man is not smart, but it is as though 'e knows everything."

"Must come with being the number one, trouble-causing, pain in the ass."

Jacques laughed, glancing in the direction of the bedroom. "Oui. What are we watching?"

* * *

Set hovered about a hundred feet in the air, pointedly ignoring the irritating little scab giggling beside him as the worm made its way back into the city, tearing through the cartoonish buildings as it went.

"Oooh I can't wait till it finds the filth's lair! Gobble gobble gobble up all of the filth's little friendsies. Do you think it'll really find the portal too?"

Set sighed. "Big Brother does. He thinks it was made up of the filth and its master's power, and it'll have the same energy signal. That, or the flith's whore'll have her aura signature all over the place."

Loki chewed his thumb. "Blah blah blah. Hey look! There go more!" Loki giggled as another wave of troopers stormed the worm. "Stupid bastards!"

Set popped his neck, watching as the worm snapped its jaws around a ghost's arm, and ripped it clean off. "Hah, nearly bit that sucker in half."

"Bet?"

Set glared sideways at the goblin. "Like you got any dough."

"And if I did?"

Set contemplated that for a moment, glaring down at the group attacking the screeching worm. "Alright, fine. I got twenty on the worm finally snackin' one of 'em. That ballsy dude. With the horns."

"Twenty on the big scaly guy loosin' his head."

"Deal."

* * *

Lydia grumbled a few of her dear hubbie's choice swear words under her breath as she stalked from the locker room.

Tennis. What a stupid idea. Really.

Lydia wasn't even sure if she liked Tennis, but at the time it had seemed a smart way to get rid of one of the pesky athletic credits she needed for a degree since she could only use one arm to play. Or so she thought. Too bad it was too late to drop the class…

Lydia gripped her bag tightly as she hurried towards the parking lot. It was so nice having a car. She didn't have to wait for the rank bus, didn't have to deal with rude fellow passengers or the back fire escape window that rattled even louder than the engine.

Before her classmates even stepped off the sidewalk she was unlocking her door and sliding in behind the wheel.

The good thing about looking like a dork as you rush from class is that you don't have to fight anyone to get out of the parking lot. You don't have to sit for an hour as everyone slowly crawls out into traffic with no regard for anyone else. You can just slip right out onto the highway and zoom away.

Twenty minutes later, Lydia slid into her parking spot, checking around to make sure Bertha and Prudence's cars were gone. Their usual spots were empty, much to Lydia's relief. She grabbed her bag and sprinted up the small hill to the apartment and ducked inside, locking the door behind her.

In the safety and solitude of her bedroom, she spread out the poncho on the bed, and pulled the mirror from her bag. "Jacques?" There was no answer, no ripple of color across the glass. "Ginger?" Lydia frowned, tapping her knuckles against the glass. "Come on guys, where are you?" Finally, something faded into life on the screen. Lydia frowned at the piece of paper that was taped to the Neitherworld Mirror. "_Dear Lydia, had to switch patrols with Monster and Monstress. Back around nine tonight. Though I know you probably won't listen, PLEASE DO NOT come. Still too dangerous. We are all still fine. –Jacques._ Hah, right. Sorry Jacques, I have to be sure." She sighed.

* * *

Lydia dropped to the highway after crawling through the tiny door. "Ah, feels good to be back amongst the dead!" She joked, brushing off her poncho as she righted herself. Just in front of her was the Roadhouse in all its colorful, lopsided glory.

"Lydia!" The Goth jumped as the tiny pink spider scrambled up her side and onto her shoulder. "I told Jacques ya weren't going to listen to that note."

The Skeleton appeared by Lydia's other side, rolling his eyes. "Lydia, ami, I said zat we were fine."

Lydia smiled, turning her head to kiss the spider's cheek before she threw her arms around Jacque's neck. "Yeah… but I sorta like you guys so I can't help but worry. It's in my nature. And my classes are done for the day so I thought I would visit. Is it still not gone?"

"No." Ginger sighed.

"Ze Powers Zat Be…" Jacques hesitated, looking away from Lydia. "Well… zey want the worm to run its course."

Lydia frowned. "What do you mean?"

Ginger sighed. "They think that the 'gods' brought the worm here to search for something. They want the worm to find whatever it is, and see if these monsters show up."

"Bait and tackle." Lydia mumbled.

Jacques nodded, patting her on the back in an attempt to console her. "Seems zat way."

Lydia sighed, grimacing in the direction of the city. "Some all-powerful leaders. Do you mind if I go see Beej?"

"Is zat not why you came?"

Lydia smirked, holding her hand up for Ginger to crawl onto so she could pass the spider to Jacques. "Partially. Helping you guys out was the main reason though."

Jacques rolled his eyes. "You worry too much ami."

"Yeah Lydia. Nothin's gonna-"

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!_"

"_REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"_

* * *

**Oh burn. =P**

**What a cruel way to cut it off, buwhahaha.**

**=D**

**I've finally lost it.**

**Anyways, that _reeeeeeee_ was the best idea I had on how to make a screeching sound without just writing "Screeeeech".**

**RaversAnthem: **Thanks, I thought at least a few people might like to see Burp and Prune. They were two of my favorite minor characters. Percy was my favorite. xD. Anyway, don't fret! That's next chapter, and to answer your question: indeed. Especially when the Ghost with the Most is totally useless... .


	13. Everyone Plays Keep Away

"_RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!_"

The trio spun towards the screaming just as a massive, scaly body smashed through a hill in the road. Jacques yanked Lydia off the road and onto the path to Monster's House just as a car smashed into the ground where the Goth had been standing.

Lydia was frozen, horrified by the sight. Its thick body coiled around the highway, crushing the concrete. Terror rose like bile in her throat as Lydia backed away from the screaming beast until she made contact with something large and fury.

Monster's arms wrapped around her waist, lifting her into the air. "Hold on lil' miss, we're getting ya outta here."

Before the last word left his lips, the worm's head snapped in their direction and he screeched again, whipping its tail out at them. Lydia gasped in horror, wriggling out of the Monster's grip as the worm shot towards them, thick ropes of saliva hanging from its thousands of teeth.

Someone, Lydia wasn't sure who, grabbed her wrist and yanked her away from the Monster's house.

She was thrown to the ground just as a green blur invaded her peripheral vision, meeping furiously as it shot towards the worm.

Lydia watched, shocked as Doomie's body rippled, and suddenly he was a gigantic, purple, fuzzy, dog-like vehicular monster. Doomie ploughed into the side of the worm, digging his claws and fangs into the thick striped hide. The worm screamed in pain, curling its head around to knock its attacker away.

"DOOMIE!" Lydia pushed herself from the ground, tearing across the pavement towards the crushed car as the others attacked the worm, hitting it with wild, colorful crackles of energy.

The Goth collapsed beside the car's hood, rubbing a hand over the metal as it changed back to green. "Doomie! Doomie come on, get up! Doomie, look! A cat!" Ginger has said Doomie thought he was a dog, right? But the vehicle just meeped and his headlights blinked off.

Lydia stood, planning to jump into the car and somehow drive it away when something caught her around the throat.

"LYDIA!"

Lydia screamed and thrashed as she was lifted into the air by the end of her poncho. The material choked her as the worm pulled her away from the safety of the road, screaming with delight at its tasty snack. With a quick flip, he tossed the screaming, thrashing woman into the air, and opened its jaws wide.

"LYDIA!"

"HE-OOOF!"

Lydia was tackled around the middle just as her head passed the first row of razor sharp teeth.

"Don't worry Lydia! I've got you!"

In that moment, Lydia was distracted her terror. The only thing she could focus on was the thick mop of brown locks and the bright green eyes. "Nick!" She wrapped her arms around his neck as they fell towards the Roadhouse, the worm screeching in frustration.

Nick cradled Lydia against his chest as they crashed to the roof, rolling down the back slope as the others renewed their attacks now that Lydia was out of harm's way. He carried Lydia into the air bridal style, and jumped off the roof and onto the little edge behind the Roadhouse. "Lydia, what are you doing here?!"

Lydia swallowed, hard, and tightened her grip on the ghost, hooking her fingers into the back of his shir as he set her downt. "I came to help, to do something! I thought it was on the other side of the city!"

Nick pulled her to the corner of the house, peeking around as the worm screamed in pain. "We have to get you back to the door, come on!" Nick grabbed her wrist, pulling her along behind him as he sprinted towards the highway.

Lydia stared behind her as she ran, horrified by the sight of her friends being dwarfed by the massive striped body. If anything happened to them…

Again, for the… how many times had it been today? She felt herself knocked off her feet once more and thrown to the ground. She pulled her legs up to her chest, covering her head and neck with her arms as the worm screeched, convinced it was about to close around her, but the pain never came. Lydia pushed herself off the pavement, staring around as the worm screeched and thrashed behind her.

"I'll," _WHACK. _"Fucking," _WHACK. _"Kill,"_ WHACK. _"YOU!"

Betel's fist smashed into Nick's face once more, sending a spray of dark, congealed blood onto the pavement.

Nick snarled, bringing his fist up against Betel's chin. "I'm trying to save her, you idiot!"

Betel's hands wrapped around Nick's neck, ready to crush the afterlife out of him, but Lydia leapt forward and wrapped her arms around the poltergeist's waist. "Beej stop! He was trying to save me!"

Betel shoved the Goth off him, throwing Nick to the ground. "I know!" He spat. He dropped to one knee, holding Nick down as his fist smashed into the younger ghost's face again.

Lydia gasped, horrified as she grabbed Betel's arm and held it against her chest as he tried to hit Nick again. "Betelgeuse stop! We have bigger things to worry about!"

Betel snarled down at the furious, struggling man beneath him, trying to yank his arm free. "Get off!"

Lydia held all the tighter, trying to pull the poltergeist off Nick. "Beej! Please stop! Please! Let him go!" Nick's fist suddenly shot forward and caught Betel on the left cheek, effectively knocking the poltergeist off as the worm smashed into Monster's house. Betel rolled off the younger ghost, clutching his face as Lydia stepped between them. "STOP!" Both men leapt to their feet and towards one another, but Lydia slapped a hand against both of their chests, pushing them back apart. Agonizing, burning pain shot through her arm as her elbow straightened full out, nearly sending her to tears. "Stop it you idiots! There is a gigantic fucking alien worm about to kill us all!" She yelled. "You guys can settle things later, when we aren't in danger of becoming that thing's snack!"

Both sets of green burned with hatred for one another over Lydia's head, as both men imagined what they would do once Lydia was out of danger.

Before she even really registered what was happening, Nick turned his back to her, and Betelgeuse pulled her behind his back as their attention turned to the still screaming worm. "How do you kill one of these things?"

"Depends. I killed a few in my time but…" Betel shook his head. "Never one this big. He's chomped some powerful bastards…"

Nick snorted, glancing sideways at the poltergeist. "Jealous?"

Betel snarled. "Watch it punk, or I'll feed _you _to it."

"I'd like to see you-"

"Guys!"

"Right."

Betel lifted a hand to dig through his pockets, only to remember he was half undressed. "Shit… I got nothin'!"

Lydia watched in horror as the worm screeched its fury before diving towards its attackers, jaws aimed at the closest body. "JACQUES!"

The worm stopped, whipping its head around to find the new noise.

As though his skull was transparent, Lydia could see the cogs working through the worm's mind as its eyes narrowed on the suddenly frozen trio.

Only one though registered in her mind: Betelgeuse. Surely, even damaged and weakened as he was, the worm would still be able to taste his power and make the ghost his lunch? Cursing herself for drawing the worm's attention, she grabbed his wrist and yanked him away as hard as she could. "Come on!"

Betel pulled his arm from her hand in one quick movement just as Juno in all her ancient, miraculous glory,appeared, and shoved Lydia towards his old boss, spinning back to face the worm just as its thick scaly body crashed into the pavement beside him. "Get her ta the do-" Betel froze, shocked and confused as the worm shot past him.

Towards Juno and Lydia.

Lydia was gone from her frozen position on the pavement and reappeared by the still unconscious Doomie.

"Nick!" Juno shoved Lydia into her assistant's arms as he popped into existence beside them, pointing furiously towards the door. "Get her to the door, now!"

Nick nodded and ducked down to knock Lydia's knees out from under her, lifting the startled woman into the air as he tore across the pavement _behind _the worm, trying to stay out of sight as it turned its massive head in the direction of Juno's scent.

And then, it just kept turning. Lydia watched over Nick's shoulder, her face screwed up in horror and panic as she watched the beast's eyes zero in on her.

_It's after me…_ She kicked her legs, beating her shaking fists against Nicks chest as the worm screamed and gave chase once more. "Nick! Nick put me down! The worm is after me!"

"Don't be stu-" The pair were thrown into the air as the worm's tail smashed into the concrete in front of them, buckling the floating highway and sending them flying. Lydia felt herself fall free of Nick's arms as they crashed into the scaly body and fell to the pavement as the worm tried to maneuver its head around to gobble them.

Well… Lydia. Its eyes captured every movement, every pained grunt as she pushed herself up off the ground, cradling her arm against her chest as it gave another agonizing throb. The pain was enough to have her breath catching in her chest as she stumbled away, trying to draw the worm's attention to herself, and off the slumped, unmoving and probably tasty (to the worm) Nick.

There are two sides to every plan: the fortunate and unfortunate. Sometimes, one outweighs the other. Sometimes, they are equal. Sometimes, you can't decide. And sometimes, you just don't fucking care because a gigantic ghost-eating alien worm has just opened its mouth wide enough for you to count every single sharp, drooly tooth and is glaring down at you like you're some really tasty cherry pie.

Lydia ran as fast as she could towards the edge of the highway. The fog beneath the road led to Saturn, that was what Betelgeuse had told her.

Betelgeuse had escaped. He'd been eaten before he'd escaped.

Escape was possible. For ghosts.

_Please whatever gods there may be, please don't let me die._ She thought desperately as she stumbled towards the edge. The worm roared as its meal seemed to be escaping, and shot towards the dark little body.

Just as her toes reached over the edge of the road, she disappeared and was pulled through the void until she and Betel reformed on the path to the Roadhouse.

Before she could even actually turn to look at him, she knew something was wrong. His hands shook where they gripped her upper arms, and she felt him move sideways. He stumbled behind her drunkenly before his knees buckled and he collapsed against her back, losing his grip as he crashed to the ground. "Beej! Beej! Get up!" Lydia dropped to her knees beside him, hooking her hands under his armpits as she tried to lift him into a sitting position. "Beej! Beej please wake up! Come on, move! You stupid useless lump!" Lydia groaned, shoving hard against his back until she got him sitting up.

"_**RRRRRAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!"**_

"_Beej_! Get _up!" _Betel groaned, shaking his head as he tried to clear it and reaching around to grab the Goth.

Again, they slid through the void, ending up on the far end of the highway, right on the edge. "Shit… can't aim…" Betel shook his head again, trying to see through the fog in his eyes as the worm whipped its head through the air, screaming as it tried to locate them. "Where'd it go?"

Lydia gripped his arm, using her other hand to turn his head towards her. "Beej, Beej listen, its after me."

"Huh?"

Lydia swallowed. "I'm positive its after me. Come on, you have to get up!" Lydia shook his shoulders. "What's wrong?!"

"Over did it… okay." Betel let out a pained huff and grabbed her arms, using the anchorage to haul himself partway up. "Worm wants you, worm gets you. C'mon."

"Wh-"

Betel yanked her into the air, holding her tightly as he stuck the forefinger and thumb of his free hand into the corners of his lips, and let out a shrill whistle. The worm flung its head toward him and roared. "Come on ya ugly, scaly bastard!" He shouted, pulling Lydia in front of him and giving her a shake. "You want'er? Come get'er!"

The worm paused, just for a moment. The scents, the auras, the tastes, he was all discombobulated.

That tiny female smelled delicious though, and powerful, and the thing beside her, offering her up as meat smelled just as good…

They were nearly a mile down the road though, and there was already a group of tasty snacks crumpled around him.

It took less than a second for the worm to make up its mind. He screeched his defiance and shot towards the pair.

Trio.

Nick's fist connected with Betel's cheek, sending the poltergeist staggering sideways closer to the edge as Nick yanked Lydia away from him, ready to teleport them out of there.

Betel, by some miracle, recovered and managed to latch onto Lydia's wrist just in time. As he tried to right his balance, Nick brought his fist around again to crash into the poltergeist's temple. "GET OFF HER!"

Lydia yelped in pain as Nick yanked her behind him again, sending another agonizing throb up her arm. "Nick, leave him alone!"

Nick froze, and Betel took that chance to head-butt the smaller man in the stomach. Nick doubled over with a wheeze, glaring up at them as Lydia pulled herself free and wrapped an arm around Betel's waist to support him. "Lydia-"

"Nick," Lydia watched as the worm coiled around another section of the road, coming closer to them all the time. "Nick we don't have time for this! The worm is after me! You two have to get out-"

"Babes."

Lydia paused, turning her head to look up at him. His emerald irises burned into her dark chocolate ones. "What?"

"You trust me Babes?"

Lydia hesitated, and was very aware of Nick staring at her, horrified.

Betelgeuse... who had tried to force her to marry him so he could get Out. Betelgeuse, who had terrorized her dreams for years. Who had nearly killed her parents. Betelgeuse, who had then returned, and caused her hell just for the sake of causing hell. And Betelgeuse who had saved her, protected her, brought her to the Neitherworld for Eye Scream.

"I… I do."

Betel pulled her against them just as the stench of the worm's breath hit Lydia like a ton of bricks.

The next thing she knew, the worm was screaming with rage as it followed after them, and they were falling through the hot swirls of colored fog and through the invisible void to Saturn.

Lydia tightened her grip around Betelgeuse's neck, holding herself to him as they fell head-first through the clouds.

For another short moment, Lydia's terror was forgotten. She was _flying._

Lydia lifted her head, staring up (or down, really) at Betelgeuse as he stared right back at her, one of his trademark cocky smiles in place. "I gotcha Babes."

Lydia used her grip on his neck to pull herself closer to his face, and crushed her lips against his. "You better." Lydia turned her head as the bright, shining teeth of the sandworm inched closer to them every second as they fell.

"Hold on kid." Lydia wrapped her hand in the back of his shirt and buried her face in his chest as she felt the all-too familiar void swallow them, yanking the pair through the sweltering air of the alien planet as the worm crashed through the sand, defeated.

Lydia kept her eyes shut as they traveled through space and time, until they fell to the ground with a bone-bruising thump. Betel let out a pained huff of air as Lydia rolled off him, trying to push himself up off the rocky floor. "_Dam_mit_... Shit_-Fuck!… Meant… meant Roadhouse…"

Lydia watched helplessly as his eyes rolled back into his head before he slumped against the ground, unconscious.

Beyond the mouth of the cave, another sandworm screeched from what Lydia had no doubt was hunger.

* * *

**BETELGEUSE IS BACK!**

**And hoh snap, poor Nick. Or at least that's what he thinks. =\**

**Silly, selfish, about to get his ass kicked bastard.**

**Anyway... WHERE ARE YOU SPONGY, YELLOW, DELICIOUS BASTARDS??!! (I'm watching the end of Zombiland as I write this =P)**

**Next chapter is either going to be a blurb about his thoughts, or Beej and Lyda trying to escape Saturn. Haven't decided which one yet.**

**LoliPear: **I like Gryphon and Liam as names for boys. Melinda or Juniper for girl names. =| Anyway, thanks. I still like this chapter better. xD

**RaversAnthem: **What use are the powers that be, really? They bite. Anyway, no Lydia magic really, but BEEJ IS BACK! HOORAY!


	14. The Adventures In Sandworm Land pt1

**Well, both votes I received were for The Adventures In Sandworm Land, so here you go, enjoy!**

* * *

Lydia brought her knees up to her chest, staring blankly at the wall opposite her.

She'd pulled off her poncho and tucked it in around the poltergeist's unconscious form before taking a watchful seat by his head.

The cave he'd managed to send them to was small, but long. Lydia could barely stand without her head brushing the rocky ceiling, and if she held her arms out to her sides, she could press both of her palms against the walls and still have a bit of a bend in her arms.

Despite the horrifying claustrophobia and the screeching monsters just outside, Lydia felt safer here than she was sure she would feel in a bigger, cozier cave. She just couldn't see how one of the worms could slip through the narrow mouth of the cave, and if they did, they would have to be small or it would have to be with their mouths closed.

Lydia sighed, and flopped onto her side so her head was between Betel's chest and the wall. "How are we going to get out of here?" She sighed. Lydia closed her eyes and curled around the shaggy blond head. "Please wake up Beej… please. If a worm comes for us I can't protect you." Lydia opened her eyes, staring sadly at one of the intersections of the web on her poncho. "I'm not powerful like you Beej. The only 'powers' I seem to have are talking to dead people." To her disgust and horror, the corners of her eyes began to burn.

That bastard 'god' had no idea what he was talking about. She'd been lied to. He'd given her some sort of false hope in some long-term plot to take her down.

She had no powers… She was weak, she was useless.

She had a raging case of ghost envy right now.

Lydia curled around him just a smidge more, burying her face into his shoulder as overwhelming hopelessness washed over her again.

Everything was so screwed up. Why couldn't she just have a normal, simple life?

No… No she didn't even want that. She just wanted some peace. She wanted all her dead friends, she wanted to have a secret world to escape to whenever the living got her down.

She wanted her Betelgeuse.

But she wanted peace on top of that. She wanted to be able to hop in Doomie with Betelgeuse and ride down to _their _cliff, and watch the suns set without worrying about being attacked. She wanted to go to Ginger's dance recitals, and 'cheerlead' Jacques on in his weightlifting tournaments. She wanted to get to know Monster and Poopsie more, and go the Eye Scream Shoppe and go really meet Prince Vince.

She wanted Adam and Barbara. She needed them.

Without her ghostly godparents, she would have committed suicide long ago.

And… and she wanted Nick.

It was stupid. It made no sense. He had been… almost directly responsible for everything bad that had happened to her and Betelgeuse. She'd nearly been raped and killed because of him. If Matthews hadn't already had a plan in place, Nick had been going to kill her himself. He'd nearly sent Betelgeuse to the Lost Souls Room.

The only thing that had saved Betelgeuse was Lydia. There was no Nick involved in that.

Nick had only intervened when Lydia had been in trouble.

It took her this long to realize that she knew all that, and thinking it sent a horrible feeling from her toes to the crown of her head.

Her first human 'almost boyfriend.'

And she was scared of him. He was…

Possessive, no matter how he tried to deny it.

He'd tried to convince the 'gods' to let him keep her, just as Maui had. He'd only broken the spell, and sacrificed himself when she was in danger. He'd practically broken into the Roadhouse and forced Jacques to contact her, only to take her out on a 'date' where he'd tried to convince her into some sort of relationship.

He'd put himself, and her and Beej in danger because he wanted to be the one to save her, and to get Betelgeuse out of the picture.

Lydia shuddered.

Beej wasn't much better though.

Nick just seemed… more intense.

Scary.

At least she could hold her own against Betelgeuse. She was sure that was only because he was on short leashes all around, but she would take what she could get.

Nick though… his sudden rage the other day on the beach had very nearly thrown her. And there was no one controlling him.

Scary.

Lydia sighed again, biting the inside of her cheek.

She loved him. Why, she didn't know. It was completely illogical. And yet… she did. Why was that? Because he was the first (living) man besides Adam and her dad, and maybe a few childhood acquaintances that treated her like a human being. His ulterior motives be damned.

She'd felt special for those few weeks that he'd been hers. She still felt special, treasured under his gaze. Only now did she realize that it was a dangerous thing.

Who was more dangerous though? Him or Beej?

Lydia groaned and covered her head.

She hated thinking about this. Every time she did, her head raged with a screaming throb, a painful enough attack to make her want to cry.

She loved them both.

She knew one of them was going to kill her. Maybe not by their own hands.

But her death would be their doing.

"Kill him… kill that… can't touch her…" Betel frowned in his sleep, and rolled his head to the side, towards her as he slept.

Lydia frowned back, lifting a hand to push a strand of his wild hair out of his eyes. "You're not awake… are you?" The poltergeist was silent. "Didn't think so…" Lydia sighed, and exhaled in one big, swift breath before she pushed herself up and maneuvered her body around until she was lounging beside him. "You finally find the energy to get out of that coffin… Now we both might be worm chow." Lydia leaned over him, and brushed her lips across his. "Wake up dammit." Still, he was silent. Lydia rolled over onto her other hip, and braced both hands on either side of his head. "Wake _up_!" She leaned down, and kissed the corner of his lips.

Betel shuddered and frowned, but that was all.

Lydia choked back a sob, dropping her forehead until it hit his. "Beej… you're killing me here… Please just open your eyes. Please."

That was when she finally felt it. It wasn't much, just a subtle vibration through the air, a slight heat rolling off his entire body. And finally, Beej groaned again and slowly, his eyes blinked open.

Lydia gasped, staring down at the bright, electric blue irises. "B… Beej…"

Betel blinked and his eyes were back to a fiery emerald. "Wha… where…?" Lydia swallowed, leaning away as the poltergeist pushed himself up, cradling his head in his hands. "Ugh… headache…"

Lydia swallowed again, bracing a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Betel rolled his eyes. "No'm not alright… feel like shit."

"Betelgeuse…"

"Huh?"

"Beej… your eyes…"

Betel frowned, lifting a hand to the corner of one eye. "What about'em?"

"They were just blue."

"What?"

Lydia frowned now, leaning closer as she examined his eyes. "Just now, when you woke up. Electric freakin' blue."

"You lie…"

"No I don't! They were blue!"

Betel frowned, touching the corner of his eyes again. "You sure?"

"Positive."

Betel blinked a few times, before he rolled his eyes. "Well they ain't know, are they?"

"No."

"Then don't worry 'bout it. How long I been out?"

Lydia shrugged. "I didn't exactly have the presence of mind to check your watch while I worried about what I would do if a worm came."

"Cower in the corner and cry like a normal breather for once?"

Lydia put a hand on his shoulder again, and tried to push him back to the floor. "Doubtful. Maybe you should lie back down. Just in case… You used a lot of energy…"

"Aww, always knew ya cared." He shrugged her shoulder off suddenly, frowning. "Hold on, 'fore I gorget again… I gotta bone ta pick with you."

Lydia's eyes widened in surprise, and she sat back on her butt as he popped his neck. "…Why? What did I do now?"

The ghost fixed her with an irritated look. "You really have no idea?"

Lydia's eyes narrowed dangerously as a few possible ideas threaded their way into her mind. With Betelgeuse though, you could never be sure. "Enlighten me."

"Tch." Betel stared at her coldly, his eyes burning. "Well, since we have some free time on our hands, and I doubt those pants are comin' off-"

"Oh piss off!"

"-I'd sorta like ta know how ya could be so stupid."

Lydia's mouth popped open to form a perfect 'o' as the air was figuratively knocked out of her. "_What_?"

"I got ears Lyds. And there were times when I was awake."

"Just what the hell are you talking about Betelgeuse?" She snapped. "Either tell me straight or shut up."

Betel growled, deep in his throat as he glared at her. "That Nick kid." He smirked with satisfaction at her suddenly shocked, guilty expression. "Are ya really that stupid?"

"You… you…"

"I thought ya were the smart one?" He snapped. "You realize ya almost died, twice, because'a that fucker?"

"Shut up!"

"No, I been waitin' weeks ta say this ta ya, and I only let it go last time cause ya were freakin' out." Betel winced, pressing a hand to his side. "You realize that little spit-fuck's the cause of all this shit?"

Lydia closed her eyes, gritting her teeth as she tried to process the fact that here he was, after having just woken up, while they were on Saturn.

And he was yelling at her.

"Yes, Beej, I do."

"AND YOU _STILL _WANT TO PLAY 'HAPPY COUPLE' WITH HIM?!?"

Lydia glared at the ghost with cold, hard eyes. "Who I choose to hang out with is _NONE_ of your concern!"

"THE _HELL _IT AIN'T! We gotta a deal, remember?"

Lydia stood in a quick, jerky movement and turned to stomp to the mouth of the cave. "I can't believe I just spent this long fighting for you. You know what?" She turned to the still furious ghost. "Go to hell."

Lydia kicked the sand out of her way, and flopped down onto her butt, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. That stupid bastard! The first things out of his mouth in months had to be something that made all the defenses she'd allowed to fall for him rise back into place.

Bastard.

* * *

Lydia lost track of time as she sat there, fuming. It could have been seconds, it could have been hours before the sky suddenly began to grow dark, and the temperature began to drop. Lydia shivered, glaring out across the sand as she curled tighter around her knees, wishing she'd grabbed her poncho back from Beej. Half of her wanted to go back into the tunnel and grab it, but the other half believed she would be losing something if she caved.

As the desert rock turned away from the sun, and the temperature fell below freezing, Lydia's expression softened. Even with the screeching of the hungry worms, and the biting cold, and the winds throwing sand in front of her eyes, Saturn was beautiful. And peaceful.

Despite the fact that Death could come knocking at any moment, Lydia felt herself slowly relax.

Until she heard the padding of unsteady, bare feet crossing the floor towards her.

"Here." Lydia blinked, startled as the poncho was suddenly tugged over her head before Betelgeuse flopped down beside her, staring out across the sand. "Just cause yer pissed a me don't mean ya gotta freeze yourself."

"Aren't you cold?"

"Dead."

"Right."

A worm screeched somewhere close by, and Lydia reluctantly felt herself jump closer to the poltergeist. Betel smirked, but decided not to push his luck. "Don't worry, they ain't comin'. They just like ta make noise sometimes."

Lydia gulped, pulling the poncho tighter around her. "Yeah, and every other time is because they're hungry. Can't you juice us out of here?"

Betel grimaced, turning his head to stare out across the sands. "And risk makin' it only half way up before I zonk again? Or juice us right ta the belly of a worm? Nah. Daylight comes, we'll go see if we can find a door." The ghost groaned as he stretched and lay back on the stone. "'Till then, ya might s'well get some sleep."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Oh grow up."

Lydia glared down at him, but as he'd closed his eyes already, he didn't see it. "Why can't you and Nick just… pretend for my sake?" Betel opened one eye, staring blankly at her as he waited for the rest of the lecture. Lydia sighed. "I care about you both. I don't want to give either of you up." Lydia turned her head away from him as her cheeks burned with embarrassment. "I don't care if you hate each other or not. I just…" Lydia sighed. "I don't want to be the rope in your tug-o-war anymore."

Betel frowned, both eyes open now as he watched her shiver in the cold of the alien night. "Babes…"

"Hmm?"

"That ain't gonna happen, ya know that right? I owe that di-… kid. Fer nearly gettin' ya killed and nearly gettin' me exorcised. And crashin' my pad." Betel hauled himself up into a sitting position, and slipped his arm around her tiny waist, dragging the reluctant woman closer. "I ain't sorry for what I said."

Lydia dropped her head to his shoulder, glaring out at the desert. "Yeah… I know. And I know it's stupid." She closed her eyes against the sudden feeling of exhaustion that rolled over her. "But so is caring about you, after everything you did."

Betelgeuse grimaced. "I guess." Something wriggled its way free in his mind, and he gave her shoulder a short shake. "Hey, Babes?"

"Hmm?"

"What didja mean, earlier?" He asked. "Fightin' fer me?"

"Oh…" Lydia shifted uncomfortably beside him. "I had to go to the courts with Juno, and had to fight Judge Mental. He didn't want to help you, and he was going to let you be exorcised. So I… I told them. About everything, and that I… I wanted you back. And then Nick was being an ass, and I had to tell Adam and Barbara about you, and they were going to run off to Juno and demand she do something…" Lydia turned her face into his shoulder, closing her eyes. "I don't _want _to be separated from you, despite the fact that you're constantly driving me closer to the brink of insanity."

Betel grimaced again, and lifted his arm to wrap around her shoulders. "Er…"

"No, don't say anything." She glanced up at him. "You'll just ruin it."

Betel laughed. "Probably."

A ridged back suddenly popped up out of the sand, not thirty feet away. Lydia gasped, terrified, and tried to backpedal away from the mouth of the cave but Betel held her tight, pulling the wriggling Goth into his lap. "Woah, sheesh Babes, getta grip. It's too big ta get in here. Don't freak."

Lydia shuddered, trying to pry his fingers open where they held onto her waist. "As much as I'd love to believe that, I don't! Leggo!"

Betel rolled his eyes but let her go, watching with a grin as she scrambled to the back of the cave, curling into a frightened little ball in the corner. "Chicken."

"Bite me."

Betel's smirked widened, and in a flash he had rolled into a half-crouched position and was looming over her. "Wanna rephrase that?"

Lydia squeaked and ducked out from under him. "Jerk!"

Betel chuckled. "You know Babes… we got time…"

Lydia stared at him, trying to quash the horror that bubbled in her gut. "We're surrounded by monsters and all you can think about is sex?"

"Why not?"

Lydia felt her face burn, and hid it in her hands. "You're sick."

"You made the deal, not me."

"I hate you."

"Oh chill out kid. I ain't serious." Lydia peeked out between her fingers as he stretched out against the side of the cave. "M'beat anyway."

Lydia shifted slightly, dropping her chin onto her knees as she watched him settle against the stone. "Sorry…"

"Huh?"

Lydia sighed. "I don't hate you."

"Aww gee thanks Lyds, ya know that just means so much ta me."

"Oh… shut up."

Betel laughed and pat the bit of ground next to him. "C'mon Babes, yer gonna freeze, even with that hot little-"

"Shut it."

* * *

**I enjoyed writing that chapter.**

**But I think Beej may be slightly OOC. I had him pull that bit about Nick up so soon because I thought, with him being the king of one-track minds, and having already wanted to yell at her for it, he would the very first chance he got.**

**I still like this chapter, a lot. Next chapter might be the Nick one, or it might be the actual looking for an escape. Again, I haven't decided.**

**RaversAnthem:** Lol, I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. I'm not so great at action scenes, but I thought it went pretty well. I'm glad I could give it enough 'epicness'. And don't worry, there shall be more kissing, this I swear! I'm glad to hear I could help be an inspiration, and when you put up the first chapter I shall be sure to go read it and tell you of its awesomeness.

**LoliPear:** Which movie? Zombieland? Yes, yes you must. Zombieland is on my Top 10 Best Flicks list, and Tallahassee is an effing god. I like Little Rock too: She kicks serious ass for a 12-year-old. I never knew she was supposed to be Asian, I though her friend with the glasses was… And I never liked JLAD that much. They screwed up a lot concerning certain myths and creatures, and it sort of annoyed me at the time, but now I've forgotten really the specific things that they messed up, lol.

**Kur7Kagnluv:** Who doesn't love Betelgeuse? Silly people, that's who. And the majority of this generation. Seriously. 90% of today's kids and teens need to seriously be educated on real TV and real cinema, and stop watching all of this dribble they put on nowadays =o.

**Ceysna:** I have a worshipper? Sweet! Lol, thanks, and I'm glad you enjoy it so much. *stares at popcorn* Damn. Now I'm hungry! Jk.


	15. The Adventures In Sandworm Land pt2

**I.**

**Am.**

**SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.**

**Sorry.**

* * *

Lydia groaned, pulling her poncho up over her eyes as the wind switched directions and threw a gust of hot air and sand into the cave. As the wind died, Lydia uncovered her eyes and blinked slowly as she tried to regain her bearings.

Oh. Yeah.

She turned her head sideways a bit, tracing the stitching patter on the hem of Betel's shirt. She'd fallen asleep on his chest, too uncomfortable because of the lack of pillow and mattress to be bothered by his heavy scent and loud snoring.

And… it really wasn't all that bad, this arrangement. She was comfortable at least, and reluctant to disturb that comfort. But all too suddenly, his snores grumbled to a halt, and he yawned, stretching his arms out above his head and arching his back.

Lydia sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as Betel mimicked the movement and lifted his arm to check his many watches. "We should probably get goin' Lyds."

Lydia bit her lip, staring out into the desert as another hungry screech pierced the air. "How are we going to find a door?"

"By walkin' and hopin' Lyds. S'bout all ya can do. Don't worry." He lifted his left hand, and flexed his fingers a few times. "I'm feelin' great. Feelin' that good ol' juice comin' back ta me." He suddenly smirked, and his hair grew long and black. "Babes, I got you Babes."

Lydia socked his shoulder as his appearance returned to normal and stood, pulling the poncho over her shoulders and dusting sand from her knees. "You're such a freak." She laughed.

"The freakiest."

Lydia held out a hand to help him up, though she didn't expect it to really work. He was just so… _built._ But he shocked her by bouncing almost immediately up.

Confused, Lydia finally took a good long look at him, from head to toe. She hadn't paid much attention when she'd found herself in his coffin, or the previous day with that worm trying to kill them. But now, as she looked, she realized just how much he'd changed since May.

His body had practically eaten itself, and Lydia wondered if that was because of hunger, or the loss of power. Surely hunger wouldn't affect a ghost all that much? But his ribs were beginning to poke out in his sides, and his stomach had lost almost all of its roundness. His pants were only held up by his belt, which she had no doubt he'd just thrown on when he'd woken up to the sounds of the worm, since it wasn't even tucked into the belt loops. His shirt hung off his shoulders, and still he hadn't buttoned it up. His hair was longer, not much but enough to be noticeable, and his cheeks had a sunken look to them.

Betel noticed her scrutiny, and leered across the cave at her. "See somethin' ya like Babes?"

"You… you're all… skinny."

Betel laughed, glancing down at himself. "Yeah, I guess. That turn you on?"

Lydia grimaced and shook her head. "Truth be told… I sort of miss your old look." Betel let out a wild roar of laughter, which made Lydia roll her eyes. "Shut up you stupid Hyena, I just mean… you don't look like you anymore. You look… unhealthy."

Betel smirked. "Dead, remember? C'mon kiddo." He started towards the mouth of the cave, adjusting his cuffs as he went. "Ready?"

Lydia followed him, biting her lip as she peeked out around the edge of the stone. "No, not really. But we have no choice. Which way are we going?"

Betel stepped cautiously out onto the sand, one ear peeled for the tell-tale signs of an approaching worm. "Uh… straight? It doesn't really matter. C'mon."

Lydia followed him out onto the sand, jogging to catch up as he headed towards the horizon, his head turning from side to side as he scanned the sands. "Beej?"

"Yeah?"

Lydia swallowed, glancing behind her as the winds howled through the sand. "What if we can't find a way out?"

Betel snorted, glancing sideways at her. "There's always a way for the Ghost with the Most, Lyds. Dontcha trust me?"

The Goth laughed. "Not half as far as I can throw you." She slipped her hand into his, joining him in his search of the sands for any door or stripped body.

Betel's eyes widened and he stared down at her hand for a moment, surprised. "Scared Babes?" Lydia blushed and tried to pull her hand away, but his fingers closed around hers, and held her by his side. "I toldja I got ya."

Lydia grimaced up at him. "Wish I could say the same…"

Betel frowned. "Waddaya mean?"

Lydia sighed, glancing sideways as something screeched far off in the dunes. "You're the one with the magic. I got nothing. That… That Ahriman guy…" Lydia grimaced. "He said 'I wonder if you even realize the extent of your powers'… I don't have any powers Beej." She sighed again. "I'm… useless."

Beej squeezed her hand. "Ya ain't useless." He leered sideways at her, unable to resist. "Soon as all this shit blows over, I still gotta ticket outta this hell. After that, _then _ya'll be useless."

Lydia elbowed him in the ribs, which only served to make him cackle. "You butt-head."

Betelgeuse only laughed harder, unable to stop himself as they stumbled over another dune. "I can't remember the last time someone called me that…"

"Well you are."

Betel rolled his eyes, helping her up the sand dune as she slipped. "Sure Babes." He cupped a hand around his eyes, trying to see farther across the sand. "See anything?"

Lydia shook her head, leaning back slightly as she slid down the side of the dune. "Hey Beej?"

"What?"

"How do we find one anyway? Surely there aren't just… doors open all the time."

"Uh…" Betel paused, pulling her behind one of the looping, twisting purple rock formations as a worm slithered across the sand a few hundred feet away. "It's sorta hard ta explain Babes. It's different fer each case. Basically any door leadin' outta the floater's parameters leads ta Saturn and back, and usually the floater can only find their own door." Betel grimaced, pulling her from behind the formation as the striped tail finally disappeared. "Course, there have been times when that gets thrown: floaters find another door, their parameters are broken and their free ta fly wherever their dead little hearts please. And every once in a while, a door pops up randomly in the sand though."

"You… know all this from experience?"

"A-yup. Been thrown ta these scaly bastards once'er twice in my time."

Lydia frowned thoughtfully for a moment, weighing her words carefully. "Beej… how old are you?"

"Real old."

"I mean like… how… long did you live?"

"I dunno, time wasn't measured the same way back then kid."

"Guess."

"Er… lessee…" His brows knit together as he dug up the memories, trying to pain an accurate timeline. "I dunno… maybe mid thirties, earlier fourties at the most. Which back then was like… someone nowadays livin' ta be over a hundred."

"Wow."

"Yeah. The 'rents beat me though."

Lydia blinked, surprised. She'd never heard about Beej's family before. "When did they…?"

"Pft, they died way after I did. I dunno how though… never asked'em. They got way up there.

"Wow."

"Yeah." Betel suddenly smirked sideways at her. "What's with the sudden interest?"

"Just wondering."

"Gotta thing fer older guys?"

"Oh, yeah. Yes, totally." Lydia rolled her eyes. "I dig you Beej, in all your ancient glo- Look!"

Betel's head whipped in the direction she was pointing, and his face suddenly lit up. Just sixty, maybe seventy yards away was a freaking door! He tightened his grip on her hand, yanking her up the dune as the wind howled around them. "Whoo! Door-ho!"

Lydia scrambled across the sand beside him, grinning wildly as the door grew closer and closer all the time.

"_REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"_

"_RAAAAAAAHHHHHRRRRRR!"_

A body thicker than a semi-truck suddenly exploded from the sand, sending the poltergeist and the Goth in opposite directions and throwing a tsunami of sand down the dune.

Lydia gasped in shock and pain as her left arm crumpled beneath her, making her elbow scream in protest. Instinctively she threw her arms up over her head and let her body roll down the slope as the wave of sand crashed down on her, washing her _away _from her only escape.

On the opposite side of the worm, Betel swore in every language he knew, jumping to his feet as the smaller sandworm snapped at him before diving below the sand to do god knows what.

The v_ery _pissed off and familiar larger sandworm just screamed at him.

Betel cringed, taking a step back as the monster loomed over him. "Hey, how ya doin'? Ya look great, by the way. All big'n shin-"

"_RAAAAAAAAAAHR__!"_

"Right! Well I'll just be grabbin' my woman and-"

_"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEHH!"_

Betel dove to the side just as the razor-sharp jaws chomped down on the spit of sand he'd been standing on a moment before. The poltergeist kept close to the worm's body, and out of its line of sight as he stumbled over the sand in search of the pale figure. "Lyds!"

Lydia gasped for air as she finally found her way to the surface, clawing her way free of the sand as it rolled off the worm's body. Something caught around her throat and she found herself being ripped backwards as the worm's tail sliced through the air just inches from her face.

Betelgeuse didn't give her time to catch her breath as he yanked her down the dune in the direction of the lone white door still too far away.

The worm howled its fury, swinging its head in the direction of the door.

His meal was trying to escape. It howled once more before diving beneath the sand behind the fleeing pair.

Betelgeuse pulled Lydia around, throwing his arms around her as the ground beneath their feet rumbled, and juiced them closer to the door as the sandy surface exploded once again and the striped monster threw itself at the pair.

Betel wrapped both hands around the Goth's waist, throwing her into the air as they reached the door.

The worm screamed.

Lydia's hands closed around the doorknob, and jerked it to the side.

The worm dove towards the poltergeist as he shoved Lydia up through the door.

Lydia wrapped her hands around Betel's collar, yanking him up into the portal as the worm's teeth grazed the air where Betel's leg had just been.

The worm screamed in defeat as Betel somersaulted backwards through the door just as Lydia slammed it shut.

The pair tumbled back into the mops and brooms, gasping as they fought to catch their breath.

Betel chuckled weakly, rolling onto his stomach so he could push himself up. "Sandworms: ya know I hate'em. You good Babes?"

Lydia grimaced, cradling her elbow as it gave another painful throb. "If this keeps up, I think my arm might fall off."

Betel slipped his hand around her left wrist, pulling the arm just enough to bring it away from her chest so he could cup his other hand around her elbow. "How bad is it?"

Lydia winced. "I can't even straighten it out; I still have to wear a sling most of the time." She bit her lip as he probed the dent in her elbow with his thumb. "And it just keeps getting worse. It was completely shattered in the crypt."

Betel frowned hard as he concentrated, rubbing his thumb in slow circles on the side of her elbow. His hand slid up her arm and he hooked his pointer finger in the top of her glove, dragging the black material down her arm. His eyes widened in shock as the bright, shining burn scars warping her skin. "Babes…"

Lydia pulled her arm away, snatching the glove back from him as she hid her face. "It's only my elbow that hurts now." The Goth cringed as she pulled the glove back into place, still avoiding the poltergeist's eyes. "I just… don't want to have to remember whatever lie I made up when someone sees them…"

"Lyds-"

"We should probably get out of here." Lydia cut him off, reaching up to hold onto the counter as she stood. "I doubt whoever lives here will be real pleased with a pair of weirdos like us suddenly popping up in their… their…" Lydia gasped, staring around the very familiar room as Betel's moth popped open in shock.

"Oh shit."

Lydia spun around, pulling Betel up by the material covering his shoulders. "Get us out of he-"

"Lydia!"

In a very irritating (and frightening) moment of déjà vu, Lydia felt herself yanked off her feet just as Betelgeuse yelped in pain or shock, Lydia was unsure.

Adam pushed the Goth behind him as Barbara pointed a smoking, threatening finger at Betelgeuse as he doubled over in pain. "How dare you put your hands on her you monster!"

Adam pulled Lydia forward, pushing the weakly protesting woman into Barbara's arms as he advanced on Betelgeuse, grabbing the poltergeist's collar and attempting to drag him back towards the door. "Get out of here!" Adam ripped the door open, shoving Betel towards it.

Betel yelped again, planting his hands and feet on the doorway as Adam threw his entire weight against Betel's back, trying to shove him back out into the sand. "What the fuck did I do?!?" Betel shoved back against Adam, pulling one hand off the frame to snap his fingers.

Lydia suddenly found herself on the other side of the room, her arms pinned to her sides as Betelgeuse cowered behind her, glaring past her ear as the ghostly couple started towards them. Lydia shrugged Betelgeuse off, and held up her hands. "Stop! Barbara, Adam it's okay! He wasn't doing anything!"

Adam reached forward; trying to grab Lydia's wrist but Betelgeuse beat him to it and pulled Lydia's hands back to her sides. Adam snarled, and Barbara shot a look of pure hatred and disgust over Lydia's shoulders. "You coward! Hiding behind her like a child! Let go of her this instant!"

Betel snorted. "And get fed ta another fuckin' sandworm? Yeah right Babs. Why don't you just go fu-"

"Betelgeuse!" Lydia elbowed him in the ribs before turning to grimace apologetically at her godparents. "You guys, seriously! He just… just saved my life. Again." Barbara and Adam stared at her, startled by this news.

"He…?"

Betel pulled Lydia back as she tried to walk towards the ghostly couple, still glaring daggers at Barbara. "Yeah. Saved her. S-A-V-E-D'ed her. Again. That's like… like a lotta times now. So back up."

Barbara's eyes narrowed at the cowering poltergeist. "Get your hands off her."

"Not 'till I know I'm safe."

Lydia let out an exasperated groan, spinning around fast enough to dislodge herself from his grasp. She wrapped her hands around his collar, pulling him upright. "Don't worry, you big baby. I won't let the big bad godparents hurt you. Quit tracking sand over Delia's tile." Betelgeuse scowled at her as she spun to face the shocked Maitlands once more. "What is today?"

Barbara blinked, startled by the abrupt subject change. "October third… why?"

Lydia groaned, glancing sideways as Betel pressed himself up against the wall, snarling at Barbara. "She's not going to bite you Beej. I need you to take me back to my dorm. I've been gone a whole freaking week and I-"

"Wait a minute young lady!" Betelgeuse let out a strange, startled sound and ducked away from the wall as Adam finally caught Lydia's shoulder, wheeling her around to face them. "What the heck is going on?!"

Lydia sighed, leaning up on her tip-toes to peck his cheek. "Honestly, Adam?" She asked. When her godfather only nodded, she sighed again. "Honestly, I'm trying to figure this all out myself. Long story short, Beej and I just spent the past week on Saturn apparently, being chased by a very large, very pissed off sandworm."

"Tch." The other three occupants of the kitchen turned to stare at Betel as he shoved his hands into his pockets, glaring at Lydia. "Well if ya weren't so fuckin' s_tupid _Lydia… comin' ta the Neitherworld when you knew it was loose…"

"Watch your mouth!" Barbara snapped her fingers and a loud POP filled the room.

Betel's eyes bulged out of his head as his mouth, throat and nose were suddenly filled with bright pink suds. The poltergeist gagged, doubling over as he heaved up the soapy concoction. Lydia gasped, taking a concerned step towards him. "Barbara stop!"

Betel gagged again, straightening up as yet more soap poured from his mouth. Barbara snarled at him before shifting her eyes to Lydia. "He has no right-"

"Oh Barbara! I _was _being stupid!" Lydia snatched a dishtowel off the rack by the sink, handing it to the gagging poltergeist. "I wanted to help Jacques and Ginger-"

"Who?"

Lydia sighed. "I told you about them: they're Beej's roommates. Ginger called me and told me the 'gods' set a giant sandworm loose, and I wanted to help. But seriously, we have to go before dad and Delia find us." Lydia stood on her tiptoes again, planting a quick peck on each of their cheeks before she crossed to Betelgeuse and grabbed his hand. "I _swear _I will tell you both everything ASAP. I love you guys, see you soon. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice!"

* * *

Bah, so short.

Sorry it took so long… I don't really have an excuse…

Yeesh, you guys really hate Nick! *sweatdrop* I'm almost afraid to unveil the rest of the plot… you guys are all so ready to destroy him! *hands Nick a set of police riot gear*

**Me:** You better run and hide Nick!

**Nick:** … Why?

**Me:** Have you read the skeletons for the rest of this story?

**Nick:** *re-reads* …Oh… yeah… Shit…

**Me:** Yeah. I suggest Canada. Or Ireland.

**Betelgeuse:** Ireland? WTF?

**Lydia:** Ireland is pretty… I want to go there someday…

**Nick:** *sneaks out of the room quietly*

**Betelgeuse:** *stares contemplatively at Lydia* WTF?!?! Why Ireland?!

**Me:** Anyway, I have to go make food now, because I am hungry.

**RaversAnthem:** Thanks, I enjoyed writing it. The things that were said needed to be said out loud finally. And don't worry about the ass kicking: the confrontation is coming up soon. And another part of the Nathon/Tobias parallel is coming about the same time. I… _think _I have sufficiently written something that will surprise everyone in the end...

**Ceysna:** Aww, but then there would be no need for the evil little scab. Oh, don't worry about her powers. We has lotsa story left. *gasps* Butterfingers? Popcorn has the butterfingers?! *accepts offer* Great. Now I'm hungry…-ier.

**BlackRose-FlowerofDeath:** Hopefully you won't have to wait long for the rest. Um… Heh. Well, let's just wait and see. –gives Nick a good hard shove towards the escape hatch-


	16. Everyone Wants To Make Everyone Else Pay

Nick. Hated. Betelgeuse.

No, correction:

He hated that _thing. _That vermin, scum-sucking piece of shit that had staked a claim in Nick's midnight rose.

That thing had no right to touch that beautiful, ivory-skinned goddess. Lydia had as much as admitted it herself: Betelgeuse thought of her as only a possession.

She wasn't a possession to Nick. She was a treasure.

And a traitor.

Nick watched in horror and hurt betrayal as she pulled the reeking poltergeist away from the scene. Of course she saved _it _first.

And then, when Nick had tried to save her from _it, _as _it _offered her up like meat to the worm, she'd ignored him and pledged her trust to the monster.

Traitorous brat.

Nick clenched and unclenched his hands as they disappeared through the fog, the worm following close after.

Nick waited, vaguely aware of Juno shouting orders in the background.

And he waited.

And waited.

And it turned dark.

And still he waited.

Something soft finally slid over Nick's shoulders, pulling him into a gentle hug. "Don't worry Domo, I'm sure she's fine." Alexis reassured him. "Geuse just finally woke up, I'm sure he's just recharging."

"I don't fucking care about him."

Alexis sighed, shaking her brother slightly. "She'll be fine Domo. Come on, Juno needs our help. Apparently they caught one of the 'gods'."

Nick blinked, finally tearing his eyes away from the fog to focus on his sister. "Really?! Which one?!"

Alexis shrugged. "He won't talk, or maybe he can't. Juno wants you to talk to him."

Nick sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets as Alexis snapped her fingers, sending them through the void.

They arrived in one of the many aisles between the hundreds of desks in a whirlwind of files. One or two rickety skeletons glanced up, instantly losing interest before dropping their eye sockets to their work once more.

Nick crossed his eyes at them in irritation as Alexis dragged him down the aisle to the storage rooms. At the very end of the hall was a heavy, ancient wooden door with a skeleton in police riot gear standing guard on either side. They nodded at Alexis as she approached them, and the left guard tapped his baton against the door.

The second the hunk of wood threw itself open, the creature restrained inside let out a blood-curdling screech and lunged forward.

Nick smirked down at the wild creature before him, instantly recognizing the insane man as he howled and pulled at the heavy, enchanted chains tying him down. "Loki."

* * *

Betelgeuse hissed as they popped into existence in his living room, stumbling against Lydia. "Dammit."

Lydia repositioned her arms around his waist, dragging on of his own over her shoulder as she helped him to the couch. "Maybe you should stay here, while I go back…"

Betelgeuse snorted, twisting his hand in the back of her poncho. "Yeah, right kid. Ya get in way to much trouble when I ain't around." He flopped back onto the couch, pulling her down beside him with a grunt. "'Sides, what's one more day?"

"One more day of work that I have to make up." Despite her burning desire to return home, Lydia settled more comfortably next to him on the couch before leaning down to tug off one of her boots. She turned it over with a grimace, watching as bright yellow sand poured onto the warped wood beneath her feet. "Gross." She shook her head, pulling off the other boot and repeating the process. "How are you feeling?"

Betel snorted again, hacking up another mouthful of soap as he scrubbed his tongue with his arm. "I wish ya'd stop askin' me that."

Lydia cocked a brow at him, settling back into the couch and tucking her legs up under her butt. "It's in my nature. You sure look a lot better though…"

Betel held up his hand, examining it slowly. "I feel a lot better too. I ain't a hundred percent, don't even think I'm half there." He flexed his fingers, grinning. "But I can feel it." His grin turned devious as he popped his knuckles. "First thing I'm gonna do is tear that one fucker apart… then I'll murder Ahriman… And, sorry Babes, but Babs and yer little boyfriend are right under Ahriman on that list."

Lydia frowned, curling into his side as his hand automatically came to a rest on her knee as she ignored the end of the threat. "Which fucker?"

Betel suddenly froze, turning to stare down at her. He was silent for a moment, simply watching her as though he expected Lydia to read his mind. As first one, then two, three, twenty seconds ticked by, he lifted a hand and placed it over her chest.

The puncture scars and the burned imprint of the ghost's hand suddenly grew heated under his touch, and Lydia felt a surge of fearful déjà vu trickle through her. "The one that did that. No one touches my Babes."

Lydia shivered, pressing a hand over his. "Maui." Lydia closed her eyes, snuggling against him as he shifted his arm over her shoulders. "I can still hear him… still feel him…" Her arm found its way over his stomach as she cringed into his side. "I couldn't even tell the Maitlands about it…"

Lydia felt his hand wrap around her wrist, lifting her arm off his torso as he ran his other hand over her elbow. "Don't worry Lyds." His thumb probed the inside of the bend. Lydia winced as a spark of his juice jumped between his fingers and the ruined joint. "I'm gonna make him pay."

* * *

Loki refused to talk.

He howled. Screamed. Kicked. The bastard even fucking tried to bite them.

But he wouldn't talk.

He was on his knees in the center of the room, thick glowing bands wrapped around his torso, holding his arms straight out against his back. Chains were draped over him, welded to the floor to hold him in place.

Alexis sighed, running her temples as the renewed howls of the monster at her feet dug a fresh headache into her brain. "Come on Domo, he's not going to say anything."

Nick glared at the creature, and the creature snarled right back in unabashed defiance. "I'll catch up Lex."

The ghostly woman disappeared through the door with a grimace over her shoulder to her brother. "Careful Domo."

When the door snapped shut once more, Nick's foot connected squarely with Loki's face.

Loki howled in agony, hacking up a mouthful of blood as he snarled up at Nick. "Traitor! Leech! Big Brother is most displeased with you! He talks of tort-" Nick brought his foot up once more, dislodging a few of the creatures teeth this time.

Nick's eyes narrowed as he crouched down to place himself on eye-level with Loki. "Look at me."

Reluctantly, Loki lifted his head.

Nick's hand shot out, covering Loki's right eye. "I want you to take a message to Ahriman."

Loki thrashed as Nick's fingers dug into his eye socket, wrapping around the delicate ocular organ. "NO! STOP!"

Nick pulled the glowing red orb from his victim's face before moving his hand over the other one. "I want you to tell Ahriman to just try and get me." There was a horrendous squelching sound as Nick began to twist the second eye from its place. "Tell Ahriman he will pay for deceiving me, for hurting my Lydia. And tell Maui what the prince did to him will look like a friendly hug compared to how _I'm _going to punish him for everything he did to Lydia." Loki sobbed, collapsing against the ground as Nick stood, one trophy in either hand. The ghost blinked once, and the chains feel away. "Now get out of my sight." Nick snapped his fingers just as the goblin threw himself at Nick, claws extended.

Loki disappeared in a puff of red smoke, forced out through the void.

Nick smirked, lowering his eyes to the bloody crimson irises in his palm. "They're not much… are they?" He lifted the first ocular trophy to his face, gritting his teeth as the sparks of power leapt between the corneas.

Vicious wind tore through the tiny storage room as the eye slowly disappeared. Panting, Nick lifted the second trophy, and repeated the process.

When the ghost stood, he blinked, and a small mirror appeared on the wall before him.

The reflection staring back at him was slightly frightened looking, disheveled and confused. The curly brown locks stuck out in random directions from his scalp, frazzled and unkempt. There were dark circles beneath his eyes from the lack of rest. And his irises had turned a vivid, bloody red.

Nick smirked, blinking once more and the color was washed away to his normal woodsy green. "Thanks Loki. It's not much, but it will do for now."

Nick examined the mess around him, contemplating how he was going to get out of here without raising suspicion.

_Well… wait a minute…_

A cruel smirk found its way onto his face. _Why not raise a little hell? Why not let those bastards know that I'm coming for them? _Nick chuckled, straightening his hair in the mirror. He fixed his collar, adjusted his cuffs, and folded his arms across his chest.

Loki had power. But not enough. Even when added to what Nick already had.

If a few ghouls had to be sent on to the Lost Souls room, so that Nick could gain enough power to protect Lydia…

Nick's smirk widened. "Don't worry Lydia. You want power? I'll give you power. I'll get strong enough to protect you… Stronger even then you or your precious poltergeist."

* * *

Betel glanced down at the top of Lydia's head, wondering if there was a way he could extract himself from her embrace. She'd fallen asleep, her left hand thrown over his chest and wrapped in the material of his shirt. Her knees were resting on top of his thigh as she curled closer to him.

Betelgeuse had never been a cuddly fellow. When he was done screwing whatever mindless bimbo he'd picked up, he was out of there. He didn't like clingy women. Or women that cried.

It wasn't so bad on his Lyds though.

He sort of enjoyed having her need to be close to him. Turning to him for comfort and security.

He liked to think he really had her wrapped around his little finger.

Seeing no way out of this position, and too comfortable to really want to bother actually trying to find one, he settled back into the couch, and flipped randomly through the channels until he found a channel playing Attack of the 50 Foot Woman in German.

Betel smirked, glancing down at Lydia again. Allison Hayes was nice to look at, but she definitely couldn't hold a candle to Lydia. Betelgeuse snickered, turning back to the movie as he imagined a scantily clad Lydia portraying the infamous giantess.

As though suddenly reading his mind and finding all the perverted jokes and ideas forming around the concept of a giant Lydia, the Goth yawned, blinking slowly as she sat up and stretched. "Shit… didn't mean to fall asleep…"

Betel smirked, watching her body curve and extend as she worked the kinks out of her back and neck. "Yer lucky I'm tired." Lydia blinked, turning to see his eyes rake down her sides.

The Goth blushed a brilliant shade of red, dropping her arms and turning away from him. "Quit looking at me like that."

"Like what?" He asked with a leer.

Lydia shuddered. "Like that. I'm not a piece of meat…"

Betel's leer only grew and became even sleazier. "Can't help it Babes. Ya grew up kinda hot."

Lydia grimaced, pushing herself up off the couch. "Hnn. Can we go home now?"

Betelgeuse chuckled, grabbing onto her wrist (making sure it was the un-injured one) to haul himself up after her. "Modesty: ya know I love it." He dropped her wrist and slid his hand down over her butt, giving it a quick squeeze.

Lydia jumped, glaring at him as she pulled out of his grip. "Please don't…"

"Aww, ya ain't any fun at all Lyds."

Lydia rolled her eyes. "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice."

Betel flopped backwards onto her bed, leaning back against the wall as the void spit them out into her room. "Boy what I'd give fer a smoke… Shoulda grabbed my jacket…"

Lydia frowned, moving across the floor to her closet. "What exactly would you give?"

Betel cocked a brow at her, confused. "Depends. You have one?"

Lydia knelt in front of her dresser, rummaging through the bottom drawer for a moment. When she stood again, she held a pack of cigarettes and a can of generic warm beer in either hand. "I figured I better stock up."

Betel's eyes widened in shock as she tossed the nectar and ambrosia towards him, catching it against his chest as she turned to rummage through another drawer. "Wow Lyds…"

"Hmm." She straightened once more, a long, silky bundle of material in her hands. "Erm…" Her face flushed as she eyed the poltergeist. "My closet isn't big enough to change in."

"So?" Betel leered at her, popping open the tab on the can. "It's only me in here. And I seen ya naked already Babes. Sorta wanna see it again."

Lydia glared at him. "Then give me back my booze and smokes."

Betel smirked, tipping the can back again as he gulped down the beer. "Prude."

Lydia huffed in frustration, spinning away from him as she yanked her shirt over her head, tossing it to the side. Betelgeuse watched her flawless back in silent fascination as she ripped off her pants and bra, and threw the dark purple nightgown over her head. She pulled the rubber band from her hair, letting it fall down her back in silky ebony waves as she shook it out.

She turned and practically stomped towards the bed, flopping onto it on her side, on the extreme edge as far away from Betelgeuse as possible.

But the poltergeist wasn't having that. With a sleazy smirk, he wrapped an arm around her middle, pulling her back against him as she squeaked in protest. "C'mon Lyds, ya know I'm just messin' with ya." After a tense, quiet moment, he smirked in satisfaction as she rolled over to face him, her arm back in place over his middle.

"You're a jackass."

"And ya know ya love it."

"Hmm."

"I gotta question Babes."

Lydia tilted her head back to look up at him, confusion coloring her features. "About what?"

"Actually I got two. First is: how'd ya get the booze? I thought ya were still too young."

Lydia grimaced. "That was in May Beej. You missed my birthday by a couple of months."

Betel stared at her quietly, startled by the news. "It's October now, right?"

"Mmhmm. You were out almost six months."

Betel let out a low whistle, lifting a hand to run through his ratty hair. "Damn… So how old are you now?"

Lydia grimaced again, though why she would be upset Betel had no idea. "Twenty."

"Wow. Alright second question." Betel set the beer aside, and used his now free hand to grab her arm, hooking a finger in the top of the silky material of her glove. "Why are you still wearing these?"

Lydia squeaked, yanking her arm away as he tried to drag the material down. "I… I don't want you to see them."

"Why?"

Lydia had to blink, sliding her gaze back up to his face as the tone of his question hit her. That single word, that baffled tone… it brought back memories of tasteless whorehouses and heatlamps and a game of charades. Lydia shook her head, dropping her cheek back to his chest as she curled her arm against her chest. "Because… because they… they make my arms ugly."

Betel snorted, reaching down to grab her arm and yank the material off. "Lyds, I can honestly say that yer the last person, dead'er alive that I would ever think of as ugly." He tossed the glove across the room before shifting on the bed so he could reach between them and (gently, of course) lift her other arm up to rid it of its glove as well. "These are yer battlescars Babes." He fixed her with an intense stare, his emerald irises burning into her deep chocolaty ones. "They tell people that yer one bad-ass chick. That things've happened to you, but look at you: still up and kickin' more ass."

Lydia's mouth popped open to form a perfect 'o' as he continued to stare fiercely down at her. "You… I think… you just complimented me…"

Betelgeuse rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yer hot. Even with these." The hand that wasn't wrapped around her wrist teased its way up her arm, drawing surprised shudders from her. "Maybe 'specially with these…"

"What do you mean?"

Betel smirked, still tracing his way up her arm, over her shoulder until his hand found her neck. "Ya got these tryin' ta help me. That's pretty fuckin' hot in my books."

Lydia blushed, but returned his smile. "You know what?"

"What's that?"

"You're not so bad."

"Don't go spreadin' it around."

Lydia pulled herself up, briefly pressing her lips to his. "Wouldn't dream of it."

* * *

**Crap.**

**I keep giving you these short chapters, where I was rolling out nine-pagers in the last story.**

**But whatever. Can't be helped.**

**Hoh snap.**

**Hoh. Freaking.**

**SNAP!**

**RaversAnthem: ***ships Nick off to Zimbabwe* HE MUST LIVE FOR THE STORY TO CONTINUE! Well... un-live… seeing as he's already dead… Anyway. Glad you enjoyed it, and don't worry too much about Lyd's arm.

**Ceysna:** Ah, well don't worry about 'gods frying'. We still have lots of story to go. And it seems as though yes, there will be yet another installment after this. xD We might be going trilogy guys! Hah, speaking of drawing, I've decided I'm going to try and draw the entire cast, either Invader Zim style or half-body anime style… probably anime. You'll have to send me a link if you upload it! Um… sorry about your fingernails. *sweatdrop* But very glad you enjoyed it so much. Yeah, yeah Barbara is a bit of a spit fire when it comes to kicking Betel's ass…

**Prats 'R' Us:** I. About. Died. Laughing. When I saw that I had 60 reviews because you went back and reviewed the chapters you missed! xD. -huggles- That made my day! You madam, are quite awesome. Hah! That's a good idea… I think (since he was feeling guilty about missing her b-day) and I was told to make him take her someplace strange, that he'll take her to Ireland to make up for her birthday. MAYBE. And how did you know Nick was going to betray them? Oh right… he's the 'secret' main antagonist… And Adam and Chuck don't 'own' her… though they don't really count…


	17. Dreams And A Bit Of Freaking Out

Beatrice chuckled, lowering her eyes back to the plate she was scrubbing after checking through the window to make sure her son was still in the front yard.

Such a rambunctious child…

It had been nine long, worrisome years. Benjamin was an… energetic, enthusiastic little fellow. But he was a good little soul. He caused mayhem, and got into all sorts of trouble, but what young boy didn't? He had grown into a handsome little child, all huge emerald eyes and long, silky blonde locks that were almost always pulled back into a ponytail. Beatrice refused to cut his beautiful hair. "It's the hair of a little angel." She'd told Nat. Benjamin, the blessed little angel.

Tobias, it seemed, had failed to corrupt her child.

Beatrice smiled to herself, setting the now thoroughly scrubbed plate down on the counter just as the front door banged open. "Mum! Fred had ta go home!"

"Oh, you poor dear." Beatrice teased, wiping her hands dry on her apron as she turned to watch her pouting son flop into his usual chair at the dining table. "Whatever will you do? You could help mummy with the chores."

Benjamin paled, jumping up from his seat and bolting for the door. "I forgot I gotta go catch frogs with Xander."

Nathon chose that moment to enter the room, catching his son by the back of his collar. "Uh-uh Ben. Go help your mum."

Benjamin sighed, snatching the towel for dish-drying off one of the cupboard doors. "Fine fine fine."

Beatrice chuckled, cupping her son's chin to plant a kiss on his forehead. "There's a dear. Are you leaving Nat love?" She asked, crossing the floor in a few quick strides to kiss her husband goodbye.

"Aye. Four more deaths because of this damn disease."

Benjamin paused in his drying of the plate, glancing up at his father as he and his mum shared a whispered conversation. Probably something to do with this thing that was killing everyone. So many precautions had been put in place, and Benjamin had to clean himself, all the time.

Benjamin believed he had better things to be doing with his time.

After a few more whispered words, I love you's and goodbyes, Nat departed into the thin fog that always seemed to hang over the tiny town. Beatrice returned to the sink, pulling another bowl from the dirty water to scrub. "Did you have fun playing with your friend?"

"Aw mum, don't say it like that!" Benjamin groaned. "Ya make it sound like we're little kids!"

Beatrice laughed, handing her son the bowl. "Well did you enjoy your game?"

"I guess." Ben huffed in frustration as he shoved his bangs from his face for the third time.

* * *

Betelgeuse grunted, rolling onto his side and burying his face in the top of Lydia's hair.

Stupid ass dreams.

He sighed, blinking his eyes open slowly to stare down at the Goth, curled in a tiny ball with her back against his chest.

Five months.

He'd missed a lot. Her birthday, the aftermath of Nick spilling the beans to the world, her stint in the hospital.

Her birthday.

Twenty years old. Just a few more months, and it would basically be their sixth anniversary.

He felt an irritating pulse of guilt and… what was that? Pleasure? in his stomach at that thought.

He…

Oh god.

He actually wanted to do something _nice _for her.

Fuck's sake this woman was going to single-handedly ruin his horrible reputation.

With that happy thought, Betel slid his arm over her waist, closing his eyes and leering against the back of her head.

* * *

Betelgeuse watched in grim silence as Lydia seemed to wilt over the next few days, while he felt himself steadily returning to his full power.

The workload seemed to be crushing her, and Betelgeuse was beginning to actually worry about her. He'd suggested more than once that she take a break, but had stopped after the first two days when she finally snapped at him.

She didn't have time to sleep, because of her homework. So she'd accidentally fall asleep in class, which only served to pile on even more homework. Which resulted in less sleep, and less than two weeks after their turn, a nervous breakdown.

Lydia sniffed, wiping her eyes with her free hand as Betelgeuse taped up the other one. "Next time Babes," He murmured, wrapping the gauze up around her knuckles. "I'd suggest punching something a little less sturdy than a brick wall. Like that Brewster wench." Lydia stared silently at the floor, her hand limp in his as he finished his patch job. He pat a hand against her knee before he stood, pulling a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it with his thumb. "You okay?"

Lydia didn't answer, just wiped her eyes and pulled her sociology book into her lap.

Betel grimaced, flopping down onto the bed beside her. "Lyds?" She glanced sideways for a moment before her eyes fell to the book once more, silently acknowledging him. "Babes… ain't there somethin' I can do? Yer gonna kill yerself with all this…"

Lydia shook her head. "Not unless you can stop time for a few hours so I could get some sleep and get caught up…"

"Hmm. Er… Babes?"

Lydia took a deep breath, tearing her eyes away from the book to fix him with a hard stare. "Yes?"

"I… think I oughta go check in with Juno. S'been about two weeks since we got back."

Lydia shrugged. "Sure. Whatever."

"You gonna be okay?"

"I'm a big girl, I'll be fine on my own for a few hours." She grumbled. "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice."

Betel took a slow drag on the cigarette hanging between his lips as he was tugged through the void and deposited in his living room.

Ah, sure was great to be back, he thought sarcastically.

Steeling himself for what would no doubt be a long, boring lecture; the poltergeist snapped his fingers and was transported to the Capitol Building.

* * *

Lydia hissed in frustration, slamming the sociology book closed and throwing it as hard as she could against the wall opposite her.

When the crash did nothing to sate her, she threw herself backwards onto the mattress, folding her arms behind her head and glaring at the ceiling as though trying to set fire to it with only her stare.

_How do Bertha and Prudence do this? _She thought. _They have way more credit hours right now than I do... But they're always above and beyond, and happy. What's their secret? Oh right. _Lydia snorted as she sat back up, reaching over the edge of the bed to grab her art history folder. _No dead people trying to kill them and their dead friends. Boy aren't they lucky…_

Lydia huffed, hauling herself back up and stomping towards her closet. After many minutes of frustrated digging and a few choice swearwords she'd picked up from Betelgeuse, she finally straightened with her prize in hand: a Walkman and a pair of headphones.

He threw herself back onto the bed, clamping the headphones down over her ears. She yanked her pillow from its spot against the headboard and flopped face-down onto the mattress, her head at the footboard and the pillow bundled below her cheek. Beej was right, she needed a break… Maybe if she just let herself relax for an hour or two, she could be more productive. If she could just get through the last pile of make-up homework…

Lydia jabbed the play button and turned the volume as loud as she could stand it without hurting her ears, clamping her eyes shut as she let herself be consumed by the music.

* * *

"It ain't a big deal Juno." Betel insisted. "S'only been like a couple'a weeks…OW!" Betel nearly toppled over in his chair as the book Juno had tossed at him connected with his head. "What the fuck was that for?!?"

Juno smashed her spent cigarette against her desk, glaring daggers at the disheveled being across from her. "You jump off the highway with that breather in your arms, and end up trapped there? Then you wait a week and a half to tell us the two of you are safe?"

Betel frowned. "I thought ya had tabs on me and Lyds ever since that thing in the crypt."

"So did I." Juno grumbled. She leaned back in her seat, pulling a fresh smoke from her chest pocket. "I went to talk to the Powers, and it seems that just before you disappeared off to Saturn, you and Lydia were taken off the radar. Don't get any ideas Geuse." She snapped, seeing his sudden grin. "I have enough to deal with right now, what with that little bastard going A.W.O.L…"

Betel blinked, jumping forward in his seat. "Woah woah wait… what happened?"

Juno grimaced. "Nick seems to have defected Geuse. We had captured one of the gods responsible for setting the worm loose… Loki I think his name was. It was my fault of course." Juno spat. "But I didn't expect Nick to steal the bastard's powers and run off on a killing spree…"

Betel blinked again, flabbergasted. "_WHAT?!?"_

Juno nodded. "He gouged the poor sucker's eyes right out of his skull and popped them in his own head. Complete and total power transfer."

Betel flopped against the back of the chair, his mouth still half-open in shock. "He…"

"Betel, you can't tell Lydia." Juno snapped, leaning forward against the desk and jabbing a finger in the poltergeist's direction. When the ghost only snorted, a slow grin developing, Juno smacked her palm down against the desk. "Dammit Geuse don't you dare! That poor little girl cares about Nick, and we think…" Juno grimaced, shaking her head. "No, doesn't matter. But you can't tell Lydia. You know her best Geuse, she's just like you. She'll want to confront him, only she'll want to talk, to try and convince him to turn." Juno fixed her ex-assistant with a firm glare. "She'll only be in more danger if she knows."

Betelgeuse shook his head. "Ya know ya can't keep things from her, not fer long."

"You're not going to tell her?"

Betel grimaced. "Not unless I gotta. She…" Betel frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. "She's sorta freakin' out right now, havin' ta catch up in school and deal with all this." Betel let out a short, braking chuckle. "Kid actually busted her hand up on a wall."

"Well don't add this. And no more bringing her to the Neitherworld."

Betelgeuse frowned, snorting at the demand. "Why not? She likes comin' here. S'about the only time I can get her ta actually loosen up and be happy."

Juno cocked a brow at him, and the almost… sad expression on his face. "You bring her here to cheer her up?"

Betel's eyes narrowed. "Shut up Juno."

"So you actually have a splinter of humanity left in that ancient, moldy skeleton of yours?"

"Juno? Do me a favor and go fu-"

"Better watch it Geuse." Juno snapped. "I hear Mrs. Maitland doesn't appreciate that language. How was your first encounter with soap in nearly six hundred years? Geuse, do you even understand the fact that bringing her here could severely damage her health?"

Betelgeuse ignored her words, and hauled himself out of the chair, brushing off his jacket that he'd juiced on before arriving. "Ya know… unless ya got anythin' important ta tell me, like where that little shit is so I can go rip him ta shreds, there's a fresh beer and a hot, lonely little Goth with my name all over them."

* * *

Lydia watched the priest and another man in a long, flowing cloak lift the young man onto the stone table, and strap him into place with long leather bindings.

The other man she could only assume was someone of great authority by the way he carried himself and barked orders to the men and women rushing to help the priest with his preparations paused by the boy's head, cupping the young man's cheek. "How far gone is he father?"

The priest grimaced as the boy struggled in his restraints, leaning over to peel one of the boy's eyes opened. "Less than half one hour... We're lucky it occurred in the church. The ghost inside could have gone undetected if it had waited to possess the child. Hurry Amelia, bring a bowl of the water."

The scene seemed to speed up, and Lydia watched in fast-forward as the group held the screaming boy down, cooling his forehead with cloths dipped in what she assumed was holy water. The light outside the window began to grow dark, and the boy's struggles increased.

And then, everything slowed to a normal pace. The boy collapsed against the stone tablet, his limbs shaking spasmodically as he fought to catch his breath.

The man Lydia had assumed to be an officer of some sort ripped open the boy's shirt, pumping his hands over the stilled heart and forcing air into the blocked lungs.

And finally, when it seemed hope was lost, the boy jerked, shuddered, and took in a deep, shaky breath.

As the church's women began to unstrap the boy, murmuring soothing words of comfort, the priest clapped a hand against the taller man's arm. "Thank you Nathon, my friend. The boy owes you his life."

"No, father. Your quick senses caught the demon in him."

"Yes well… Speaking of demons, how are you and your wife doing?"

"Ah… Beatrice is distraught still. No parent is meant to outlive their child. But perhaps it was for the best…"

"He was no monster Nathon. He was no saint, but he lived fine enough as any normal human is bound to."

"Yes… I suppose…"

The priest pat his friend's back. "I watched that boy grow from the day you called me to break Tobias' hold on him. Do not fear for him Nathon."

* * *

"Babes?"

The Goth just sighed and turned her head, off in lala land as the music blared in her ears.

Betel sighed, trying to crane his neck into a position where he could see her from the stupid little hand mirror. Damn… He snapped his fingers and Lydia's headphones and pillow were ripped away from her.

Betel felt slightly guilty about this, the poor kid needed her sleep, but he was an impatient man. "BABES!"

Lydia yelped, jerking awake even as she rolled too far over and fell off the bed. Howling in pain, she snatched wildly for the mirror on her windowsill, pulling it down to the floor with her as she cradled her head. "Geeze Beej, subtle much?"

Betel grimaced apologetically. "Sorry. You alright?"

"Hmm." Lydia yawned, rubbing her eyes as she pulled herself up using the corner of bed. "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice." Betel appeared beside her, sliding his hands under her armpits to help her up.

"Sorry."

"No." Lydia yawned, stretching as she crossed the floor to her closet. "Need to wake up anyway. Wasn't supposed to f-f-f-aaaaaall asleep so long." She ducked into the closet and returned with two beers, tossing the first to Betel. "I just had the weirdest dream…"

Betel popped the top on the can and leaned against the window frame, his free hand in his pocket. "Ya get done with all yer homework?"

"No."

"Oh."

Lydia blinked in his direction before lowering her gaze to the math book she'd just pulled from her bag. "You were right though." When Betel only stared at her in shock, she shrugged. "I feel better after getting some real sleep. But that dream…"

"What was it about?"

"Hmm… can't really remember. I didn't really understand what was going on. I think it was an exorcism. But it was so weird." Betel's head tilted to one side as he watched her scribble down the first problem. "It was like, they were speaking another language, but I could understand it. I think it was French. One of the men had lost his child I think."

Betel frowned, swirling his can a little. "An exorcism?"

"Yeah."

"In a French church?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm…"

"Mean anything to you?"

Betel shrugged. "I was nearly exorcised in a French church. Way back when, just after I died. S'about the first thing I really remember."

Lydia frowned, scribbling down the next problem. "I wonder why all of a sudden your past is being pulled back up. You were having weirdo dreams, now I may have just had a weirdo dream about you?"

"Nah Babes, it if was about me it'd be a we-"

"Shut up Betelgeuse."

* * *

**ARRRRGGGGGHHHH! Short.**

**Took so long too. Sorry guys. *smacks head against keyboard***

**Prats 'R' Us:** You are. You and all your psychic awesomeness. I thought about having him take her to like, and old professor or something for help on her homework, but I decided to save that for later.

**RaversAnthem:** Lol, glad you enjoyed it. I think they deserved a bit of fluff again. *watches you run off to stalk Nick* Poor bastards dead meat, isn't he?

**BlackRose-FlowerofDeath:** Oh Nick is far gone. Wait until you see the rest of this installment. *sweatdrop* Well… we need an antagonist, and no one applied for the job! So I had to kidnap, I mean, force, I mean pay Nick to be the antagonist. And yeah, They need their powers for the rest of their part in the story.

**LoliPear:** For sure. Beej and Nick shall come to blows, fret not.

**Kur7Kagnluv:** Glad you're back! And yes, but there is a point to that. And he doesn't mean to be evil. He just is. And he was never really a wuss, that was his exterior. =P.


	18. Caring

**Ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump BAM!**

**I apologize. I've lost my mind…**

* * *

Lydia sighed, dropping her pencil beside her notebook and letting her head fall onto to page of notes.

Caught up. Finally caught up.

Finally. Caught up.

Betel grinned, sliding a hand over her shoulder and giving her a slight shake. "C'mon Lyds. Twenty more minutes and you can sleep."

Lydia sighed, dragging her head back up into the air as the professor droned on and on. Her final make-up assignment had been turned in, and this was her last class of the day, and as it was Friday, the last class of the week.

She had two days of R&R awaiting her. Two blissful days of sleep and relaxation.

She felt something cold on the back of her neck and jumped, swatting at the poltergeist in the same moment that she'd realized she'd nearly fallen asleep again. Grimacing, she shot him a look that was half apologetic, half grateful. Moving only the corner of her lips she whispered an almost silent "Thanks," at him.

Betel pat her back before he lay back in mid-air to go float over the heads of the other students.

Lydia sighed, stretching her legs out under the desk. Would this woman ever finish her lecture?

As though they were trapped in the Neitherworld, time seemed to slither on like a slug with a brick tied to its ass.

Then that picture snaked its way into Lydia's mind and she spent the last twenty minutes of the class doodling it out.

Finally the minute hand slipped into place over the twelve, and the teacher dismissed the class with a bored wave.

Betelgeuse grinned. _Finally. _

It'd been nearly a month since their return, and Lydia was fully caught up and had her grades past a place she was pleased with. "Just in case," she'd told him. "With my luck, you never know. I could end up on Pluto with mutant dogs trying to eat me next."

But now she'd agreed to relax for a few days, and Betel was going to make damn sure she did.

Screw Juno.

Betel floated after the exhausted Goth, his hands in his pockets as he watched the other inhabitants of the hallway with impatient disinterest.

_C'mon c'mon c'mon! _Betel sighed, glancing down at the half-lidded eyes of his wifey. Boy did she ever look like the living dead…

That's when the idea hit him. He floated down closer to her ear, a smirk on his face. "Babes, ya look like yer gonna fall over."

Lydia glared sideways at him for a moment. "Which is why I'm going home to sleep."

"Right, cuz I'm gonna let ya drive like that. Ya want yer vanity back?"

Lydia blinked. "Yes."

"Say those magic B-words, and call me back in about five minutes. Then go outside."

Lydia frowned, but ducked inside the girls bathroom. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."

Lydia sighed, stepping up to the mirror to examine herself with a pained grimace. Her hair was frizzy and falling out of the ponytail she'd pulled it up into. Her eyes were even darker than usual, and there were deep purple bags under them. Lydia shook her head, ripping a few paper towels from the dispenser.

"Well well well. If it like, isn't the vampire-ress queen."

Lydia ignored the blond, tossing the wet paper towel into the garbage as she bent to retrieve her hairbrush from the outer pocket of her bag.

"Oh look girls, she's like, gettin' all dolled up for her boyfriend Satan."

Lydia pulled the brush through her hair, finally glancing over her shoulder at Claire. "Nah, Satan's got too big of an ego, know what I mean? Besides, he's already got all those horned vixens down there to keep him company." Lydia set down the brush, pulling a few strands of hair forward to give herself some bangs. "But you're right, I've got a hot date tonight. He should be here any moment." Turning briefly to appreciate the shocked expressions on the heavily made-up faces of the skanks of Raven Brook, Lydia made her way across the cheap linoleum. "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice."

Lydia pushed through the door, satisfied as she realized that Claire was following her, curious to see what Lydia had dragged up for a boyfriend. Lydia snorted, riding high on the rush of adrenaline she was getting from messing with Claire. So Beej wasn't the most… handsome or charming of guys.

He'd still make Claire die from shock.

Just as Lydia reached the front door to the building, she heard the curious voices outside, or the shocked, confused gasps.

OF course, Betelgeuse had probably made some sort of entrance.

Lydia brushed her bangs from her eyes as she stepped outside, never breaking pace as she made her way down the stairs through the crowd that had gathered.

And of course, there he was, with Doomie, all fixed and in all his obnoxious neon green glory. BJ, as they'd dubbed his disguise, sat on Doomie's hood, his feet on the bumper and his arms drapped across his knees as he leered around at the students watching this freaky newcomer. He'd shortened his hair again, to about only ear length and it stuck out from his head in crazy, lazy spikes. He wore a heavy black jacket, a white t-shirt with a fanged smiley on the chest, of course his tie hanging loosely around his neck, and baggy black jeans over purple convers. When he spotted her, his hand shot into the air and he waved wildly. "Hey Babes!"

Lydia smiled, unable to stop herself. He sure was a piece of work.

And hey, they were on a roll, and she thought he deserved a thorough thanks for helping her these past few weeks.

Why not give everyone a show?

Lydia finally reached the goofily grinning poltergeist, and reached up to wrap her hand around his tie, yanking him towards her and crushing her lips against his.

Betel's eyes widened in shock as he stumbled off the hood, throwing his arms around her waist and yanking her tiny body up and crushing her against his chest as his lips parted and his tongue snaked out to claim hers.

Lydia grinned, slipping her free hand up and over his chest and the back of his neck to fist in his hair.

Deciding that that was more than enough, Lydia pushed gently on his chest, pulling away from him and walking around the car to the passenger side door.

Betel stood there for a moment, his eyes wide and a stupid grin lingering on his face as he tried to grasp what had just happened.

"You coming BJ?"

Betel's grin widened and he darted around the car, hopping over the door into the driver's seat. "Woah."

Lydia smiled. "That was thanks for helping me with everything." She glanced over her shoulder at the vanity strapped into place in the backseat. "I really appreciate all this."

"Ah, well-" Betel grinned, flipping on the ignition and darting forward to steal the next empty spot. "I gotta take care of my woman."

"Mmm. What about my car though?"

"Eh." Betel shrugged. "I'll get it later. I needed a way ta make sure ya couldn't escape."

Lydia blinked. "What?"

Betel leered sideways at her. "Yer all mine till Sunday. And I don't trust ya ta get the rest ya need ta recharge when yer surrounded by distractions. You and me Lyds, we're outta this town. I'm kidnappin' ya."

Lydia sighed, slumping against the seat. "Yeah well… better you than Nick or one of the gods…"

Betel reached over and gripped her shoulder.

They arrived in the parking lot in no time, and unloaded the vanity. Betel used a little juice to make the thing lighter. Lydia took the front, Betel the back, and they managed to get it up the stairs without too much trouble.

Beatrice had seen them through the window, and was waiting at the top of the stairs with the door open. "Need any help Lydia?"

"Nah. You got your end BJ?" She huffed.

"Uh… yeah." They made it over the threshold and Prudence was waiting with the door to Lydia's room open.

Finally, they set the thing down and collapsed on the edge of Lydia's bed, pretending to be exhausted. "Thanks BJ. Oh uh…" Lydia jumped up as Bertha and Prudence appeared in the doorway, staring pointedly at the strange man currently lounging back on Lydia's mattress. "Bertha, Prudence. This is…" She gestured towards the poltergeist as he picked his teeth, seemingly assessing the pair before him. "This is BJ."

Bertha cleared her throat, cocking a brow at the man as he grinned up at her. "Er, nice to meet you… BJ."

Prudence smile. "Very nice to meet you."

Betel jumped up, crossing his arms as he grabbed their hands and shook them energetically, a wild grin on his face. "Nice ta know ya kids, Burp, Prune. Well this's been swell and all that, but Lyds has gotta pack."

Still reeling from their 'nicknames', the pair exchanged a quick look. "Pack? You're leaving again Lydia?"

Lydia shrugged. "Apparently I can't be trusted to take care of myself. I'm being kidnapped."

"Huh."

Betel snickered, swatting his hands at the girls as he backed them out of the room. "Out. Lyds needs some R&R, and you, ladies, are distracting her." Betel shut the door in their shocked faces, turning back to Lydia with a firm glare. "Hurry up and get packed."

"You do know that this was their apartment first, right?" She asked with a tired sigh.

Betel shrugged, ducking under Lydia's bed to retrieve one of her dufflebags. "I only got ya till Sunday. Speakin' of, I gotta question before we get this train rollin'."

"What's that?"

"There any place ya really wanna visit?"

Lydia frowned, confused by the question, but she didn't hesitate in her answer. "Ireland."

Betel blinked. "Wh… what? Why Ireland?" He shook his head, lifting a hand to stop her. "Nah, nevermind. Ireland'll work. I just imagined ya fer like… Italy or somethin'…"

"_What _are you talking about?"

Betel grinned. "Late birthday present fer my Babes. You and me Babes, some cliffs in _Ireland. _No work, no supernatural shit tryin' ta kill us…"

Lydia froze, shocked. He was being… woah.

A slow smile slid over her, and she turned to continue pulling clothes from her drawers. "Well… thanks."

"Hmm. Done yet?"

"Impatient, aren't we?"

Betel chuckled. "Hurry up kid."

Within ten minutes, Betel had his hand wrapped around Lydia's wrist and was dragging her from the apartment as she tried to say goodbye to Bertha and Prudence. Lydia rolled her eyes, but slid into the passenger seat as he grumbled his way around to the other side. "Are we really going to Ireland?"

"Yeah, but it's like… the one place in Europe I don't know my way around. So we're goin' by nose here. Hold on Babes."

They pulled away from the parking lot, sliding easily into traffic. Betel's plan was to get out of the town's boundaries, find an isolated place, and then teleport them. Lydia didn't think she was going to make it that far though. Before she even understood what was happening, she felt herself falling sideways, and found her head resting against his leg as his arm draped itself over her shoulder.

"Sleep tight kid."

* * *

Lydia's dreams were a confusing swirl of color and noise. Nothing made much sense. There were bits and pieces of her old visions, and of the new one, and strings of dreams that she'd never seen before, but somehow felt familiar. Faces kept coming back to her, and the one that stuck out the most was a young boy who looked remarkably like Betelgeuse, only with glowing blue eyes. He smiled up at her, and there was no trace of Betel's lewdness.

"Babes,"

Lydia blinked, turning her head to look up at the smirking face of the poltergeist, realizing he'd returned to his normal appearance. "What is it?"

"We're here. S'sunset."

Lydia scrambled up, leaning forward against the dashboard as her mouth popped open.

Doomie was parked on a high cliff overlooking the sea. The sunset was throwing broken shards of light over the waves, making the dark water glitter like the sky would in less than twenty minutes. "Oh wow Beej…"

Doomie meeped happily, bouncing a little on his tires as the sun continued to slide lower behind the horizon.

Lydia scrambled around to sit up on her knees, staring wide-eyed behind them at the rolling green fields. There was a pasture farther down the hill, and a handful of cows milled contentedly about. Beyond that was a small town, lit up bright for the fast approaching night. And, even beyond that, a castle loomed over the little town, all dark gray stones and gigantic, twinkling windows.

"Took a while, but I thought ya'd enjoy it."

"Oh Beej…" Lydia slid back down into the seat, her back against his side. "It's beautiful."

Betel's arm slipped around her waist, pulling her closer against him. "Happy Birthday kid."

"Thanks. You didn't have to do this though…"

"Yeah…" Betel smirked. ""Happy Birthday kid."

"Thanks. You didn't have to do this though…"

"Yeah…" Betel smirked. "But ya punched a brick wall Babes. I think ya need a vacation."

Lydia turned her head, smiling up at him. "Thank you." Lydia shivered, pulling her legs up to her chest.

"Cold Babes?"

"A little."

Betel snapped his fingers, and suddenly Lydia found herself wrapped snugly in a bright green blanket with cartoon crickets all over it. "Better?"

"Much, thank you."

"Now fer the birthday toast." Betel snapped his fingers again and a dark bottle of amber liquid and two shot glasses appeared.

Lydia smirked, accepting her glass and clinking it against Betel's. "Trying to get me drunk?"

Betel chuckled. "Nah. I got Babs _and _Juno gunnin' fer ruinin' this thing." He told her, gesturing between them. "Sides, I figure I got plenty of time ta collect later, after I know some rat-fuck ain't about ta come after us… So happy birthday Lyds."

Lydia smiled, closing her eyes as Betelgeuse poured her another shot. "Thank you. I owe you a lot."

Betel grinned down at the top of her head, rubbing his hand against her arm. "Maybe just a little."

"Beej?"

"Yeah Babes?"

Lydia frowned, staring into the shot glass as she swirled the whiskey around in her glass. "Why are you doing all of this? Did that exorcism put some sort of… fluffy bunny soul in you?"

Betel chuckled. "I dunno. Musta gone crazy the past few months."

"I'm being serious. I mean…" Lydia rolled onto her other hip, staring up at him with those wide, innocent eyes that sent a thrill through his moldy old body. "What you did… in May… But this…"

Betel's smile slipped. "I dunno kid. I guess ya grew on me a bit."

Lydia shut her eyes, turning away from him once more. "Do you care about me?"

Betel blinked, taken by surprise by the abrupt question. "Uh…"

"You keep saving me. You about had a fit the first time you brought me to the Neitherworld. These last few weeks you've been acting like an alarm clock, even though I nearly bit your head off more than a few times. I just…" Lydia sighed. "Do you?"

Betel froze, his hand still on her upper arm. A minute passed before he relaxed, and even then all he could do was tap his pointer finger against the rim of his glass.

Did he? Yeah… he did. But he wondered if maybe there was something deeper to it than that. The way she'd phrased it…

Betel moved his hand up her arm, cupping her chin and turning her head to force her to look up at him. He waited until she reluctantly pulled her eyes open once more. "Yeah, Babes. I care about ya."

Lydia sighed, throwing back the last of her shot.

And then she did something that paralyzed Betelgeuse with shock: She set the glass aside, and rolled over, throwing her leg over his hips and straddling him.

Betel stared at her with wide eyes as she slid her hands up his chest. "You know what's really crazy?"

Betel didn't quite trust himself to speak. Was this really happening? Was she seriously working the buttons of his shirt open? Was she- Oh _shit!_… Betel felt his hands find her knees and began to slide up over her jean-clad thighs. He cleared his throat as her fingers brushed over his chest. "Huh?"

Lydia blushed, staring up into the darkened emerald irises. She felt something twist in her belly as she leaned closer, brushing her lips across his. "I care about you."

* * *

**Hah, I know, mean place to cut it off.**

**And yes:**

**After a whole installment and seventeen chapters, there are about to be lemons. =o**

**I know. I'm shocked too.**

**AAAAAAAAND… if an acceptable amount of reviewers ask **_**really **_**nicely I might just find the energy and creativity to really bust my ass and get said lemons up by **_**tonight.**_** And at the very latest, I will set my alarm clock to go off even earlier and update before I leave for school tomorrow morning.**

**BlackRose-FlowerofDeath:** I was actually thinking of doing a related one-shot to this story for his death, and just mention it in this story. I think I could do things more justly for our favorite poltergeist if I devoted an entire thing purely to that. And thanks. I feel this chapter was a little jerky though… Anyway… glad you enjoyed the chapter!

**LoliPear:** I let out a rather childish and immature giggle when I saw I had 69 hits. =D. Yeah… I uh… Don't quite know what I'm going to do then. .. You'll understand why soon enough. ;)

**Prats 'R' Us:** No prob. =D. She does need to relax. Lol, the Maitlands and Deetzs are making an appearance soon too. And… Donny always sort of annoyed me. Also, he doesn't really… 'fit in' with my plot ideas. I keep trying to work him in, but like Prince Vince, I'm finding it awfully hard. So, for the sake of the story we must unfortunately forget about Beej's goody-two-shoes brother. Psychic again, darn you…

**RaversAnthem:** *Nick stares at you* **Nick:** Jordash… is she going to kill me? **Me:** Most likely. Why aren't you in Zimbabwe? Anyway! As soon as I read this review earlier today, I ran right over and read your story. =P. And yes, Nick is a sleaze.


	19. Fire

**So, I have to give credit where credit is due. This scene was actually helped along a bit by a drawing I saw of Beej and Lydia, found here: http : // foreverknight . deviantart . com / art / Sketchy-time-on-the-couch-60546592**

**That should work if you copy and paste and delete the spaces.**

**Anyway, let's hope my smut talent doesn't lie only with Sweenette…**

* * *

Lydia swallowed, her face burning as her trembling fingers popped the next button on his shirt open.

His head fell back against the headrest as he silently watched her, his claws tightening their grip on her hips as her own fingers found the cold, pale skin of his chest. "Geeze Babes…"

She looked up to see his eyes slide closed, and smiled shyly. "I've cheaped you out so many times Beej…"

Betel shivered as she pushed his shirt and jacket the rest of the way open, teasing her nails down his chest and stomach. "Gah… Yeah… I guess."

Lydia smiled again, feeling slightly more confident. And then, as thoughts tend to do at the worst of times, one crossed her mind, and froze her hands against his stomach. "Beej…"

Betel swore, sliding his hands around to dig his claws into her backside. "Fuck… geeze don't stop Lyds…"

"No… I just…" Betel opened his eyes, staring up at her as she bit her lip. "You'll…"

Betel's eyes widened, and a soft grin formed on his face, and expression Lydia had never thought she would ever see. What shocked her even more was when one of his hands left her butt, and lifted to cup her face, pulling her down for a just as gentle kiss. "Babes, I ain't gonna hurt ya, I swear. I would never."

Lydia blushed, turning her face to kiss his palm. Again, that odd taste his skin had assaulted her tongue. But now as she tasted (perhaps this was just the booze talking) she felt a dizzy sort of satisfaction from it. And she wanted more.

She lowered her lips to his chest, making his head fall back against as her lips traced lazy, teasing trails across his collar bone and down to his stomach.

Betel hissed, having to work very hard to resist the need growing inside him. He wanted this. Oh hell did he want this! But he had to remind himself this was her first time.

He did not need _any_one coming after him for fucking this up. He settled for shrugging out of his shirt and jacket before dropping his hands to the hem of the t-shirt she wore, pulling it slowly up her torso. "Yer sure about this Babes? This isn't just some drunken impulse shit I'm gonna get hit later fer goin' along with right?"

Lydia slid up his body again, assaulting his neck with her lips. "I am one hundred percent sure about this Beej."

"Groovy."

Lydia snorted, leaning up to flick her tongue out against the end of her nose as she'd seen Delia do when she was… frisky around Charles. As much as Lydia didn't want to think about that, _at all…_ if it worked for Delia, surely it might work for Lydia? "Did you just say groovy?"

Betel finally maneuvered her shirt over her head, and tossed it into the back seat, reaching behind her to unclasp her bra. "Yes I did." Lydia felt herself freeze again as his hands eased the article off her chest, and felt overwhelming stage fright grip her.

He had seen her naked… but this felt different. Before, it had been because he was trying to save her life. Now… She swallowed, turning her face away as her cheeks burned cherry red and her bra was thrown away to join her shirt.

The silence weighed heavily on Lydia's eardrums as her hands dropped to chest, and his own wrapped around her forearms.

The silence only lasted about three seconds, but Lydia felt like hours had passed before he finally let out a low growl.

Lydia bit her lip, opening her eyes to see his darkening, glued to her chest. "Beej?"

Her voice broke through his mental freeze, and a slow leer pulled the corners of his lips back as his hands snaked up her arms to cup her breasts. His eyes flickered up to hers, and his leer widened as his thumbs flicked over her nipples.

Lydia gasped, jumping slightly in his hands from the unexpected touch. She felt the heat building in her stomach as his claws grazed the underside of her breasts, making her shudder in his grip. "Shit… Beej…" She gasped out.

Betel leaned forward as he chuckled, pressing his lips to one ivory mound. His laugh sent tremors down her spine as his teeth nipped their way across the top of her chest. "Babes…"

Lydia swallowed, sliding her hands up to twist in his hair. "You… like?" She asked stupidly, unable to form anything more coherent than that.

Betelgeuse chuckled again, making her bounce in his lap slightly, only to settle down over his arousal. Betel bit gently into the ivory skin, his eyes clenched shut as her hips rolled on top of him. "You're so perfect Lyds…" His hands slithered around to her sides, dragging just the very tips of his blood-red claws down her sides.

Lights flashed behind her eyes as suddenly his rough tongue flicked over one nipple, running firmly up her now heaving chest to find her collar bone.

Lydia had once thought that would be disgusting: having someone lick her like that. She now threw all that disgust straight out the window as she shuddered and moaned as his tongue then trailed up the front of her throat before he crashed his lips to hers, while one hand dug into her butt, lifting her off his lap a few inches. Her lips parted for him, and his tongue set about re-tracing its now well-known paths, twining and dancing with hers as his free hand worked her belt and zipper.

Lydia whimpered into the kiss, pressing herself against him as her tongue slid across his. Her hands tightened wildly in his hair even as he rolled them over, covering her tiny, quivering body with his own. His hands made short work of her shoes, and (damn her) socks, before his hands found her waist again and-(geeze, screw this) he growled, tearing himself from the kiss and glaring down at her belt. "You wear way to many clothes Babes."

Lydia blushed, watching as he lifted a hand and snapped his fingers.

A cool breeze suddenly tickled Lydia's thighs, and she realized that she was now pantsless.

The Goth sucked in a shocked breath, stage fright overtaking her once more as his fingers brushed across the front of the thong she was now half-glad, half horrified that she'd picked to wear that day. His fingers didn't pause: they dipped lower over the now aching mound, cupping her almost lovingly as he dropped feather-light kisses to her belly. "Perfect…" His claws hooked in the top of the thong, pulling the last thing separating her from his gaze down her thighs. Lydia cried out, jerking beneath his hands as her eyes shot open and her mouth snapped shut. Betel let out a feral growl, momentarily lost in his lust. When her hand touched his arm, his vision cleared, and his eyes met hers. "You okay Babes?"

Lydia took a deep shaky breath, closing her eyes tightly. "Panicked…" She breathed.

Betel grimaced, working the thong the rest of the way down her legs, never breaking eye contact. He flung the article into the back seat before he leaned over her again, grabbing her leg and dragging it up over his hip. "Don't freak Babes. But, if ya don't want this…"

Lydia shook her head, reaching up between them to work his belt. "I want this… want you Beej."

Betel grinned, leaning down to capture her lips once more as her hands impatiently shoved down his waistband. His hands were wild over her body, devouring every inch of skin they could find. Lydia moaned, arching into him as a hand teased its way down her stomach, and over her burning mound.

Before Lydia could think, or prepare herself, he dipped low over her sex, and hooked one finger up into her. Lydia gasped, breaking the kiss as she threw her head back and bucked against his hand. "_Shit _Beej… ohh…"

Betelgeuse dropped his lips to her neck, pumping his finger gently inside her. It amazed him how wet she already was, quivering and aching and arching into his touch as he teased her towards the edge. "You have any idea how many times I've imagine this Lyds?" He growled against her collarbone. "So many times… S'bout the only thing that kept me sane…"

Lydia whimpered, digging her nails into his shoulders as another of his fingers dove inside her, increasing his tempo. "Uuuuhhhhnnnn… ohhhh! Beej!"

Betel snickered, dragging his lips down to her chest as his free hand cupped her and flicked a thumb over her nipple. "How many times I imagined ya _screamin' _my name Babes?" His claw traced a circle around the stiff little nub, as he managed to slip a third finger into her. "Fuck… so tight Lyds…" His mouth enveloped her nipple, sucking hard as she cried out and jerked beneath him.

"S… stop! Stop teasing, please!"

Betel grinned, dragging his teeth across her flesh. "What was that Babes? Didn't hear ya?"

Lydia's hands clawed down his back, hooking themselves in his waistband. "Please… please Betel…"

"Please what?"

Lydia growled, glaring up at him as she bucked into his hand. "Fuck me! Fuck me now Beej! _Please!_"

Betel leered up at her, pulling his hand from her aching core and snapping his fingers to rid him of the rest of his clothes. "Look at me Lydia."

Lydia whimpered, tearing her eyes open to stare into twin emerald blazes. "Beej…"

A curious, warm feeling washed through her, warming her straight to her marrow and filling her with a wonderful, weightless feeling.

Betel gripped her hips, and thrust forward.

Lydia gasped, digging her nails into his back as he moved inside her, slowly moving deeper and deeper with each thrust, bypassing all pain. In some part of her mind, she vaguely understood that she was being hypnotized. That was the only functioning part of her mind though: she was numb from ecstasy.

Her hips rolled up against his, her walls clenching around him. Fuck he was big… She groaned, hooking her other leg around his waist, urging him deeper. "Oooohhh… Beej… harder…"

Betel growled, burying his face in the crook of her neck. "Ahhh… Babes…" He slammed into her, pounding against her innermost core.

Lydia moaned, fisting her hands in his hair and pulling him up for a kiss as the fire raged through her, pushing her closer to the peak. His hand wrapped around her thigh, hooking her leg up over his shoulder. Lydia cried out as he found the spot deep within her that sent her over the edge. She threw her head back against the seat as the orgasm ripped through her. "Ooooh, oh! Betelgeuse! AHHHH!"

Betelgeuse swore, speeding his pace as his claws dug into her, one hand on her chest, the other holding her hip steady as he rode out her orgasm. "So close Lyds… so close… fuck…"

Lydia moaned, her body shaking wildly as another climax began to build in her. "Beej…"

Betelgeuse shook his head, a low growl rumbling through his chest as his pace became frenzied. "My name… say it!" He rasped.

Lydia bucked as her walls clenched him once more. "_Betel_geuse!"

Betel's eyes flashed as her cry sent him over the edge.

The hypnosis had nothing on this. Lydia thought she was on fire: her bones became hollow and were scorched as lights flashed behind her eyes. Fire filled her womb as she climaxed almost violently around him. "_BETELGEUSE!"_

They rode out their climax as they were pulled through the void.

Betel collapsed on top of her, wrapping his arms around her trembling frame as they came to a rest on the lid of his coffin. "Lyds…" He panted.

Lydia gulped down much-needed oxygen, burying her face into his shoulder as the Neitherworld cold assaulted her. Just as she was wishing they'd landed inside the coffin, Lydia felt as though she was falling through warm, dry water. Her back hit warm silk sheets as Betel rolled off onto his side, pulling her against his chest. Lydia sighed, snuggling into him as he pulled the sheets up. "I just had sex… with a dead guy." She panted, her chest still heaving as she fought to catch her breath. "Wild, mind-blowing, multiply-satisfying sex with a dead guy…"

Betel chuckled, sliding his hand down over her but. "And not just any dead guy Babes: the Ghost with the Most."

Lydia chuckled, pressing her lips to his moldy chest. "Hmm…"

Betel blinked, lifting his head off the pillow to stare down at her. "S'up Lyds?"

"Oh… just wondering if I'm going to be the first necrophiliac nympho with a poltergeist for a husband… or if maybe there's a club I can join…"

Betel let out a roar of laughter, rolling onto his back as Lydia draped herself over his chest. "I doubt it Babes. You're one of a kind."

* * *

**Short, but there's your first lemons. And whoot! 21 minutes to go before tomorrow, meaning I've kept my promise. =P.**

**LoliPear:** Really? Well… sorry to shock you! *sweatdrop* I've been trying to find a way to work sex in since the beginning, seeing as it is rather important to the end result! Well, I hope you at least enjoy it, despite the non-computation.

**RaversAnthem:** You make me laugh! xD. What's DEWBKJWOBN mean? Hah, your smutty oneshots were freaking amazing, I hope mine manages to live up to them, or at least make it into the same social circle.

**BlackRose-Flowerof-Death:** Um… well. ;) You'll have to wait till the climactic conclusion of this installment to find out.

**SeductressofDarkness:** Glad you're back! *shiver* I hated my senior seminar. It nearly killed me. And wow! Yes that is a great topic. Hope you enjoyed the lemons.

**Life4DemiMeg:** Hah, I thought that might get people going, though Beej did turn out a little more dominant than I intended… And I tried. I've been to Ireland, not really the most romantical of places, but Lydia didn't want to go to the more romantical destinations around Europe so… =D. And I share your mom's fear. It probably stems from being pushed out of my friends tree house when he was mad at me one day…


	20. Panty Raids And Surprises

Lydia sighed, pulling herself closer to the strangely warm body beside her. She blinked, taking in the expanse of pale, moldy chest as she felt another thrum of power vibrate through his body.

Most strange.

Lydia lifted her head as he let out a loud snore and tightened his grip around her waist.

The Goth chuckled, lifting her head another inch to stare down at their entwined legs, tangled wildly in the sheets.

_Nine_ more times they'd done the deed. Just last night. And earlier this morning? Three, at least.

Having magic instead of blood flowing through the veins to… 'raise the bridge' sure did have its advantages. Like an almost nonexistent period of resting time.

Lydia pressed her lips to his shoulder before she carefully detangled her legs and pressed them against the lid of the coffin, pushing it open just enough to grab the edge. She pulled it the rest of the way open, leaning over Betelgeuse to lean it against the wall so it wouldn't slam and wake him up.

Lydia hauled herself up and out of the coffin, wincing at the soreness between her legs.

So worth it though.

Lydia blushed, running a hand through her hair as she looked around for her clothes.

The things he'd said… the things he _did…_ Lydia shuddered, smiling as the night replayed in her head.

How stupid of her to not want this.

Sex with a crazy old dead guy was indeed the tops, screw society's rules.

As this thought passed through her mind, Lydia realized with an annoyed blush that her clothes were indeed nowhere to be found.

"Shit… Must still be in Doomie…" Lydia muttered. She cast her eyes around the room until they fell on a rickety old closet with one of the doors half-hanging off its hinges. She tiptoed across the floorboards and yanked it open.

Inside were piles and piles of mismatched clothes, though there was another striped suit. There was also the robe she'd seen him in during their very first encounter, and the memory had the smile on her lips widening. She grabbed the striped jacket off its hanger and pushed her arms through the sleeves, buttoning it up. Lydia held her arms out, looking down to examine herself and giggling.

Betel's clothes looked rather good on her, she thought with a smug smirk.

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes Lydia tiptoed from the room, dancing on air as she made her way to the kitchen and her target: a tall, icy glass of fresh agua.

She hummed a made-up tune as she practically skipped into the kitchen and up to the cupboards. She had to stand on the tips of her toes and stretch her arms above her head to reach the top shelf (didn't he ever do the dishes?) to grab one of the last clean glasses.

"Lydia?!"

Lydia yelped, losing her grip on the glass as she flung her arms back, spinning around to face the French skeleton and his tiny pink companion. Lydia's eyes grew huge as she realized that she was indeed, half naked in front of her dead friends. She yelped again, yanking the hem of the jacket down to assure herself that she was completely covered. "Dammit!" She whimpered, ducking behind the counter as she glared at them. "Why are you guys up so early?!"

"Uh…"

Ginger socked the side of Jacques' skull as he continued to stare at Lydia. "Lydia, hon, it's like… lunch time."

Lydia blinked, letting out a low sigh as she adjusted her grip on the edge of the shirt. "Geeze… alright people, avert your eyes."

"Lydia-"

Lydia grimaced, holding a hand up to Ginger as Jacques tore himself from his shock and spun away. "Yes, Ginger. We did. And no, I can assure you I was in no way forced into this." Lydia danced past them into the hallway once she was sure Jacques couldn't see her.

She collided with something large and solid about halfway down, and nearly fell back on her butt when two wide hands caught her by her shoulders. "Geeze Babes, not get enough?"

"You're rather smug, aren't you?" She snipped.

Betel chuckled, straightening her up. "Actually… yeah. Ya look great, by the way. Half-naked's a good style for ya."

Lydia rolled her eyes, glancing down to see that he was already dressed in his spare suit, sans jacket. "You didn't happen to see my clothes in there, did you?"

Betel leered down at her, nodding his head slowly. "Everythin' 'cept yer underwear…"

Lydia blinked, confused. When the poltergeist just winked at her, an idea suddenly wormed its way into her mind. "You have them, don't you?"

Betel cackled, leaning down to kiss the corner of her mouth. "Now why would I steal them from ya Babes?" He stepped around her, still cackling as he folded his hands behind his head. "That's just childish and perverted."

Lydia grit her teeth, imagining herself fully clothed and wearing heavy combat boots so she could walk out there and kick him in the head. "Butthead."

Lydia was still grumbling incoherent curses as she ducked into his room and spotted the bag she'd packed lying on top of his coffin. The Goth grinned, skipping across the room. Hah! Stupid bastard could keep the damn thing, the perv. She had other underwear to-

Lydia paled, digging frantically to the bottom of her bag in a panic.

All. Of her underwear. Were gone.

"Bastard!" She hissed. Lydia growled as she yanked the only skirt (knee-length and black) she had from the bag and dug around for a suitable top and coming out with a dark purple spaghetti strap. Lydia sighed, quickly yanking on the less than fully clothed ensemble.

Dressed, she stormed from the room and down the hall to find the three housemates lounging on the couch. Betel seemed to be the only comfortable one, his legs stretched out in front of him and his hands folded behind his head.

As Lydia stormed into the room, she only vaguely heard what Jacques muttered before he leapt up and hurried from the room. Lydia blinked, watching his retreating back. "What…-?"

Betel snorted, earning an irritated glare from Ginger. "He saw your hot, shiny little ass in the kitchen."

Lydia grit her teeth, resisting the urge to kick his shin. "Give. Them. Back."

Betel tore his eyes away from the TV, leering up at her. "Give what back?"

"Beej!"

Betel sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Betelgeuse! I swear to _god _last night will _never _happen again unless you give them back, _now!"_

Betel's eyes narrowed up at her. "Yer bluffin'." Lydia cocked a brow, folding her arms across her chest, daring him to defy her. Betel cocked his head to the side, gauging the expression before his face fell in defeat. "Yer serious."

"Hell yes I am."

"Ya can't go without em till Sunday?" He asked with a suggestive smirk.

Lydia glanced sideways at Ginger, who was staring pointedly at the TV. "One."

Betel blinked. "Huh?"

"If you give the rest back now… you can…" Lydia swallowed, blushing hard as she stared at the ground. "Keep. One." She finally grit out.

Betel's eyes lit up wildly, and he pulled one hand from his pocket, snapping his fingers. "Deal."

Lydia grimaced, nodding her head at him in gratitude. "Thank you." And then she turned and flopped down onto the couch, crossing her legs and arms as she set in to watch the infomercials. Betel blinked, confused. Lydia smirked, winking sideways at him.

Betel snickered, patting a hand against her knee. "Yer so weird."

"Thanks."

Ginger cleared her throat. "Is this going to become a regular thing?"

Betel howled, throwing his head back against the couch and slapping a hand against his eyes as his laughter echoed around the room. Lydia rolled her eyes, elbowing him in the ribs. "Uh… what… exactly do you mean?" She asked, blushing.

"This… lovey-dovey-teasy-flirty couple thing." Ginger said. "It's weird on Betel. I mean…" Ginger shook her head, settling onto the arm of the couch and propping her chin up with one hand. "I always expected this to happen. It was bound to. It's just… weirder than I imagined."

Lydia smiled. "That depends entirely on how long it takes him to eff this up."

Betel grinned, pulling his hand from her knee and draping it over her shoulders. "Beej is going to try Beej's hardest not to 'eff this up'."

* * *

The next day flashed by too quickly for Lydia.

Between exploring the caves on the beaches once the tide had gone out, and walking hand-in-hand (which shocked her to no end) through the graveyards set on the breezy green hills, and yes- sex, lots of it- Lydia felt hugely disappointed by their lack of time.

She slumped sideways into his lap, glaring at the setting sun.

"Somthin' wrong kid?"

"Hmm." Lydia rolled onto her back so that she could look up at him. "Yeah… A lot of things…"

Betel grunted as he crossed his legs under her head and leaned over her head, propping one elbow up on his knee to support his head. "Like what? Ya gotta family, friends, money, brains, looks. And a uh… multi-talented hubby."

Lydia sighed. "And a bunch of dead guys trying to destroy both our worlds. Oh, and one… evil… succubus bitch that really needs to re-die."

Betel's eyes widened. "Huh?"

Lydia grimaced. "I don't like what that scag said to you." She murmured. "I'm not really all that violent, but she's the one I want to mess up. Well… Ahriman too. But she's the one that controlled Nick, swayed him over to their side. And…" Lydia grimaced again. "No one talks like that to my poltergeist."

Betel chuckled, leaning down to peck her forehead. "My big ol' tuff Lyds. What else is botherin' ya?"

"Being powerless."

Betel groaned, throwing himself over onto his back with a dramatic grunt. "That again, geeze Babes. Outta _every_thin' and ya flip over that asshole's words."

"Beej… But…" Lydia sighed, closing her eyes. "I feel useless. You, Jacques, Ging, Monster, Nick, Juno everyone!" She sighed. "You can all do things to help! I mean… Jacques, Ging and Monster keep switching out on patrols, half the city is always flying around… The only reason you aren't is because someone needs to protect the weak, pathetic little mortal."

Betel sat back up, cupping her face with both hands. "Babes, look at me."

Reluctantly, Lydia obeyed, staring sadly up at him. "I just want to be useful Beej. I want to be powerful like you. Then I could do more than hang against a wall, completely at the monster's mercy…"

Betel's eyes flashed, and he gripped her face a little tighter. "Knock it off Lyds! Don't talk like that, ya ain't weak. _Look _at watcha did in the crypt!" He sighed in frustration when confusion colored her sadness. "Babes, ya jumped in an exorcism circle! And yer still alive! Ya held up a crazy powerful hunk of bad juju and saved what those dicks stole from me, and escaped with just a few burns!" He lifted her arm, slipping the glove down to kiss the top of her scars. "Ya figured out where they were hidin' because ya can… 'accept' the dead… What did they call it?"

"Sympathy for the dead."

"Yeah." Betel pushed her chin up, forcing her to look at him. "I wouldn't call that pathetic."

Lydia grinned, scrambling up to push him down on his back. She straddled his waist, pinning his arms above his head as he leered up at her. Lydia leaned down, flicking her tongue against the end of his nose. "I think my mad sack skills put some ability to care back in you."

Betel chuckled impishly. "Right. Keep tellin' yerself that Babes."

The next thing she knew, Lydia was on her back, her wrists trapped in one of his wide hands as he pinned them above her head and started a slow, torturous game down her body.

* * *

The next day rolled around far too quickly as well, and Lydia found herself back in Doomie, blushing furiously. Doomie however, only meeped happily, seemingly unaware of what had happened in his front seat.

Lydia poked Betel's striped arm as he zoomed down the highway, back in his BJ guise. Today he was wearing a maroon dress shirt with a striped tie and another pair of baggy black jeans. "What?"

"How does he… did he…?"

Betel chuckled. "I turned him off before the fact."

"Oh. That's… good." She sighed. "Man I wish we had more time… I'm not ready to go back."

"S'only five more days, then I'll steal ya away again and we can have all the wild, crazy animalistic se-"

"Oh hush. Perv."

* * *

As it was, Delia called Tuesday, and Lydia could tell her twice as bubbly step-mother was hiding something she was bursting to tell as she insisted Lydia take Friday off and come up to see them. There was an important family announcement that needed to be made, and it was crucial that Lydia be there.

"I allowed ta come?"

Lydia grimaced, brushing her fingers across the keyboard. "I… I don't think that would be a great idea… with the Maitlands you know?" Lydia sighed, tapping something into the search engine. "It'll be bad enough as it is, them knowing you and I are like this," she entwined the middle and pointer fingers of her right hand for emphasis, "now. Having wild, mind-blowingly fan-fucking-tastic sex? Please." Lydia shook her hair over her should, shaking her head. "I want In, but not because my family brutally murders me."

Betel chuckled, leaning over to rest his chin on her shoulder. "Watcha doin'?"

"I still can't find anything on Nathon and Tobias." Lydia sighed, pushing against the edge of her desk so the chair spun to face Betel. "Like, zip. Nada. Zilch-o. You lived during the early stages of the Black Plague, yeah?"

"Yeah. If I'm gettin' my history right, I woulda been… young teens during its peak in Europe."

"Right, so I tried looking up old census records in the mid thirteen hundreds. Still nothing. Old church records. Nothing. It's like they never existed Beej. At least not with my limited resources. Geeze…" Lydia let out a low sigh, spinning around to face her computer again. "Dad needs to be like… CIA. I'd have like, _connections _man. I'd be able to say _I know a guy._"

"Chopped liver over here?"

Lydia chuckled, sticking her tongue out at him over her shoulder.

Betel rolled his eyes. "Sex has made ya rather playful Babes."

"Sex has made me continuously sore," She wiggled her butt in her chair. "And constantly horny."

Betel cackled, tugging on a strand of her hair. "I'm rubbin' off on ya."

"Do I ever get that thong back?" She asked abruptly. "I sort of liked that one."

"Nope."

"And why exactly are you keeping it?"

"Trophy. Proof that I was right." He leered.

"Perv. Geeze you're such a randy little…" She shook her head, cupping her chin in her free hand as she clicked on a fresh link. "Do you have anything else besides their names?"

"I dunno… gets kinda hard ta remember… Tobias was a witch." Lydia blinked, glancing up at him as he continued. "And Natty boy was some sorta officer. In the first dream… shit it was so long ago… Uh… Nathon took Tobias ta the gallows. Hung'im fer workin' witchcraft."

"Witchcraft… Woah. Beej…" Lydia shook her head. "You have one crazy, twisted past."

"Yer just now figurin' this out?"

* * *

Lydia gulped down precious lungfuls of oxygen as she stumbled back from her overzealous hubby, holding onto his arm as he chuckled smugly. Lydia smacked him on the shoulder as she caught her breath, throwing him a half-hearted dirty look. "You said 'goodbye kiss' bug-brain, not 'foreplay'. I have to _drive _Betelgeuse."

Betel chuckled, leaning back against her vanity. "Somethin' ta remember me by."

Lydia quirked a brow, leaning up to kiss the end of his nose. "Behave yourself, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice."

Twenty minutes later, Lydia had folded herself into her car, and was cruising down the southbound to Connecticut.

Already the space beside her felt a little too empty.

Damn poltergeist.

As the sun raced towards the horizon, Lydia finally pulled into the Winter Rivers city limits, over the rickety bridge, and was wriggling in her seat as she practically flew over the dirt-and-gravel road leading up the hill.

Of course, the very first thing she had to see nearly made her crash into the fence.

That gaudy little convertible could mean only one thing: Otho was back.

Shuddering, and having to work very hard to resist the urge to call Betelgeuse, Lydia parked impatiently next to him.

Before she'd even managed to pull herself all the way out of the car, she heard the front door slam open and Delia calling to her. "Lydia dear!"

Lydia smiled, adjusting her grip on her bag to wrap her arm around Delia's waist as the woman danced down the stairs to embrace her. "Hey Delia. Geeze, happy much?" She teased.

Delia squealed, hugging the Goth tighter. "And why not?! Oh! No," Delia shook her head, releasing Lydia to bounce back up the steps. "No, I promised to wait till tonight, so Charles and I could tell everyone together! Come on come on!"

Lydia laughed as she followed her step-mother indoors, depositing her bag by the stairs. "Delia, you're getting me all curious! What's going on?" Delia shook her head, dragging her into the living room where Otho and the Maitlands were currently lounging. Well… More Otho was fidgeting nervously in his chair while the Maitlands lounged on the loveseat. Lydia smiled brightly at her godparents before turning her head to grimace at Otho. "Why is it that every time I come home now, _you're _here?"

Otho made a face at her, swirling his scotch before taking a sip. "Because I simply a_dore _you're company little Deetz. Sent anyone to the psycheward yet?"

Lydia smirked. "No, but it's only four-thirty, and I hear they miss you downtown Otho. They're stocking up their pantries just for you."

Otho opened his mouth to snap at her as Adam sent her an amused wink, but Delia cut in. "Oh, stop it you two, please!" Delia actually stomped her foot in impatience. "Tonight is about celebration! Lydia dear," Delia asked, smile already back in place. "Would you mind helping me in the kitchen? You could tell me all about what's happening with school."

Lydia shot one last glare at Otho before she bent to peck Adam and Barbara's cheeks. "Sure Delia."

Delia was (trying) to make some sort of Thai food. It actually smelled pretty good, but when Delia deemed the (still a little undercooked) chicken done, Lydia distracted her and set the oven for the appropriate temperature and time, smiling as her step-mom dance away across the tile. "Delia, you're so bouncy! What's up?"

Delia shrugged. "The Maitlands don't even know dear. You all have to wait until Charles gets home!" She sing-songed.

Just as the women were putting the finishing touches on dinner, Barbara poked her head through the door, her expression curious as she watched Delia dance around. "Delia, Lydia. Charles just pulled into the driveway."

Lydia smiled, dumping the noodles back into the pot from the strainer. "Thanks Barbara. Dinners almost ready."

Twenty minutes later, everyone, including the Maitlands, was seated around the dining table, and tucking into what turned out to be Delia's best dinner ever. Hardly anything was burned or undercooked, the seasonings were only slightly overdone, but overall everything tasted great.

"Alright." Lydia stabbed her fork into her noodles, fixing her parents with a mock-serious glare. "I'm dying to know why Delia is so sunny today, and I demand you tell me."

Delia wiggled in her seat, smiling at Charles as the man chuckled weakly, and clasped her hand, looking around at the congregation. "Well… Delia and I… have been trying for quite some time. We wanted… another child." He looked directly at Lydia as a slow smile pulled her lips up. "Delia?"

The redhead squealed, planting her free hand on her stomach. "I'm pregnant! Three months tomorrow!"

Lydia and Barbara both squealed with delight, flashing around the table to hug Delia.

Adam chuckled, leaning across the table (through Otho, just to piss the man off) and shook Charles' hand. "Congratulations Charles."

Otho growled, leaning away from the ghost. "You know Delia, this could seriously hurt your career." He murmured. The entire room fell silent as they turned to stare incredulously at Otho. He shrugged. "All I'm saying is she won't be able to go on tours. And you can't have Delia's sculptures around a small child."

Delia glared at him. "Otho, honey. Be quiet, kay? You're ruining this for me."

* * *

Lydia pulled her legs up onto the mattress, smiling as Delia showed off the maternity clothes she'd gone far and wide to find to make sure she could keep some sort of fashion. She held up a long black satin dress with wide, drapey sleeves. "That one's really pretty. So you're really pregnant? Do you know what the baby is yet?"

Delia shook her head, hanging the dress up on the closet door and pulling a blouse back out to hold against her chest. "No. Your father and I want the gender to be a surprise. What do you think about Alexander Wayne Deetz for a boy?"

"Hmm…" Lydia bit her cheek, thinking hard. "Quirky… cute… plenty of possible nicknames… I like it." Lydia squealed, clapping her hands eagerly. "Wow, a little Deetz!"

Delia nodded brightly, pulling a pair of dress slacks from the closet. "Do you think these will still look good when I'm all fat?"

"Delia, doll." Lydia adopted a mock snooty tone, waving a hand at Delia. "You look _fabulous_ in trash bags."

Delia snickered, tossing the pants at her step-daughter. "Thanks. You look rather nice yourself today. Got a secret beu you were dazzling?"

Lydia grimaced, rubbing the back of her neck. "Sorta… I guess. I dunno. It's hard to tell with him sometimes, but we've been through a lot together so we're giving… whatever this is a try."

"That's good honey. Hmm…" Delia frowned, holding another shirt up to herself in the mirror.

"I like that one."

"Really?"

"Yeah, brings out your eyes. SO… beneath all the bubbly giddiness… how do you feel? I mean, woah. A baby. I thought you guys decided against it."

Delia's cheeks flushed a little. "I know. But… I mean my internal clock is ticking sweetheart. And… well I think I want to well… do what every female is designed to do… at least once." Delia dropped onto the mattress beside Lydia, pulling the Goth into a one-armed hug. "I have you, and I love you so much. But I didn't get to hold you, or teach you to walk or talk. And I still love you so much Lydia. I do, and always will think of you as my own daughter." Delia sighed. "But I want to experience it from the beginning too. Learn from the mistakes I made in the beginning, with us."

Lydia wrapped her arms around Delia's waist, squeezing her gently. "I love you too, mom. And I'm glad you're having this baby with daddy."

* * *

_SPLAT!_

Lydia smirked, notching another glob in her home-made slingshot when a voice from behind nearly made her jump. "_What_ are ya doin'?"

Lydia grimaced, yanking the shot back into place. "Shooting Otho's precious convertible with homemade bird crap. He pissed me off." She let the tiny sack of imitation waste fly, and it landed with another satisfying plop on the fatman's windshield. Lydia was seated on her balcony rail, something she'd been told time after time not to do. Her back was against the door frame and her legs hung off the front rail. She was dressed in a silky green spaghetti strap that fell almost to her knees and a pair of purple-and-green cotton pajama pants with skulls all over them. She turned her head, looking over to see Betelgeuse lounging against the inside of her mirror. "What are you doing here Beej?" She asked.

"Is my being here buggin' ya?"

"No." Lydia swung her legs back over the rail and dropped down onto the deck, slipping her feet back into her slippers. "The Maitlands are still up." She explained.

"Ah. I just came over ta check on ya. With yer luck the apocalypse coulda started."

"With my luck you and I would be the causes of that apocalypse."

Betel chuckled, settling more comfortably against the frame as Lydia plopped onto her bed, tossing the slingshot onto her nightstand. "So what was the big rush ta get over here for?"

Lydia smiled. "Delia just wanted to tell everyone that she was pregnant." Betel's jaw popped and Lydia chuckled again. "Yeah, three months. Her and Dad have been trying for a while apparently."

"Woah. No more only-child Babes."

"I know. I'm so happy for them, but…"

"But what?"

Lydia sighed, flopping pack onto the mattress and running a hand over her belly. "Well… it got me to thinking." She frowned. "I mean… I've never really thought about it, but I guess I always sort of knew I would like to have kids. And… well." Lydia sat back up, shrugging sadly. "Dead men tell no tales, right? But…" Lydia sighed again. "You and me are like this." She held up her hand, crossing her fingers. "And you're pretty childish so…" Lydia smiled as Betel laughed, shaking his head. "I guess I'm just a little… down."

Betel grimaced, running a hand through his wiry hair. "Yeah… Well… Get some sleep, Kay Babes? I'll see ya on Sunday."

"Night Beej."

* * *

**Wow, sorry that took so long. But I thought I would make up for the recent string of short chapters with a longer one.**

**If you guys have suggestions for Baby Deetz's name/nickname, feel free to tell me in a review. Or if you want indoor or outdoor plumbing for the little tyke.**

**BlackRose-FlowerofDeath:** *finger wiggle* No getting ahead of the story. That's next chapter. =P. And Nick shall come back around the same time. Though you'll most likely hate him even more. =D

**RaversAnthem:** Lol, sorry about that. =/. Hooray! I'm in the smut club! *eats a bowl of celebratory pudding*. Yes. Yes it did fit in with the story. ..

**Prats 'R' Us:** Uh… I don't know… o.0. Maybe it was. Hah, sorry this took so long. *sweatdrop* Homework and all that.

**Kimberly S:** Thanks! Glad you enjoy!

**SeductressofDarkness:** Lol, glad you enjoyed it. I do plan on more, though it may be hard since romance isn't really the central theme… =/ How's that coming along, your project?

**CassiopiaMM:** Exactly what Beej wanted as well. =D. Don't die! *throws you a life saver* oh… wait that was candy… Anyway.

**Ceysna:** Yes, yes I am. This story writes itself, I gotta tell you. Glad you enjoyed. And you better! *fakes a menacing glare*


	21. A History Lesson And More Surprises

**HEY! NOTICE NOTICE NOTICE! GO check out my profile AFTER you read this chapter, and vote in the poll there, okay? Instead of having you review for your vote on the gender, I just put it in a poll in my profile.**

* * *

Nick flexed his hands, admiring the ivory claws he'd acquired.

He'd found something to appreciate from Ahriman: knowledge. This was a forbidden art, the stealing of power from another ghoul's eyes. They weren't the direct power source, the heart was. But obtaining the true power source was a difficult, and damn near impossible task. It usually ended with the heart being destroyed, and the powers drained.

Nick's eyes were under a constant, color-shifting glow from the mutt-mix of powers. It was a dangerous, indirect way to power himself up. As was the idiotic thing he was about to do.

But he had to. For his Lydia. His little midnight angel. That poltergeist had to be doing something to control her. What the hell else could explain it? There was nothing redeeming about the ghost. He was old, and filthy, and lewd, and evil.

Nick shook his head to clear it, and pressed his hand against the rock archway.

The natural archway was rough and misshapen, but the arch shape remained all the same.

The arch stood alone, and it should have framed the landscape from either side.

It did not. Whichever side you stood on, looking into the arch, you saw a great expanse of lightless abyss, stretching on forever. And if you stood, absolutely silent, you could hear the cries of the Lost Souls.

Few knew of this second doorway. In fact… Nick wondered if Juno even knew of this door. Anansi had extracted its location from an archivist before they burned down the library.

The second, natural door to the Lost Souls Room.

Nick smiled, and knocked three times against the ancient stone.

Thunder crackled as the skies overhead turned dark, filling with clouds as the souls trapped inside set up a howl of rage and agony, appearing from the darkness. Their claws swiped uselessly at Nick, trying to grab the fresh soul, but Nick held up both hands in surrender. "Brothers! Sisters! Friends!" Nick grinned, flexing his claws as he gestured at them. "Are you ready to be free of this wretched hole?"

* * *

Ahriman's roar echoed around the chamber as he flung the third throne against the wall. It shattered on contact, but this destruction did nothing to sate him. He was already on the fourth throne, setting the fifth ablaze as Eris and Coyote watched on helplessly.

"DAMN THEM!"

Coyote winced, wringing his hands as he took a step forward. "Big Brother… we… we know where the portal is now, and where the filth's lair is." He tried. "We could have Geuse and his woman. If we had the woman, we could have Nic-AAAAAAHHHH!" Coyote dove out of the way as the still flaming fifth throne smashed into the wall just above his head.

Eris flashed to the raging god's side, wrapping her arms firmly around his waist. "Love… easy. Loki will be fine once we have Nick back. Maui is finally mended… And Coyote is right." She soothed as Ahriman panted in her arms. "These are just minor setbacks. Look at what we've accomplished so far." Her lips found the side of his neck, petal soft as they soothed him. "We know how to get to Lydia. We can find a substitute for Loki's powers.

* * *

Lydia sneezed, rubbing her nose with a frown.

"Someone must be talkin' 'bout ya Babes."

"Please. I hardly believe in that nonsense."

Betel cackled. "But ya hang around with dead people."

Lydia rolled her eyes, jotting down the final few answers for her sociology class. "Blah blah blah. Can you toss me another soda please?"

Betel cocked a brow, digging into the box for another orange can. "Ya know ya've gone through like, nine of those in the past two hours?"

"I'm on a roll, hotstuff." She murmured, flipping her book closed and tossing it onto her pillow. "I'm actually _ahead _in my classes. Can you believe that? Insanity." Lydia popped the top on the can, gulping down half the fizzing drink in one go.

Betel snapped his fingers and a toothpick appeared out of thin air between his lips. He was bored, yes. Very. Lydia just _insisted _on fulfilling her 'mortal responsibilities' though.

Lydia leaned back on the mattress, crossing her legs at the ankle as she sipped her soda. "I… um… may have found something on Nathoniel DePaul."

Betel blinked, gesturing with his beer. "Well, go on."

"He and his wife had a baby named Benjamin, right?"

Betel nodded. "Yeah…"

"Well in the early thirteen seventies, around the time you would have been in your late thirties, I found a record of a Benjamin DePaul who died under suspicious circumstances. I was looking through the history of a few of churches around the border of France, and one of them had a timeline attached with the names of those who died during that year. Apparently Benjamin was found floating face-down in the river."

"Suicide?"

"Not unless he shot himself in the back of the head."

"Ouch." Betel twisted the pick in his teeth, frowning hard. "Be a sucky way ta die."

"Yeah… that's all I could find though."

"Nothin' on Tobias or Nathon? Sucks. Wonder if maybe information on that would be in the unburned part of the library…"

Lydia's eyes lit up and she jumped off the bed, throwing her arms around his neck. "Then lets go! I need my Neitherworld fix."

Betel grimaced, lifting his hands to grip her forearms. "I dunno Babes…"

Lydia's eyes widened in shock. "Why not?"

Betel let out a low sigh. "Juno."

"Juno? She _gave _me the clothes and the chant."

"Yeah…" Betel shrugged. "But she didn't realize how often I took ya there. Think she meant it ta be like… as little as possible. She thinks it's bad fer yer health."

Lydia's expression was incredulous as she stared open-mouthed up at him. "You're actually listening to Juno?" She asked. Betel only shrugged in response. "Who are you, and what have you done with my poltergeist?"

Betel chuckled, reaching out to ruffle her hair. "Fine, but if I get chewed out I'm throwin' ya ta the wolves."

Lydia glared up at him. "I finally have sex with you and yet you'll still throw me to the wolves?"

Betel leered down at her. "Oh yeah. You'd do the same."

Lydia thought about that for a moment. "Fair enough. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetejuice."

Lydia yelped in pain as they moved through the void, clutching wildly at Betel as the darkness consumed them. She felt him dig his claws into her arm and try to pull her towards him but Lydia slipped from his grasp and yanked out into Oblivion.

Lydia swallowed as she moved through the freezing void, spinning around on the invisible floor as she tried to find her bearings.

The flying feeling suddenly stopped, and Lydia felt the floor beneath her become more substantial.

In the next second, a small dot of light appeared at the edge of the darkness, and Lydia thought for a horrible minute that she had died.

Then the floor was zooming forward, carrying her towards the light and she could hear voices.

"Brothers! Sisters! Friends! Are you ready to be free of this wretched hole?"

Lydia gasped, recognizing the voice at the same time that his face entered her vision. All around her, pale, ragged green forms danced and clawed, trying to free themselves.

She was in the Lost Souls Room.

Lydia reached out a hand, trying to call for Nick but her voice caught in her throat. As she began to panic she felt another sharp tug in her gut and was sent flying backwards.

Lydia arrived in the Waiting Room in a tornado of papers, and was pulled instantly forward through the doors and up the stairs to Juno's office.

"Lydia, what _have _you done?!" The old woman screech before Lydia could even drop into the dusty chair.

The Goth glared at Juno, planting her fists on her hips. "I have no idea. I was trying to come here with Beej, but we… were separated I guess. And then I saw Nick outside the Lost Souls Room and now here I am."

Juno blinked. "You saw Nick?"

"Yeah, why?"

Juno waved her hand. "Not important. What you're here now to discuss is the bonehead move you made last month!" The caseworker smacked her palm against her desktop, biting down savagely on the end of her smoke. "What did you say to him on the Lost Souls Highway when the worm attacked? I need to know _exactly._"

Lydia shrugged. "I couldn't tell you _exactly. _Um… I told him to stop fighting with Nick… Um… I told him the worm was after me, and he tried to lure the worm towards us. Then when Nick tried to stop him, he, Betelgeuse, asked me if I trusted him, and I said I did-"

"You said: 'I do'."

Lydia frowned thoughtfully. "I suppose I did."

Juno slumped in her chair, shaking her head as she grimaced at the Goth. "Of course. Lydia… you realized you completed another part of the marriage ceremony by pledging to him in that way?"

Lydia frowned. "Elaborate Juno, please. Because I have no idea why you are freaking about this."

Juno sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Lydia... Do you know who Nathoniel and Tobias are?"

Lydia held up a hand and wiggled it palm-down. "Sort of. Beej and I have had a few dreams of them I guess."

"Figures… Well, Nathoniel and Tobias lived before the peak of the Black Plague, in the early thirteen hundreds. Nathoniel was an officer of the law, one of the last left alive in the isolated little French village. The plague came to the city by a merchant that had rats in his fruit. Anyway, Tobias was a powerful witch, or warlock if you prefer, that used the devastation of the plague to practice more freely. He raped, tortured and killed. Finally, he let himself be exposed, though no one understood why: he raped a young woman by the name of Marie Bouvier, carved a curse of his own making into her belly, and impregnated her." Juno sighed, rubbing her temple as she tried to remember the story. "Nathoniel DePaul arrested and hung Tobias, but before the lever was pulled, Tobias cursed Nathon. Tobias told Nathon that he would bring a monster unlike the world had ever seen into the world with his bare hands. A few months later, Nathon delivered his own son when his wife went into labour prematurely. The child was born with the exact same eyes as Tobias: a shocking, unnatural blue."

Lydia's eyes widened and she shifted slightly in her seat as she flashed back to seeing Betel's eyes change all that time ago.

Juno snubbed out her spent cigarette and pulled a fresh one from her pocket. "A priest was called, and the child was blessed." Juno stared hard at Lydia. "The priest prayed that the evil inside the child would be locked away, and that goodness give him a second chance. He prayed that a good soul would be sent to tame the wild soul of the baby." Juno fell silent, still staring hard at Lydia.

And then she understood with a gasp. "Betelgeuse was the baby…"

"And I've no doubt that you're the soul meant to 'tame' him. It's not possible thought Lydia." Juno held up her hand for silence as Lydia tried to protest. "Lydia. He was bad during his living years, though he kept it well hidden from his family, using many aliases and covering all of his tracks. He was an expert conman, and more than once a murderer."

Lydia sucked in a breath, biting the inside of her cheek.

"He was killed by his partner in crime when they busted a huge con. His partner… can't remember her name, shot him in the back of the head while he was sleeping, and shoved him off the bridge into the river."

Lydia's face fell. What a horrible way to die.

"He was stuck in the waiting room for a long time, but his powers, Tobias' powers, finally manifested. They went haywire. Caused quite a bit of damage too. Phoebe never quit forgave him, which is why those two are at each other's throats every time he gets in there. Anyway, he somehow managed to escape the Waiting Room, and found his way back to France. I think he was trying to find his parents, or something that he could remember. Tobias' powers wiped nearly all of his memories. He found a church where his father happened to be, and was trying to get past the holy barriers when a young man walked through his incorporeal body. Betel unintentionally possessed him, and once the boy crossed the threshold the holy barriers began to burn Betel. The priest realized the boy was possessed, so he and Nathoniel performed an exorcism. I arrived just in time to yank Betel's soul from the boy, and brought him right back here." Juno sighed, rubbing her forehead. "We sealed Tobias' powers away, but Betel was powerful to begin with. And then of course that _stupid _wedding…"

"Explain that, please." Lydia asked. "He said he wanted out, and that was the only way."

"He meant it was the only way to be free of us." Juno explained with a grimace. "He would get all of his power back, and would no longer be under the thumb of the powers that be. But he fucked up." Juno took a deep breath, and blew a ring of smoke from the slit in her throat. "He only started the ceremony. If the two of you had said 'I do' before he tried to get the ring on, the marriage would have gone through. As it was, the jackass had to show off and act stupid, so we breathed a sigh of relief. His powers were still locked away."

"So…"

Juno rolled her eyes. "So in May when you saved him I began to realize what had happened. You were his 'tamer'. You, of all people it had to be." Juno shook her head. "Ahriman was right, you do have power Lydia, but it's not flashy like Betel's. Your power seems to be the ability to cause me a whole fucking load of uneeded paperwork."

Lydia grimaced, holding up her hands in defeat. Her mind was reeling. She was supposed to 'tame' Betelgeuse? What the hell was that all about?! "I'm still lost Juno. Beej isn't exactly a saint, but he isn't a monster. And I don't get it- powers? Subtle powers?"

Juno growled. "My point exactly. You have the power to keep Betel the way he is, or turn him into a monster according to Tobias' wishes. In simple terms, you control him, powers and all. It was why you could bring him back from the Lost Souls room. It's why you can survive the transfer between the worlds without your soul being damaged." Now Juno's face clouded over, and her expression became almost fearful as her eyes fell to Lydia's stomach. "And it's why you're able to carry his baby."

* * *

**Short, sorry, I know, but I felt it was an appropriate place to cut it off.**

**Bet you didn't see that coming, did you? =D.**

**Yeah, I'm a bitch like that.**

**Nick:** WTF?!?!?! First you make me an evil fucking psychopath and now you make Lydia pregnant with that thing's baby?!?!

**Me:** You sir, signed up for the job of being evil. And yes I did make her preggers.

**Betel:** *speechless*

**Lydia:** Beej? Beej?

**Me:** Well, while I fend Nick off and write the next chapter, here are the replies to your reviews.

**Nick:** JORDASH! YOU MUST DIE!

**Prats 'R' Us: **I was thinking boy, but then I was thinking girl. I'm going to wait until this installment is over, then set up a poll with all the suggested names for everyone to vote on. And uh… *grins* no need for that to happen now. They have their own baby. But yeah, he/she will have fun growing up with a half-poltergeist niece/nephew.

**RaversAnthem:** Those are some good names… I was thinking Alexander because it sounds like an old master painter or something. And I did try, I wanted a more comedic chapter since actual apocalypse crap is about to go down.

**LoliPear: **I was thinking about bringing some whore in because Beej is weak, to add some drama. But I'm split, since there is already so much shit happening and Lydia has basically become nympho for him. =P. xD. Glad you enjoyed!

**SeductressofDarkness: **I thought that they would indeed have grown into something like that. Because if you pay attention in the movie, Delia is like, right there trying to protect Lydia and shield her from Betelgeuse. And I will see what I can do about the angstyness. I would love to read your paper, thank you!

**BlackRose-FlowerofDeath: **Did this sufficiently sate you? =D. Glad you enjoyed!

**Ceysna: **Yep, both of them are preggers, isn't that wild? =P. Lol, a mini Delia would indeed be scary, but instead of sculptures (Delia) or photography (Lydia) I thought I would either do fashion (if it was a girl) or like, those big crazy 'art' scenes where people throw paint on things or trash stuff and put it together and take pictures. Like, 'modern art'.


	22. Things Start Faling Into Place

Lydia could hardly breathe as a hand curled over her stomach. Her expression became one of frantic pain and panic. "I… I… no." Lydia shook her head, hugging herself as Juno fixed her with a sympathetic frown. "Juno… That's not even possible! He's _dead_!" Lydia felt a panic attack gripping her as she jumped up from the chair, shaking her head as she held herself. "I… Juno I can't be _pregnant!"_

Juno sighed. "You are Lydia. Only two weeks. Two weeks exactly Lydia."

Lydia whimpered, shaking her head. That would mean… That would mean their first…

The very first time?

And then something flashed into her mind: the feeling when they reached their peaks the first time, of fire spreading through her insides, filling her with light and warmth and weightlessness.

Lydia collapsed back into the chair, rubbing her hand in circles on her belly. "Juno…"

Juno sighed, scratching her cheek. "Well you are. And…" Juno frowned. "I have no idea what to do. The Powers That Be… They've never seen anything like this, and they've been around since the beginning of time." Juno shook her head again. "Of course, we've never had someone quite like you on our hands, have we?"

Lydia didn't seem to hear her as she pressed her hand against her stomach. "Pregnant…"

"-have an idea on how to get rid of it-"

"WHAT?!"

Juno jumped as Lydia sun to face her, furious. "Lydia… you can't have that thing, it could kill you!"

Lydia snorted. "So?" Her arms curled protectively around her stomach. "You aren't touching my baby."

Juno stared at her, incredulous. "Lydia, ten seconds ago you were having a panic attack because of this, and now you want to _keep _it?!"

Lydia glared at the caseworker. "Juno, you have no idea how much I'm panicking right now. But you aren't touching my baby." Her expression softened, became almost sad as she looked down at her stomach. "You aren't touching Betelgeuse's baby…"

Juno's eyes widened. "Lydia… Lydia don't do this, don't be stupid! Have you ever heard of Stockholm syndrome?"

Lydia nodded. "Yes, hero worship too. Maybe that _could _explain my feelings for him, but they don't." Lydia finally lifted her head, staring off into space as she held herself. "He's my best friend. He's my lover. He's my husband." Lydia's eyes widened as she came to a conclusive realization. "And I love him."

* * *

Ahriman stared coolly down at shapes writhing at his feet.

The shadows began to morph, meld together and rise from the pool only to fall back, unable to create a substantial form.

"Glorious." Eris breathed.

Anansi's fangs clicked together as he wove webs from midair, watching the shadows nervously. Coyote, you are sure of this, yes?"

Coyote nodded, glancing sideways at Ahriman. "Positive. I heard of this place many decades ago when travelling through Australia. The Soul Fountain. The remains of all evil souls exorcised or hellbound. Dominick has his little soul army, the Neitherworld will no doubt come together, and neither army shall compare. Ten Thousand soldiers created from the purest of evil…" Coyote grinned. "And all the makings of an apocalypse."

* * *

Juno flicked her spent cigarette butt out the window in an attempt to relieve some or her rage. It did nothing to help.

"Tell me what the big deal was about the I do."

Juno grimaced. "It's part of the ceremony, of course. The ceremony was interrupted when neither you nor Betel said 'I do'."

"I'm sure we've both said 'I do' since then. To a lot of people."

Juno shook her head. "It doesn't matter. You could say it to anyone else, you could say it in everyday conversation to each other." Juno tapped her fingers against the desk, agitated. "The ceremony calls for both participants to pledge themselves to one another. When you said 'I do', and put your trust in Betel, the binding spells accepted that as you pledging yourself to him, and you opened one of the floodgates for his powers."

Lydia frowned, thinking hard. "He did seem to get better really fast once we landed."

"Because you kept around him. You two have been in-fucking-seperable, and it's letting his powers slip through our restraints."

Lydia had to restrain her smug smirk that wanted so desperately to break through. "So… he's free of you?"

"No." Juno grimaced. "His power will continue to slip through for a while until that level of our restraints are drained."

Lydia straightened in her chair, glaring at the caseworker. "Juno, tell me how to complete the marriage ceremony. Tell me how to release his powers."

Juno's eyes widened with a mixture of shock and outrage. "Are you insane?"

Lydia pushed herself out of the chair. "I'm going to have his child. Seven crazy bastards are trying to kill us and destroy both the Breathing and Neither worlds." Lydia touched her stomach again, just the tips of her fingers. "If I'm in control of… his 'powers' then I have a right to have a say in what happens to them. No-" Lydia held up her hand, realizing that was, in fact, wrong. "If I control his powers, then I have ALL the fucking say!"

Juno's mouth popped open as she stared up at the furious Goth. "Lydia-"

But Lydia shook her head. "He's not an angel Juno, but he's no monster." Lydia fisted her hand against her belly, her glare determined. "And I won't let him become one."

"And how do you propose to do that?"

Lydia shrugged. "No idea, but he's not going to become a monster. I swear to you, on…" Lydia lowered her eyes, pressing both hands to her stomach. "I swear on our child, I will never let him become a monster."

The office was silent as Juno fumed. She had no way out of this though… She could refuse Lydia, but Juno couldn't see how that would help. And… Lydia did rightfully hold all the reins thanks to that bastard warlock and the stupid marriage ceremony… And Lydia did have a good, straight head. She knew what she was doing...

"This ceremony is exact." Juno murmured. Lydia looked up, surprised but grateful as Juno continued. "Most of it has to happen exactly. There has to be a priest, witnesses, 'I do's', the ring." Juno sighed. "Unfortunately for us, most of this has been taken care of. The priest pronounced you man and wife. You've said your 'I do'. Betel must say his, and then he must place the ring on your finger, and finally the kiss." Juno grimaced. "And then all of his powers will return to him. Slowly because of our safeguards, or he would overload and would surely revert back to what he was."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

* * *

Betel clutched wildly to Lydia's arm, trying to drag her closer as the unknown force dug its claws into her, trying to pull her back into the void.

Her arm slipped from his grip as the void spat him out onto the Lost Souls Highway in front of the Roadhouse.

"LYDIA!" Betel spun around, trying to contain his panic. Lydia was nowhere to be found. Hell, he couldn't even fucking sense her! Where the hell was she?! "LYDIA! LYDIA WHERE ARE YOU?!?!"

"Be-a-tal-juice! What is going on?"

Betel spun as Jacques and monster came tearing over the dip in the highway, obviously on patrol. For the moment, Betel didn't care that Monster was there, where he normally would have groaned and made life difficult for the hairy cowboy, but he was too intent on Lydia to care. He reached out to grab Jacques shoulders, giving the skeleton a crazed shake. "Lydia! We were coming here from her dorm and she just fucking disappeared!"

Monster gripped the poltergeist's upper arms, lifting him up into the air. "Woah, calm down bug-brains, now what _exactaly_ happened ta miss Lydia? Slowly now."

Betel took a deep breath. "We… we were going through the void… and… something started pulling her…" Betel shook his head, pulling at his hair with both hands. "And she just fucking disappeared!"

Jacques grabbed Betel's wrists, pushing them down to his sides. "Calm down Be-a-tal-juice, we will find 'er."

Betel nodded, pulling himself from their grips. "I'm… gonna see if maybe jumping a few times'll work, maybe I'll be able ta catch her. You guys go tell Juno."

Jacques and Monster nodded, disappearing at the same time Betel did.

He hopped through the void, and landed somewhere downtown. He felt nothing.

He knew this was a stupid plan, it could never really work. But the thought of his little breather, his Babes floating helplessly through that freezing darkness for all eternity made his vision haze over red.

He jumped again, coasting through the Neitherwoods. He didn't stop there, but jumped immediately back into the void.

He lost track of how many times he bounced through the darkness, each time with his arms moving through the darkness, hoping against hope that he would find some trace of her.

Just as he prepared to make another jump, he felt the unmistakable tug of a summons deep in his gut, and was forced through the void into Juno's office.

He had time to see Juno, Jacques and Monster exchanging horrified glances before Lydia practically tackled him around the neck, crushing her lips against his. "Dumbass!" God her voice was like magic. He felt his arms wrap around her, lifting her into the air and deepening the kiss before she could really pull away.

"What the fuck was that? Disappearin' off ta who knows where!" Betel set her back down, glaring at the Goth as he gripped her upper arms (probably tighter than he meant to) and shook her. "What happened?!"

Lydia put a hand against his chest, not to shove him away but to soothe him. "It's okay, Juno summoned me."

Betel glared at Juno. "Why?!"

Juno snarled, clenching her smoke tightly between her thumb and pointer finger. "None of your damn business. I needed to talk to Lydia."

"Bout what?"

Lydia pat her hand against his chest. "Don't worry about it Beej, she just wanted to check in on things." She kissed the end of his nose and slipped her hand into his. "Come on Beej, let's go back to the Roadhouse, I'm… tired."

Betel frowned, looking over her shoulder at Juno, but Lydia pulled him towards the door, and they disappeared.

Jacques shook his head. "Juno… 'ow can zis be?"

The caseworker sighed. "I don't know. But… Lydia's powers… they mixed with Betel's somehow, and created the child."

"Now wait just a minute, Juno." Monster interrupted. "Now how can ya be sure? S'only been two weeks ya said!"

Juno tapped her smoke, knocking away some of the ash. "Have you sensed Lydia? Really felt for her aura? Her power levels have gone through the roof. And…" Juno shook her head. "The Powers That Be sensed a fluctuation in their powers, and searched Lydia. They found the fetus forming inside her, and informed me."

"And 'ow do zey feel about zis?"

"They see it as another way to control him and…" Juno sighed. "They want the baby. The shiny new toy."

Monster growled. "That just ain't right! That's miss Lydia's baby it is! It ain't a damn toy!"

Jacques nodded. "Be-a-tal-juice would not stand for zis if 'e knew."

Juno shrugged. "We can't know that. Lydia doesn't believe it. But Lydia doesn't want to tell him yet. She's afraid he'll be upset, and try to get rid of the baby to protect her."

"I still do not zink zat Be-a-tal-juice would ever kill 'is own child." Jacques ordered. "Look at what 'e did for 'is family while 'e was alive!"

Monster crossed his arms. "Well… whatevah happens, I'm on miss Lydia's side. I like that gal, got a good head on'er shoulders. Good girl she is."

Juno grimaced. "Whatever happens I doubt will be very easy on anyone, especially that poor girl…" Juno shook her head. "Lydia Deetz has the worst luck of any person, alive or dead I've ever met.

* * *

Later that night, once Betel had zapped them back to her dorm, Lydia rolled over onto her side beneath the sheet, slipping her arm across her husband's waist, sliding her leg over his and pulling herself closer to him. She felt his arm automatically slip under her and wrap around her shoulders as he snored away.

How would he feel about a baby?

Lydia grimaced, burying her face into his shoulder in an attempt to stop her tears. What if he, like Juno, wanted to destroy the baby?

Lydia's free hand curled around her belly, hugging her unborn child.

_My baby… Beej's baby. This is so much to take in… too much… first I end up giving in and having sex with him… then I realize in nine months I'm going to have his baby and that I love him… Actually love him…_ Lydia sniffled, tightening her grip on him as she slipped into a light, fitful sleep. _But what if he doesn't feel the same?_

* * *

Her first dream was of a tiny blond girl with striking blue eyes. Her hair would fall to her butt if it wasn't tied back in a long braid. She was an almost perfect image of Betelgeuse. There were a few things though, besides the gender, that didn't fit. The smaller, more elfin nose and the rounder eyes. The higher cheek bones, the slightly softer point in the chin. And the splash of freckles across her bright little face.

The little girl laughed and held up her cupped hands, inviting Lydia closer to see what she had caught.

The dream changed quickly, and Lydia found herself back in the lost souls room as Nick gestured to the souls.

"Wouldn't you like to be free to have your revenge on those that cursed you here?"

The souls around Lydia howled and groaned, clawing their way closer to him.

"I can set you free." Nick said with a grin, flexing his claws.

Lydia shook her head, horrified. What had happened to him?! She moved closer to the frame, reaching a hand out for him as she took in all of the changes.

It hadn't been that long! But his hair had grown out, falling past his ears in shaggy curtains that reminded her vaguely of Betelgeuse. His eyes were no longer that warm, rich forest green that Lydia loved: they were a rainbow of hues, every color in and between the rainbow, all swirling and changing in the iris. There were heavy rings around his eyes which were wide with madness. He wore a fitted black business suit with a red undershirt, but no shoes, like he'd forgotten to put some on. And then there were his nails, and his _teeth._

Lydia shook her head, backing away from the monster. That was what he was: a monster. This was no longer her Nick.

She closed her eyes, trying to force herself to wake up as the imposter Nick spoke again. "I can set you free friends, but I would require your services first." Nick waited, but the souls fell silent. "You see, I want my revenge as well, against the Gods of Chaos and Betelgeuse." Nick clenched his fist, gritting his teeth as he stared into the eyes of the ragged souls. "These 'gods' killed my sister, and nearly killed the woman I love. They took advantage of me, manipulated me, lied to me, and they must pay. Geuse stole my Lydia, brainwashed her and made her loyal to him." Nick gestured behind him. "The 'leaders' of this dead world have thrown us aside, forgotten about us my friends. Come with me, help me destroy this world and get my revenge, and I shall set you free." The ghosts screeched in agreeance, flooding the gate as Nick grinned down at them. "Most excellent."

* * *

Lydia gasped, shooting straight up as the souls around her screeched again.

"Wha… huh?" Betel blinked, pushing himself up beside her as he tried in vain to rub the sleep from his eyes. His arm curled protectively around her middle, pulling her trembling body against his side. "S'wrong? S'matter?"

Lydia sobbed softly, turning into his side as the gravity of the situation hit her. "Nick… Nick he… he went to the Lost Souls Room! He…" She shook her head, pulling herself into the confused ghost's lap as she cried into his shoulder. "He's letting them out. He's going to destroy the whole Neitherworld because he thinks you stole me from him! He wants to kill you, kill everyone!"

Betel wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head as her shoulders shook from the force of her sobs. "Easy Babes, breathe. S'okay."

"No!" Lydia shook her head, trying to pull herself away from him. "It's not, it was horrible! He was all warped and… and didn't even look like himself! He was going to let them out to attack everyone Beej! We have to go see Juno have to-"

"No." Betel arms tightened around her, completely immobilizing her arms as she struggled to jump up. "Babes… we already know. Juno knew."

"Wh… what?"

Betel pressed his lips to her temple. "I'll tell ya if ya calm down and breathe."

Lydia sniffled, choking down a few gulps of air as she fought to calm herself. "What does Juno know?"

"While we were on Saturn, they caught the little guy, the twitchy one. Loki. Juno wanted Nick ta see if he could get anythin' outta him, but Loki wouldn' talk." Betel pushed Lydia back down onto the mattress, pulling her back against his chest. "Nick gouged out the guy's eyes, and took'em fer his own and bounced off. Started doin' the same ta other ghouls ta gain power."

Lydia shook her head. "But _why _though?! And why the eyes?"

Betel shrugged. "The heart's the power core, literally, even in breathers. S'what an exorcism is: destroys the body, which is like the shield, then goes fer the heart." Betel found himself absently trying to comfort her as his hand rubbed in slow circles over her back. "Ya can take another floater's power, but it's some dangerous, complicated magic. Yer mixin yer soul with another, and it can be a dangerous thing. The other soul can overwhelm ya, and take ya over and go back to its body. Then ya both usually end up gettin' exorcised."

"How do you take another ghoul's power?"

"There was a time ya could only do it by rippin' out their heart, but if ya don't do it right, ya end up wipin' yerself from existence. No Souls Room, no Waiting Room, no nothin'. No one knows where the failures went. Eventually, someone found that the eyes were like a second gate. Ya loose a lotta the power in the transfer, but the ghoul is left like a shell. Still up'n runnin', but they can't see, jump from place ta place, even float. They can't do anythin'. Lotta of'em go crazy, and end up unable ta move on so they exorcise themselves."

"That's horrible."

"Yeah. What did the guy look like? Were his eyes changin' colors a lot?"

"Yes. He looked horrible, like a real ghoul." Lydia shivered. "I can't get the image out of my head…"

Betel sighed, settling more comfortably onto the pillow. "Don't worry Babes. Sounds like he's bitin' off more'n he can probably chew. He's gonna fuck himself over, s'matter of time. Get some sleep."

Lydia bit her lip, burying her face into Betel's chest. She should have felt comforted by that, Nick was, after all, apparently spiraling away from the Nick she knew.

All she felt was blind panic.

Lydia'd been wrong. They weren't going to be the death of her.

They were going to be the death of each other. And _then_ her.

* * *

**Hrmm… I didn't like the end of this chapter much. I think I had a better end at one point, but my computer kept freezing up and I had to keep restarting it.**

**Anyway, there it is. And I though a little more explanation was in order for why Nick stole Loki's eyes.**

**Loki:** Bitch! You make me crazy and pathetic, and now you steal my powers. *tries to stab Jordash*

**Me:** *beats him unconscious* Anyway, I think there was a little confusion in the last chapter, over the I do explanation because I got like, four PMs on it, so I went back and fixed it. I guess I made it sound like she said I do to Nick, but she never did. She said I do to Betelgeuse when he asked her if she trusted him.

**Nick**: *irritated* Why am I still here? Can I have my check so I can go home and forget about this?

**Me:** Anyway, here's the replies to your reviews.

**BlackRose-FlowerofDeath:** Good, I did try. I thought there was so much going on I should go back and explain a few things. There is actually a reason for her being preggers.

**Life4DemiMeg:** I didn't actually plan the first time around on making Delia preggers, but I needed someone for Lydia to be able to turn to. And yay indeed. =). And I hope I cleared up the confusion, I did go back and fix things because she never said I do to Nick. *sweatdrop* That confusion was my bad. But even with that, admittedly interesting idea for a twist out, I don't plan to make this baby thing any easier on poor Lydia.

**RaversAnthem: **Yeah, I know. And I'm not sure on the gender. But every fan pic and fan fic I've ever seen shows them having a girl, so I'm probably going for boy. And I have no names yet for either of them. And you'll just have to wait and see how he finds out. ;). Glad you enjoyed.

**LoliPear: **You, are a tough customer! xD. Lydia has to be pregnant for the end of my story to come out right. I never intended for her to be pregnant either, but when I was boning out the end of the plot, things weren't coming together right. The pregnancy was the third idea I had to tie everything together, and the other two sucked hard-boiled eggs, so Lydia had to become pregnant.

**Ceysna: **Lol, don't hit the ceiling fan. Lol, you guys have some wild, inventive ideas for this story, for which I am grateful. That's an excellent idea, and I'll see what I can do. Thanks, glad you enjoyed it so much! xD. ZOMG! *accepts can gratefully and sprays directly in Nick's eyes* Thank you!

**Prats 'R' Us: **Glad you enjoyed! Vote has been counted, and I'll update asap.


	23. The Word Misfortune Was Made For Me

Betel frowned at the back of Lydia's head as she clacked away at the keyboard.

"Lyds."

Lydia ignored him as she tapped out another paragraph.

"Babes?"

Lydia sighed, turning to stare at him with an expression that was too exhausted to be irritated with him. "What?"

Betel floated forward, leaning down closer to her. "What's wrong?"

_YOU'RE HAVING A BABY! YOU'RE HAVING A BABY! YOU'RE GOING TO BE A DADDY AND I'M GOING TO BE A MOMMY AND I'M FREAKING OUT! _Lydia shook her head. "Don't worry about it." _Not yet._

"Don't lie Babes."

Lydia sighed, turning back to her essay as she considered what to tell him. She didn't want to lie to him, but she was afraid of what his thoughts would be. All she could imagine was him trying to juice her baby, _their _baby out of her. "I'm… a little worried about Delia and her baby… and a little jealous."

"Why ya worried?"

Lydia shrugged, re-reading the intro to her paper in an attempt to appear nonchalant. "Well she isn't exactly young Beej… and she's never been pregnant before. And I don't know… Delia's a bit… well flaky. She's ditzy. I don't know…"

Betel's eyes narrowed, but he let it go. "So why ya jealous? Think they're gonna ignore ya?"

"No." Lydia glanced sideways at him, but as he just scratched the end of his nose, uncomprehending, Lydia decided to push it. "I'm with you Beej. I only want to be with you. And you're dead." Betel frowned, but remained silent. "I… well I always sort of wanted kids."

"Oh… Why?"

Lydia blinked, turning to stare at him. "But… but didn't you ever want kids?"

Betel grimaced, shaking his head. "Nah. Never liked kids much. Can't really remember if I did when I was alive, but I've always sorta thought havin' a kid would be a misfortune."

Lydia turned away, trying to hide her despair. "Oh…"

Betel frowned, leaning forward to pat a hand against her shoulder. "Well… ya'll have yer brother'r sister."

Lydia felt her heart break as her arm curled around her stomach. "I suppose."

* * *

Nick grinned manically down at his army from the top of the arch as they pulled themselves through the ancient barrier.

It was slow going, but soon he would have a massive army the likes of which no one had ever seen. He would storm the cities and burn them to the ground. He would steal the powers of every being that fell before him.

And when his power surpassed Ahriman's and Betelgeuse's, he would find them, and crush them.

And then Lydia would be safe.

Nick's expression fell, and some of his old self began to leak through. He touched the collar of his suit, lifted a bare foot to examine his dirty soles. Would she like his suit? He needed to find a matching pair of shoes…

Nick's hand touched his shaggy, tangled hair and horror crossed his face as he felt the snarled clumps. He snapped his fingers and a metal-tooth comb, a mirror, and a pair of shearing scissors appeared in midair.

Nick examined himself in the mirror as the comb and scissors floated beside his ear. "Keep it longer, but trim it up. Make it look nice." The scissors and comb began to attack his hair, making him grimace in pain as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "Or maybe Lydia would like it short again…"

Nick sighed, examining his eyes and sunken cheeks. Well… hopefully she could look past it… of course Lydia would.

Lydia wasn't some shallow bitch.

With that reassuring thought, Nick smiled brightly. "Soon Lydia. You'll be safe with me soon."

* * *

The Prince grimaced as he stared out across the dismal gray plains that surrounded his castle.

He waved his hand through the air, and a hole ripped through reality, swirling with color as Vince stared into the tear. The shadows began to move within, forming the image of the future Vince needed to see.

He saw Nick hovering above the ragged Lost Souls as they fought past one another, stumbling over the ground as the approached from the east.

The image shifted, and Vince looked down upon the globs of oily shadow slithering across the ground at the feet of these so-called gods.

"Niehest."

The man that stepped forward was tall, gaunt, and his skin was a sick, pale yellow. His eyes were a bright, glowing neon yellow behind the modified skull he used as a helmet. His armor was a mismatched assortment of worn leather and battered iron, and he carried a sick, twisted sword at his side. "Milord." He spoke with a thick German accent.

"Niehest, gather your men and prepare yourselves." Vince turned finally from the image, his normally depressed gray eyes alive with a wild storm. "They attack in less than a week. Dominick from the north with an army of Lost Souls, and the gods from the south with an army created from the Fountain of Souls."

"Yes Milord."

Vince grimaced, turning back to look at the image. He waved his hand again, looking for their own army.

But the image disappeared.

Vince blinked. "Niehest, spread the word of the war." Vince waved his hand again, but the image just fizzled and faded away once more. "Any ghoul wishing to join should be sought out and brought back to my palace."

"Yes Milord."

* * *

Betel felt a tug in his gut, and pushed off the bed, scratching his head. "Gettin' summoned."

Lydia blinked, startled by the news. "Should I come?"

Betel thought about that for a moment, frowning down at her. "…No…" He said slowly. "Juno prob'ly just wants ta yell at me'r somethin'. You stay here'n get some rest Babes."

Lydia stood and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him down for a quick kiss. It was when they parted, and her eyes met his, that her mouth took on a life of its own. Not to kiss him, but to tell him one of the things she'd been dying to tell him and only recently realized. "I love you."

Betel's eyes widened, and he looked away, startled by the admission. Did she just…? Betel swallowed, opening his mouth to try and respond… But he couldn't get anything to come out. "Huuuuuh…" Betel coughed and leaned down to kiss her forehead as the final summons pulled him through the void.

Lydia sighed, rubbing her arm. "Yeah…" She murmured. "I thought so." The Goth shook her head and crossed the floor to her door, feeling suddenly very dehydrated. Lydia looked around as she slouched into the kitchen, hyperaware of the fact that she was completely alone.

Of course.

Lydia pulled a glass down from the cupboard, and opened the cold water tap.

_He told me he cared though. Cares enough to fuck my brains out and still stick by me, take care of me… So I guess it doesn't count as taking advantage of me… does it? _Lydia clutched the glass tightly as she took a sip. _So he does care about me. He just doesn't care like that._ Lydia's hand rubbed over her stomach. _And he thinks his baby is a drag… _Lydia set the cup down, grimacing. "Well… we'll make him see how wrong he is about you baby." She murmured. "He'll change his mind once he sees you. Once he can hold you."

Lydia shook her head, gulping down the rest of her water.

She needed to talk.

She needed another woman who could understand all of this…

She needed Barbara.

She set the glass aside and raced back to her room, dropping onto the stool in front of the vanity. She rapped her knuckles against the glass. "Barbara Barbara Barbara! Barbara, I really need to talk to you!"

Barbara's head suddenly appeared in the mirror, but it didn't stop there. Her entire body began to melt through the glass.

Lydia moved backwards until her knees buckled against the edge of the bed, and she scooted back until her back hit the wall.

Barbara settled onto the stool, shocked but smiling. "Lydia, sweetie, what's up?"

Lydia opened her mouth, but she didn't know what to say. Or, more where to start.

She made a desperate, lost sound and shrugged, shaking her head. "Barbara… I don't… don't even know where to start. Everything's going to hell…"

Barbara frowned. "What's going to hell? Start at the beginning."

Lydia stared up at the ghostly woman, and paled slightly. "I… I've been…" Lydia took a deep breath. "Don't freak, please? I'm panicking enough as it is. But… I've benavinseswithbeej…"

Barbara frowned. "Huh?"

"I… I've been… having sex…" Lydia cringed, waiting for the angry Barbara to show up. "With Betelgeuse."

Barbara shook her head. "I'm sorry, what?"

Lydia sighed. "A lot, and no, Barbara." Lydia shifted uncomfortably. "I can assure you that I was in no way pushed into this."

Barbara clapped her hands to her head, completely disbelieving. "Lydia… Lydia you let Betel-"

Lydia groaned, throwing her hands into the air. "Barbara, _I_ was the one to jump _his _bones, can we move past this?!"

Barbara jumped up, leaning forward to grip Lydia's shoulders and give her a shake. "Are you crazy, why would you do that?! He's-"

Lydia pulled herself from Barbara's grip. "I know Barbara, I know, but I didn't call you because I wanted to fight about my sex life! I called you because I'm pregnant!" Lydia clapped a hand to her mouth, letting out a hissed breath as she closed her eyes. _Dammit…_

"You're…"

"It's Beej's." Lydia grumbled, avoiding the look of terror on her godmother's face. "I'm only three weeks in."

Barbara shook her head. "Then how can you know?"

Lydia sighed before she launched into the story of the birthday (leaving the actual 'present' out of it) and how she'd realized Betel really did care for her, to the getting lost in the void and seeing Nick, and finding out from Juno about Tobias and Nathoniel and the Powers That Be figuring out she was pregnant.

Lydia was furious to find that there were now tears in her eyes. "And… And Juno wants to 'get rid' of the baby, and I was afraid Beej did too. So… I… I tried to find out how he would feel and I told him I was sort of jealous of Delia because I would never be able to have kids, and… and he said having a baby would be a _misfortune!"_ Lydia dropped her face into her hands.

Barbara made a quiet noise of sympathy and moved to sit on the mattress beside Lydia, pulling the sobbing Goth into her arms. "Lydia… shh, don't cry sweetheart. Don't, we'll figure this out."

Lydia grabbed Barbara's arm, shaking her head. "I don't even know why, but this morning, I had to tell him how I felt, so I told him I loved him." Lydia shook her head again. "He didn't say anything back, he just sort of looked at me before he disappeared."

Barbara grimaced. "This is Betel we're talking about Lydia… though…" Barbara sighed. "He does seem to care about you. Maybe you really do have crazy powers over him."

Lydia chocked out a laugh, hugging the older woman. "Barbara… what am I going to do?"

Barbara frowned, chewing her tongue as she stroked Lydia's hair. "Well… as much as it doesn't make sense to me… you love him right?"

Lydia sniffled and nodded. "I do."

"And… you want to have his…" Barbara took a deep breath, not quite believing the words coming out of her mouth. "You want to have his baby."

Lydia put a hand over her stomach. "Yes… Yes I do."

Barbara sighed, kissing the side of Lydia's head. "Well, then you'll have to tell him, and tell him that you want to keep the baby. And…" Barbara sighed. "As much as I know you're dreading it, as much as you don't want to have to involve them, you need to tell your parents."

Lydia sighed. "Yeah… I can't. Not until I talk to Beej about this. I… I have to give him time. And with all this crap going on in the Neitherworld…"

Barbara hugged the Goth tighter. "Whatever happens Lydia, even as much as we detest that scumbag, you know Adam and I will always love you and take care of you. And you know Charles and Delia would never care, you're their daughter. They love you, and they'll love the baby, no matter who helped you make it."

Lydia sniffled, smiling up at the ghostly woman. "Thanks Barbara. I knew you would help."

* * *

"No…"

Ahriman's sword came down, slicing through the leather padding on Betel's shoulder. The Nick that wasn't her Nick knocked Ahriman's sword away, and thrust his own at the god's stomach. Ahriman blocked and parried, pushing Nick closer to the edge of the cliff. Betel growled, leaping onto the god's back and brought his dagger to Ahriman's throat but Ahriman easily dislodged the poltergeist. Nick rolled out of the way as Ahriman's attention turned to him, and brought his sword down where Betel had been laying on a second before. Betel danced away with a snarl before lunging forward, thrusting his blade up towards Nick's unarmored stomach.

The view changed, and suddenly Lydia was looking down on a complete slaughterfest.

The armies clashed, rolling over one another as dark, congealed blood stained the dirt.

Lydia shook her head, watching in horror as shadows consumed Monster, pale Lost Souls tore Jacques apart. She spotted Juno, looking so strange as she swung a silver blade through the air until a wave of oily shadow and glowing green overwhelmed her.

And there were Adam and Barbara… Lydia screamed as they too were swallowed by the enemy.

Lydia turned, tears staining her cheeks as she thought to beg for Nick to stop this.

But Nick's head lay twenty feet from his body, and Ahriman was in the process of pulling his blade from Betel's chest.

The dream switched again, and suddenly Lydia found herself in a lush green meadow.

All panic seemed to melt from her as she stared around the sunny little patch of Earth. As if on a second thought, Lydia had the urge to look down at herself, and her eyes widened in surprise.

Her belly had swollen, jutting out of her tiny little frame beneath the pale yellow sundress.

"Lydia, my dear."

Lydia looked up, gasping at the beautiful woman that was making her way through the flowers towards her. The woman was about Lydia's height, with long, bushy, raven-black hair. Her eyes were a rich chocolaty brown, the exact same shade and shape as Lydia's.

"M…mom?" Lydia stammered.

The woman smiled and shook her head as her hands came up to cradle her own stomach, swollen with her own pregnancy. Lydia mimicked the move, hesitating slightly as she felt the child move within her.

"No Lydia, but you know me." The woman's smile turned sad. "You felt my rape."

Lydia blinked. "Marie Bouvier."

Marie nodded. "Yes Lydia. You also know me because you came from me."

Lydia's eyes widened. She was… descended from Tobias' rape victim? "I… I'm…"

Marie nodded sadly again. "You are the descendant of Tobias, and the tamer of Betelgeuse."

* * *

**Oh.**

**My.**

**God.**

**We have.**

**100 reviews.**

***confetti canon***

**Hooray! Four more reviews and we've doubled what 'Why Can't My Life Ever Be Simple' got!**

**You guys are the greatest, honestly. The highlight of my day is hearing what you have to say, what you want to see and then writing it up for you.**

**Thanks a million times over everyone!**

**BlackRose-FlowerofDeath:** You want them to get his baby?! xD. No way! Glad you enjoyed, hope you enjoy this one too!

**CassiopiaMM: **I'm excited too. Baby Beej's are always fun to think about. Like… woah. Double trouble! xD. I'm trying to think of something really wild, that wouldn't sound too cheesy with the last name Geuse. xD. I needz helpz! Still haven't decided on anything for Delia either! And yeah, I imagine if Lydia ever did have Betel's kid, she would protect that thing with everything she had. Like a bear. xD. And thanks, I try, and am glad you are pleased!

**Kimberly S: **Thanks! Glad you enjoyed! I can't wait to see what everyone thinks for the end of this installment. *sweatdrop* Little nervous!

**Ceysna: **Lol, I thought it would be a good (hopefully) original idea for how powers worked. Glad you enjoy! And good, don't hit the fan. One, I'm so broke I probably couldn't even replace the smallest splinter. ;). Two, that would be bad if you got your head lopped off because you enjoyed it so much! *sweatdrop*.

**RaversAnthem: **Yeah but she can't help it. I didn't even get in as much NickxLydia time as I originally had planned, so I may be doing a few in-between one shots eventually, because I think they deserve their fluff. *Nick rolls his eyes*


	24. Words Really Can't Say Everything

**Dedicated to RaversAnthem (For being the 100****th**** and 101****st**** reviewer) and SeductressofDarkness (Who wanted an angsty sex scene that I hope I did justice!)**

**I HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO SAY REGARDING EVERYONE'S INCEST QUESTION:**

**No. THEY ARE NOT RELATED! Tobias only put his power into Betelgeuse, he never put his actual DNA into Benjamin. Benjamin is fully and only Nathoniel and Beatrice's child! There is no incest involved here! Lydia is the only actual descendant of Tobias.**

**WHOOO! Only three, at the most five, more chapters to go for this one! We just might make it to 29! =o.**

**

* * *

**

Lydia shook her head, stepping back from Marie. "I… I can't be. The descendant… but…"

Marie smiled. "Do not fear yourself Lydia, it will not affect your destiny the way you are thinking. Yes, you are descended from a worker of the darkest of arts, Tobias Samuel." Marie lifted a hand, and stroked it down Lydia's cheek. "And you are a descendant of the light."

Lydia stared at Marie in shock. "You're… You're a white witch?"

Marie nodded. "You're still so confused, so lost in all this. Here-" Marie pointed behind Lydia, and the Goth turned to see a low stone bench wide enough for the both of them to sit comfortably. "Please my dear, let me help you."

Lydia swallowed, and nodded, dropping onto the bench as Marie settled beside her. "So… I'm… am I a witch?"

Marie nodded. "Yes. A very powerful witch, though because of what happened, I sealed away our family's magic until I was sure it could be used for good." Marie's hand dropped to Lydia's stomach. "It is another reason you are able to carry the ghost's child. You are so very special Lydia."

Lydia smiled. "Please… please tell me what all of this means. Why does Ahriman hate the Neitherworld so? Why does he hate Beej? Why did Tobias do all of this?"

Marie smiled, holding up a hand for Lydia to stop. "So full of confusion." Her expression turned sad as she examined Lydia's face. "So much hardship in one so long. I never meant for this to happen… Let me start in the beginning. You know Tobias practiced wildly during the Black Plague. My coven had tracked him to the village, and I was living there under the guise of a widowed seamstress when he came to me. I do not think Tobias knew what he was doing when he chose to plant his evil in me. We do not think he even knew why he did the things he did. He just wanted the chaos.

"He planted his seed in me, meaning for it to become the one that would unlock Betelgeuse's true nature, and therefore unlock Him. For Tobias lives on in Betelgeuse." Marie sighed. "It is why the child was born with his eyes, and looked so like him as he grew. Why his powers were so incredible and uncontrollable when he died. Tobias was one of the most powerful warlocks of our time. He cursed Nathoniel, that poor sweet man long before his hanging, before my rape. The hanging and the rape were just his safety guards. He undercalculated though, because he didn't know the babe would take on his appearance. So the priest was called, and the Second Chance was set in place.

"I knew my child, Tobias' child would have the same opportunity to be just as evil. But my daughter…" Marie closed her eyes, lifting a hand to rub her across her stomach. "my first daughter was so full of light, and happiness. She had Tobias' dirty blond hair, but she was still so beautiful, a little angel. It was her child, my grandson that was consumed by Tobias' evil." Marie shuddered. "And I suppose he chose a fitting name when he died. Ahriman had always been a monster."

Lydia gasped. "He's…"

"No Lydia." Marie shook her head. "No, he is a great however many times your uncle. Your line came from my second daughter, Dieya. My first daughter was Luoma.

"Ahriman's mind grew quickly, and so did his evil black heart. He killed his first time before he was eleven.

"I was so lost in my grief. When he was thirteen, I took him to a church near my old town, though I had never expected to see Nathoniel there. Lost in his own grief over the loss of Benjamin, he didn't recognize me. I never expected Betelgeuse to possess my grandson, and I realize now it was so much in my fault. If only I had taken caution…" Marie shook her head. "Ahriman hates Betelgeuse so because while the poltergeist was in Ahriman's body, all of Betelgeuse's and Tobias' memories were transferred into him.

"Ahriman only received Tobias' evil. None of his power. He felt betrayed, and insanely jealous, and he set off on a path to becoming more powerful so he could destroy Betelgeuse in the afterlife, and take what he felt was rightfully his. He firmly believes Betelgeuse wastes and abuses Tobias' power.

"His plans worked for a while… until he actually died. That is why he hates the Neitherworld. They stripped him of his powers and forced him into Hell.

"Ahriman was furious. So he spent the next century formulating his plan. Another century gathering souls and looking for a way out. And finally he was free. But he was still so weak, and Betel held power he didn't understand. The Powers That Be feared Betelgeuse, so they locked away his power, and put him under Juno as her assistant. For his first century or two as a ghost, things were okay for him, but he began to rebel, realizing that he was becoming part of a system, performing only the most mind-numbing and tedious of jobs. He too hated the Neitherworld, but only because he could find nothing fulfilling."

"So…" Lydia rubbed the heel of her palm against her temple. "Let me get this straight: Tobias just wanted to cause chaos, just to show that he could. So he raped you, planting evil in your bloodline, cursed Nathoniel and his son, telling Nathon that he would bring that evil into the world with his own hands. He intended for your offspring to unlock the evil in Beej, but…"

"But he was cocky." Marie sighed. "And he chose the wrong woman to impregnate. The priest gave Benjamin the Second Chance. I layered my own magic onto the priest's prayer, and gave Benjamin you."

"And it's my destiny to decide whether he becomes good or evil."

"No Lydia, nothing is that simple." Marie touched Lydia's cheek again, smiling sadly. "This is not as simple as choosing a path. You must fight for this. I can give you these words though: You and Betelgeuse will meet your destinies at the climax of this war."

Lydia sighed. "Wonderful."

"Lydia. You love him, you are carrying his child, a true sign of that love and the power that flows through you." Marie leaned close, and kissed the Goth's forehead. "Do not fear yourself."

Something pushed its way into Lydia's mind, and she turned to grip Marie's wrist. "What about Nick? What's happened to him?"

"Ah… Nick." Marie shook her head. "His past and future are so tangled Lydia, I do not know what happened to that child, but his soul was tainted by true evil before he was even born. He may be another relation of Tobias, or he may be the descendant of one of Tobias' victims, and the evil could have leaked through, or Nick may not be connected to this at all." Marie shook her head. "Whatever happened, Nick has given himself over to the darkness, because of his obsession with you."

Lydia cringed. "He's gathering the army to destroy the Neitherworld so he can have me, that's what I heard him telling the Lost Souls."

"Yes Lydia. The darkness that was already in his soul before was only strengthened by his time under Ahriman's thumb. And then you came, and for some reason, his darkness wrapped itself around you, seeing you as a way out of his suffering into the light. He only wants to make you safe, to love you and have you love him."

Lydia sighed, cradling her stomach again. "But I do love him. Not like I love Betelgeuse, but I still love him…"

"He doesn't understand Lydia. Ahriman and Eris destroyed his mind."

"Marie… what am I supposed to do?"

Marie shook her head sadly. "I can't tell you Lydia, for I do not know. The only thing I can tell you is that in less than a week's time both armies shall attack on the Plains of Dread, at the base of Prince Vince's castle." Marie dropped her hand to her side, digging into her pocket. "Take this." He pulled a small bundle from her pocket, and handed it to Lydia. "For protection."

"Thank you."

"And Lydia." Marie started. "I have one last thing to give you, another miscalculation on Tobias' part: he only said Nathon would bring evil into the world with his own hands. He intended for that evil to be Betelgeuse. But…" Marie held up a finger. "Nathon brought one other life back into this world with his own hands."

"Who?"

Marie grimaced. "Ahriman died when Betelgeuse possessed him. And Nathon used his hands to force Ahriman's heart to beat as he breathed life into him. It is possible that in doing this, Nathon broke at least part of the curse." Marie lowered her hand back to her stomach. "It is possible that the curse applies to both your poltergeist, and my grandson."

* * *

Betel frowned, digging his hands into his pockets as he slouched through the Roadhouse and into his room.

Less than a week.

Less than a week, and if they lost, if they slipped even a little…

Betel inhaled deeply, consumed by the sudden need to find Lydia.

Then the memory of that morning wriggled its stupid little way into his mind.

"_I love you."_

Betel stumbled to a halt in the doorway of his room, staring blankly at the floor.

God damn mother fucking shit-eating hell, why did women always have to make things difficult?! Betel growled something incoherent and kicked his foot against the bed post.

His eyes fell to the purple satin interior, and a slow smirk forced itself onto his face. She sure was a piece of work…

With a start he realized he was actually smiling, and lifted a hand to smack it off.

He had to think about this.

Betel leaned against the side of the coffin, chewing the end of his red-clawed thumb as he glared at the wall.

Lydia clearly wanted him to say it back. Damn feminine emotions and feelings…

But he had admitted he cared about her.

Maybe she would wonder if he'd only said that to get her clothes off. Maybe she was pissed at him…

Betel shook his head. He did care about her. And… cheesy as it sounded in his mind, he cared about her more than he'd ever thought he could care about someone besides his parents. He'd never felt this way though…

Did that mean love?

What the _hell _was he supposed to say?!

Betel blinked, pushing off the coffin and leaping towards the mirror. Maybe that was the answer: maybe he didn't need to _say _anything!

"Show me Lyds."

The mirror darkened before it snapped to an image of Lydia's room.

His entire being softened at the sight of her, curled up on her side, her flawless ivory skin almost glowing in the darkness. Her hair fanned out beneath her on the pillow, and her hands curled loosely under her chin.

Betel leaned against the side of the mirror, wrapped up in the picture.

Would she even want to talk to him?

"Hey… Lydia?"

The Goth frowned, slowly, groggily sitting up as she rubbed her fists against her eyes. "Beej?"

Betel grinned. "Hey Babes."

Lydia crawled off the bed, unaware of the quiet thump as something hit the floor. "Beej… where have you been?"

"S'not important Lyds. Wanna say those magic B-words?"

Lydia chuckled as she chanted his name, folding against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. "What happened?"

"Nothin'. Babes?"

"Yes?"

"Exactly how awake are ya?"

Lydia rolled her eyes. "Not very, why?"

Betel bent and hooked an arm under her legs, sweeping her up into the air before he dropped her onto the bed and crawled over her. "I need ya Babes." He dipped his head low, pressing his lips to her neck.

"Beej…"

"Shh." Betel turned his face, nuzzling the space beneath her chin. "I can't say it Lyds, I don't think I ever can." He lifted his head, smiling down at her suddenly heartbroken expression. "But I can show ya Lyds." He kissed a line from her forehead, down the left side of her face to the corner of her lip. "I can show ya what I can't say."

"Beej…"

"No." He kissed her again, silencing her. "No talkin'. No anythin'. Only showin'."

Lydia watched in shock and confusion as he slid down her body, his fingers tracing slow patterns down her body.

He reached the hem of her nightdress, and Lydia was sure he would rid her of the thing but he only nudged the material aside a bit and teased his lips across the previously hidden skin. She shuddered, moaning in disappointment as his lips left her, and two loud thunks reached her ears. Lydia lifted her head, watching as he freed himself of shoes, belt, tie and jacket, before bending back to slip one hand beneath her right knee, and bend it into the air.

His other hand touched the inside of her thigh, teasing his claws across her skin as his lips trailed from the top of her knee, down her pale calf to the inside of her arch. His eyes lifted as a low moan escaped her, a grin forming on his lips.

He set her leg down and switched to the other, wrapping one hand around her ankle as he trailed the claws of his other hand over the backside of her calf from the back of her knee to her heel. "I meant what I said Lydia." He murmured, dropping his lips to her ankle and kissing a trail to the other side. "I care about ya."

Lydia lifted her head, her expression sad, loving, shocked and lusty all at once. "You… You do…"

Betel grinned that wild, cocky leer he was so famous for. "I do."

Lydia's eyes widened in shock as he nudged the edge of her dress up, now tracing his lips across her thighs.

He may have missed the gentle hum of power that rolled off him, but Lydia didn't.

_He does… he really does care…_ "Beej…"

He pulled himself back over her body, lifting her right arm off the mattress and riding it of the glove she still insisted on wearing. His eyes seemed to darken as he examined the scars marring her beautiful skin. His lips found the highest scar, and started a slow, torturous journey down to her wrist. His tongue flashed out briefly, tasting where her pulse was closest to the surface, savoring it for a moment before he pressed his lips to her palm and shifted, lifting her left arm and ridding it too of the glove. "How has this felt lately?" He asked with a mischievous smirk.

Lydia frowned, tearing her gaze from his face as his thumb rubbed slow circles against the crease of her elbow. "Truth be told… I haven't even thought about it lately. Did you…?"

Betel chuckled, lowering his head to taste the warm life that pulsed in the ruined joint. "I can't heal people Lyds." His claws teased the inside of her upper arm, making her shudder beneath him. "But I can help with the pain." He reached her hand and trailed his lips up and down each side of each finger, making her groan again, arching beneath him.

"Geeze… Didn't…Didn't think-" She shuddered as he trailed back up her arm to her shoulder. "That the sides of your fingers could be a hot spppaahhht!" His lips had found her collar bone and began to suck.

"Good ta know." He chuckled against her throat, making her whimper and arch once more. "Hafta remember it."

He lowered himself, kissing her thighs once more as he pushed her nightgown up. Every inch of skin that was uncovered was met by his lips before he rolled the material up to uncover another inch.

"Oooooh Beej…" Lydia grimaced, trying to concentrate on laying still but it was proving increasingly difficult.

Betel chuckled against her stomach, and his eyes glazed over as he lifted his head and traced the flat planes of her belly with hand and eye. His expression was… well Lydia could see the possessive lust but… there was something else behind it. "God Babes…"

Lydia smiled, wriggling beneath his hands. "Well don't just sit there. Get down here."

Betel chuckled, lowering his mouth to trace her hips and move up her sides as he pushed her nightgown over her head and flung it aside.

But his mouth slid over the three ropy scars on her side, and he froze. Betel lifted his head, frowning down at the triad of scars as his hand absently lifted to trace them. "Hmm…"

Lydia lifted her head to see what had stopped him. "What's wrong."

Betel shook his head firmly, grinning up at her as he pushed her back down. "Ya ain't supposed ta be talkin' Lyds."

Lydia chuckled, running her hand through his hair, pulling him closer. "I love you Betelgeuse." Betel's eyes widened, and he looked away, the corners of his lips turning down. But Lydia smiled, and lowered her hand to his cheek. "You don't have to say it Beej, I just wanted you to know."

Betel sighed, pressing his lips to the middle scar. "I do know Babes. No more talkin'."

Lydia shuddered, tipping her head back as his mouth found her sternum and his claws teased her ribs. She sucked in a low breath as his teeth nipped their way across her collarbone and his hands found her breasts.

He lowered his mouth back to her chest, making sure every inch of skin was submitted to his lips, teeth or tongue, making her shudder and moan and gasp beneath him.

One hand suddenly disappeared from her breast, and before she could even think, one claw was hooked up inside her, massaging her inner walls as she twisted and gasped beneath him. "Oh geeze! Oh Beej!"

Betel grinned, lifting his other hand to cup her cheek as his lips claimed every inch of her face, over her cheeks and nose and chin, and even across the lids of her eyes as he slipped another finger inside her, pressing his thumb to her clit as she bucked into his hand.

Suddenly he was gone and Lydia whimpered, twisting on the mattress from unmet need until suddenly a very different sensation pressed between her legs.

"AhhHHhaaaahHHh! Beeeej…" His tongue snaked its way into her, teasing it way up and down her walls as she convulsed around him.

Just when he knew she was teetering on the edge, he pulled way and crawled over her body, snapping his fingers as he went, ridding himself of his clothes.

Lydia threw her head back as he entered her, lowering his head till he was right next to her ear. "I do care." _And I'm scared for you Babes…_

* * *

**Whoot. That one just sort of… flew from me. Not quite sure why, as I'm not quite satisfied with it, but we only have a few chapters left!**

**RaversAnthem: **You did! And #101 as well! And I'm talking Nick fluffs before he went crazy, when he was falling in love with Lydia. Anyways, glad you enjoyed! … A little crit? xD *is confused* And believe me, I am trying to work everything in, but it gets a little hard when there is so much between both universes and the actual story, but I also sort of planned on doing a one-shot about Babs' feelings during this part of the story. If people wanted to see it.

**LoliPear: **Aww. =(. Sorry you're disappointed. You really hate their baby, don't you? *sweatdrop* I hope I can at least make it up to you by making the end of the plot work well. And the only reason she's able to even carry his baby is because she is descended from both Tobias and Marie, and was already destined to be Betel's 'tamer'.

**BlackRose-FlowerofDeath: **I know, I'm sorry. *sweatdrop* I think because I know everything, I end up either writing things oddly, or leaving things out. And yeah. That scene (which I thought of way back when while I was working on creating the idea for WCMLEBS ~wow that _is _a long acronym~) I imagined them in place of Will, Jack, and James in POTC when they're fighting on the beach. xD. Only… you know. Dead, armored, with more… like broadswords. Like what Romans and Greeks used back in the day. And I don't know about that stuff. ;). Guess you'll just have ta stick around!

**Life4DemiMeg: **Glad I could keep you on your toes. Neither can I, it shall be fun to write. Full of drama and feelings and stuff Beej just isn't equipped to handle! ;P. Glad you enjoyed, hope you also enjoy the last few chapters!

**CassiopiaMM: **He does protect what's his with a fiery passion. ;P. Nick has truly gone over to the dark side, though he doesn't realize it because he's only doing this to ensure Lydia's safety, or at least that's how his mind works. Well… I hope you don't drown! That would be bad! Hah, everyone hates Nick. Poor Nick. Anyway, glad you enjoyed!

**Kimberly S: **Thanks! Glad you enjoyed!

**Prats 'R' Us: **I don't think anyone did! ;P. I enjoy keeping you all on your toes. Thanks, glad you enjoyed!


	25. The Eve

Ahriman stared straight ahead as Eris pulled the hard leather armor over his head, strapping it into place. She straightened and Ahriman bent to retrieve the much smaller set, returning the favor for her. She wrapped her hand around her hair, holding it up out of the way as his hands buckled the leather straps into place, and his lips brushed across the top of her spine. "The chaotic goddess of war, and I finally get to see her in her true element…"

Eris smiled, turning to help him with his bracers. "Ahriman, god of Death, Destruction and true evil. Are you ready for revenge?"

Ahriman smiled, pressing his lips to hers. "I am."

The pair stepped out of the low cave and onto the cliff, looking to the valley below.

Already the Army of Souls was on the move, rolling over the broken stone that lined the boundaries of Prince Vince's kingdom.

"Are we ready brothers?" Ahriman asked, glancing behind him.

Set cracked his knuckles, and Loki growled beside him. His eyes were a mass of swirling colors, and though he was most displeased at the loss of his original energy, he now possessed more power than ever. Set clapped a hand against his shoulder, nodding in the direction of the cliff's edge. "Loki and I take the front line."

Coyote grimaced, scratching his head as he re-formulated his plan. Anansi clicked away beside him, flexing all of his limbs as he tested the custom armor on the spider's joints. "Brother," Coyote started. "Anansi and I take the second string, and attack from beneath."

Maui stepped forward, his expression furious as he examined the ten-inch steel claws glinting cruelly from his right hand. "And I find you Geuse."

Ahriman nodded. "Once I arrive to take Geuse, you find Juno or the Prince, and take them. Let us go meet our destinies my brothers."

* * *

Nick popped his neck, adjusting his tie beneath his make-shift armor as he examined his army.

He preened nervously, checking himself in the tiny mirror once more. He hoped Geuse would at least have the sense and courtesy to leave Lydia behind. No need to have her see the poltergeist fall…

What would she think though? Surely she would be very upset with him for a long time, but he would make it up to her. He would take her to… to Paris, or Venice, or wherever it was her heart desired. He would dine her on the most exquisite foods. He would take her to China for the Chinese New Year celebrations, and make love to her beneath the fireworks.

He would win her heart.

Nick smiled, running his hand through his hair once more. Below him the lost souls clawed their way closer to the Plains of Dread.

"So close Lydia. Can you feel me coming?" Nick fixed his collar, his multi-colored eyes gleaming excitedly. "I'm so close to saving you, to making sure you'll never be hurt again. I'm coming for you my love."

* * *

"_Dam_mit! _No_ Lydia!"

Lydia's arms latched around his middle, holding him in place as he half-heartedly tried to free himself from her grip. "I'm not letting you go alone."

"_They're comin' in a few days, from the North'n the South." Betel told her reluctantly._

_He was perched on the edge of her bed, clad only in a pair of ridiculous pink boxers with poorly drawn scarab beetles scattered over the material. His elbows were draped across his knees and his head hung low as he glared at the floor._

_Lydia sat up behind him, bare besides the sheet she held to her chest. She slipped her arms beneath his and hugged him from behind, resting her chin on his shoulder. "Are you scared?"_

"_I guess. But…" Betel turned his head, regarding her with one saddened emerald eye. "Mostly for you and the others."_

_Lydia smiled, pressing her lips to the side of his neck, just below his ear. "Don't worry Beej. I trust you. Jacques and Ginger trust you…" She kissed his cheek before she turned her head and rested her cheek against his shoulder. "I know you'll come back to me in one piece."_

_Betel sighed, reaching a hand behind him to rub her knee. "I sure hope so Babes…"_

Betel finally managed to pry her fingers open and pushed her arms away from him. "Lydia… I ain't takin' ya! Two huge-ass armies're comin' ta destroy us. Both of'em want me dead, and both of'em want ya as a trophy." He turned to shake his head. "Ya can't fight with us. I know yer gonna hate me fer sayin' this, but yer just a breather."

Lydia glared crossing the floor to stand on the tips of her toes. She fisted her hand in his hair and brought his face down to her level, crashing her lips against his. His lips parted in shock and her tongue coaxed his into a violent, passionate dance as his arms wrapped around her, lifting the tiny body into the air and crushing her body against his.

When they finally parted, Betel stumbled back a bit, still stunned. Lydia panted, fisting her hands on her hips. "I'm not just some spineless little breather Beej." Still… there was so much she hadn't told him, so much she'd forgotten if she'd told him, or wanted to tell him but couldn't find the way to do so. "Six years ago, almost exactly, you tried to marry me." She shook her hair over her shoulder, straightening up as much as she could to stare him coolly in the eye. "I survived that. We've been through Hell and back this last year, and I've survived it all with you. I love you Beej, and I will not let you go off to fight in what is both of our battle."

Betel sighed. He didn't want her to come. She was so frail, still so full of delicate life…

But he knew he wouldn't win.

"Lyds… alright. But I got a few conditions-

"One: we go right now. I take ya around, ya listen ta what everyone says. Ya never fought exorcised ghosts before. Truth be told, mosta us ain't either. But the ways've been passed down over the centuries."

Lydia nodded. "Alright."

"Kay, two: ya stick close ta me, Juno, Vince, Jacques and Ginger, or Monster, 'case somethin' happens."

Lydia nodded again. "Can do."

"Three, and Babes… Babes I'm bein' totally serious on this one. This is my most important." He stepped forward, gripping the tops of her arms as he stared hard down at her. "If anythin', _anythin'_ happens, or if one of us tell ya to: _Get. Yerself. Outta there._ Got it?"

Lydia frowned. "Beej-"

Betel shook his head. "No Lydia, no negotiatin' on this. Don't worry about us, at all. If we tell ya, get outta there, _that moment. _Run, call my name, get the hell outta there and get ta safety. Please."

Lydia took a deep breath, dropping her head in defeat. "Okay."

Betel sighed, pulling her against him. "God kid, ya totally fucked over the bad-ass rep I worked fer so long ta build up, ya know that?"

Lydia chuckled, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I sure hope I didn't totally ruin it. You wouldn't be any fun at all if you turned all happy and nice and proper. I like'em dirty, crude and lewd." She lifted a hand and pat it against his belly. "With a healthy beer gut."

Betel rolled his eyes, kissing the top of her head. "Yeah I bet. Say them magic B-words Babes."

The void spit them out onto a dismal gray desert.

Lydia gasped, moving closer to Betelgeuse as monsters stormed pass her, covered in mismatching leather armor, carrying cruel, gleaming weapons or hauling supplies across the camp.

Monsters stretched for as far as the eye could see, preparing for the battle that was fast approaching.

"Betelgeuse… Lydia… Lydia why are you here?" The pair turned to see Vince and Juno staring open-mouthed at them, mostly Lydia as she stepped forward, glaring.

"I've already decided, and you can't not let me. I care about everyone here." He tried to hide her nausea and fear, her shaking knees as she stared across the ground at them. "I'm going to fight with you."

Juno shook her head, but another voice cut across her, and Lydia was suddenly covered by two bodies.

Barbara shook her head, leaning away to shake her. "Lydia what are you doing here?!"

Adam spun to face Betelgeuse, glaring daggers. "What the _hell_ is your problem?!? How dare you bring her here?! Don't you care that she's pre-"

"Adam!" Lydia yanked hard on his arm, quashing down her fear at his almost-slip-of-the-tongue. "Adam I made him!" everyone but Betel stared at her in shock. The poltergeist hung his head and shoved his hands into his pockets, glaring at his feet. "I am not going to sit here while you fight eight crazy bastards that are after me and Betelgeuse. I am not any old mortal breather!"

Juno shook her head, looking up at Vince as he frowned thoughtfully at Lydia. "You're lowness you can't let her! She doesn't know how to fight!"

Vince took a deep breath, turning away from the group as he paced away.

Lydia watched, hoping against everyone else's hope as the Prince paced to and fro, expression twisted in concentration. When he finally returned, he stared hard at Lydia. "Loathe as I am to say it, we can use her. She possesses Tobias' power." Betel's eyes shot wide open, and he lifted his head, but Vince continued. "She and Betelgeuse are two of our most powerful allies. Come with me Lydia. Juno, Betelgeuse, see to the defense squad. Mr. and Mrs. Maitland, report to the blacksmith, and prepare yourselves." Vince held out a hand for Lydia, leading her through the thick crowd as Betel stared after her in horror. The only reason his feet moved was because of Juno using her own magic to push him along.

* * *

Lydia watched in fascination as plates of iron were hammered into shape while her leather padding was latched into place.

Vince kept up a running commentary as his own armor was fitted. "Iron is a nearly fool-proof defense against ghosts. It's like acid to us, and wards us off. Iron horseshoes were often hung over the doorways of homes in the old days, and in some areas still today to block the evil of our kind from invading homes."

Someone yanked Lydia's hair back, twisting it up before a knife sliced clean through. "HEY!"

Vince shook his head. "You can't wear a pony tail under your armor, and long hair only gets in your face. I'll see to it that someone grows it back for you."

Lydia watched as her tail of hair was carried off. "So I won't be able to be possessed while I wear this?"

Vince nodded. "You're heart and mind will be shielded from all invasions. Now, silver is more of an offense. It sickens the weaker of us, weakens us and poisons us if we are stabbed. Your blade is being forged from iron and silver."

As soon as Lydia's armor was fitted and taken off to make the final adjustments, she was hauled off for a crash course in sword fighting.

Lydia grit her teeth as the smug, growling bastard across from her smashed his fourth sword against her shield. The wooden imitation swords were lighter, weaker than a real sword, but Lydia was getting the idea. And the bruises.

"Look at this stupid little bitch. Betel sure can pick'em." His group snickered, but Vince silenced them with a cold glare. Her attacker continued to laugh wildly as she pushed herself up, still snarling. "The mighty 'Ghost with the Most' sure has fallen off his ladder. His whore can't ev-AAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!!"

The ghost was flung from the circle, and Lydia straightened, staring at her smoking palm.

Vince smiled, stepping forward to pat a hand against her shoulder. "Marie has unlocked her family's power. Use it wisely Lydia. In the right hands, the white magic flowing through your veins could easily level half of what is coming. Which reminds me, I had one of my servants dig it up for you." He pulled a small book from his coat, pressing it into her palm. "A book of the basic workings of magic and a few low-level spells. I do hope it can help you."

Lydia smiled, leaning up to kiss Vince's cheek. "Thank you Vince. For everything."

* * *

The suns were setting over the horizon as Lydia removed her helmet, and set it beside her on the stone.

Her legs hung over the cliff that overlooked the camp. Lanterns had been lit all around and still there was a never-ending stream of traffic.

This had all happened so fast…

Lydia sighed, lifting her head to try and see the stars.

"Hey Lyds."

Lydia's face broke into a bright smile as her head whipped around to find her poltergeist grimacing down at her. She chuckled, studying his change in appearance. "Wow, short hair."

Betel rolled his eyes, scratching the top of his head, irritated. "I look like a moron."

Lydia chuckled, patting the space beside her. "Come sit with me."

His hair wasn't the only thing that changed, though it was much shorter than any time he'd ever posed as BJ. It was less than an inch long, shaggy and jaggedly shaved in the barber's haste. He wore an old-fashioned tunic that fell to his elbows and was held tight against his waist by a thick leather belt. He wore actual trousers with padded knees and groin and heavy steel boots. He looked so medieval.

Betel flopped beside her, leaning back on his arms as he took his turn in studying her armor and cropped hair. He grimaced, lifting a hand to stroke the brutally chopped raven locks. "I can't believe it. They killed yer hair…"

Lydia shrugged. "It will grow. You like it long?"

Betel chuckled, turning his head to stare out across the camp. "M'still sorta tryin' ta wrap my mind around all this. Never thought anythin' like this would happen, even with these dudes after us."

Lydia scooted closer, leaning against him as she closed her eyes. "I know the feeling…" Her hand rubbed almost absently over her armored stomach. "Apparently I really do have powers. I just had to wait for a great-ancestor to deem me worthy." She chuckled.

Betel frowned, turning his head. "Yeah… what was that all about? Ya have Tobias' power?"

And then Lydia couldn't hold back the floodgates. Everything from his own origins to her ancestor back to the curse and to the creation of Ahriman. Everything but the baby.

She couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to put that on him on what could possibly be their last night together.

Lydia talked for nearly an hour, until her throat grew sore.

Betel exhaled deeply.

"So… There's a chance I'm gonna wind up fuckin' everyone over…"

"No." Lydia shifted so she could lay her head in his lap. "I'll never let it happen Beej. I'm the one that is supposed to sway you one way or another. And I won't let Tobias take you from me."

Betel's hand stroked absently through her cropped hair. "Our lives suck… ya know that? S'like… why the fuck can't destiny just mind its own damn business and leave us alone?"

Lydia laughed. "Well… I'm glad destiny nosed in. We might never have come together without destiny."

Betel smiled, leaning down to kiss her slowly. He pulled away, but her hand curled in the front of his tunic and pulled him down to her again.

And suddenly she was away from the cliff, and pulling his tunic over his head and he had juiced her armor off into a pile away from the cliff's edge, and their bodies were rocking together as the last rays of the higher sun disappeared below the horizon.

* * *

**I JUST HAD TO GET THIS OUT HERE AND YOU KNOW WHY?!?!!?!!1!?!o?n!e!?!!?!!??!?**

**BECAUSE I HAVE ALL BUT THE LAST CHAPTER WRITTEN! ALL I HAVE TO DO IS EDIT!!!**

**Anyway, there it is.**

**Short, sweet, and to the point I guess.**

**WHOOO-HOOO! Big Battle time next chapter!**

**LoliPear: **But there's sort of a point to having the baby in this one.I apologize for disappointing you, though I sincerely hope you stick around for the next installment, despite your disappointment. And I feel like maybe I'm making him a little too OOC… I'm a little horrified by that. And yes, the war is coming, and I hope I did it justice.

**Prats 'R' Us: **Lol, glad you enjoyed! Strawberry or cookie dough? I have both. Anyway, yes, she's one bad-ass powerful little sorceress, which was surprisingly hard to actually write. Imagining is so much easier. ;p. And yes, Ahriman is related to our favorite Goth. And still no big reveal yet. Playing it up as I tend to over-do. ;p.

**RaversAnthem: **Yes you did! xD. Glad you enjoyed!

**BlackRose-FlowerofDeath:** Did you know I've never actually been able to finish that, or Meet the Spartans, despite the many times I try? Something always interrupts me! It's insanity! Hah… I should try and draw that… and after this I believe we are only getting to chapter 28. =(. So close to a good, even number. Oh well.

**Ceysna: **I tried, glad you enjoyed! And all of that is coming up soon enough, though some of it may wait until next story… Anyway, glad you are enjoying!


	26. Eight Crazy Bastards

Lydia sighed, lifting her head as she gathered her bearings.

Oh…

Right.

She was going to war today.

Lydia sighed, dropping her head back onto her arm as last night replayed in her head. She pulled the blanket Betel had juiced up for her tighter around her cold body, staring sadly at the empty space beside her.

Deciding she couldn't lay there and wonder, Lydia pushed herself up and crawled over to the pile of armor and clothes.

That was when she saw the parchment.

_Lyds-_

_Had to go help Jacques and Monster with the final preparations._

_I'll be watching for you today. Be safe, be careful, and kick some serious ass out there Babes._

Lydia smiled, shaking her head.

_Remember what everyone showed you, use everything you got, and come back to me safe._

Lydia nodded, folding the note and setting it aside. She pulled on her clothes first, and shoved the note into the sports-bra like wrappings one of the other female warriors had brought her before she strapped her leather padding back into place and hooked the iron armor over it. Lydia touched a hand to her armored stomach, closing her eyes as the imaged of the towheaded little girl with the shocking blue eyes slipped into her mind.

This time Lydia leaned forward to see what the little girl had caught. The tiny cricket leapt away, chirruping as it escaped the child's open hands.

Lydia smiled and opened her eyes, pulling her helmet over her head and strapping it into place before lifting her shield and sword, and started the short descent back into camp.

She pushed her way through the thick bodies, searching for any of her friends. Somehow she found her way to the front line. Lydia stumbled forward as she reached free ground. A hand caught her wrist, yanking her back into the congregation.

"Miss Lydia, what are you doing up here?"

Lydia straightened, smiling up at Vince. God… everyone looked so different in armor. It was a total flashback to the dark ages. Fitting though, she supposed since that's when all this began.

Lydia adjusted her helmet. "Oh, I was looking for Jacques or the Maitlands or anyone really. But um… have you… have you seen Beej?"

Vince nodded, and pointed to some spot just over her head in the distance. "He's gone ahead with a small group to set off the traps."

"Traps?"

Vince smiled. "We are not going off two fight two armies that outnumber us on their own. We have a few tricks up our sleeves. I can have someone take you to the Maitlands if you wish."

"Yes, please Vince that would be great."

Vince motioned a man forward. "Niehest, please take Miss Lydia to her friends, Mr. and Mrs. Maitland."

"Milord." Niehest's eyes fell to Lydia, and he gestured back into the crowd. This time bodies parted for them easily, and Lydia rolled her eyes.

It figured.

"Um… Niehest? Sir,"

Niehest held up a hand, shaking his head. "Just Niehest milady. You have a question?"

Lydia nodded. "Do… do you think we can win this battle?"

Niehest frowned even harder than he already was, waving someone aside as they approached him. "Lady Geuse, I have seen many wars in my time, alive and dead. I've been on the winning side, and the losing side, and I've come to realize no matter what you think beforehand, it usually turns out the opposite. I try not to think about it any longer, and just do."

Lydia sighed, biting her lip. "Fantastic."

Niehest clapped a hand against her shoulder, offering her a less intense frown which she took as his attempt at a smile. "Do not worry milady. Just do. Here are your friends."

Lydia blinked in surprise, looking up to see the much changed but still recognizable Maitlands. They were talking to a tall skeleton, a pair of hairy monsters and a tall, beautiful woman with fiery orange hair and a long pink dress.

Lydia turned as her escort was leaving, and reached out to grab his wrist. He turned in surprise, staring down at her as she transferred her hand into his and shook it. "Thank you Niehest. Be safe."

Niehest blinked, but a corner of his lips actually twitched up. "And the same to you Lady Geuse."

Lydia smiled, turning away from him and jogging towards her friends. It was when the tall woman turned so Jacques could strap odd-looking armor over her chest did Lydia see four long, spindly legs and realize who it must be.

"Woah! Ging!"

The group chuckled as Lydia approached, and Ginger turned her now very humanoid face to smile at Lydia. "I know, I haven't done this in _decades_! I'd forgotten how awesome it felt to have a body like this."

Lydia chuckled, turning to examine everyone. Jacques was wearing thick armor padding over his bones, and a glowing green pendant that Lydia knew had some sort of magic in it. He carried a broader, longer shorter sword than most and a club hung by his side. Monster and Monstress were there in all their gigantic hairy glory with minimal armor. Each of them carried guns bigger than any Lydia could ever have imagined, except maybe in a Hellboy comic somewhere, and heavy belts loaded with ammo. Even the Maitlands were geared for war. Lydia groaned in horror as she took in Barbara's brutalized hair, but the groan quickly turned to a low snigger as she saw the thick goggles that had replaced Adam's glasses.

Lydia frowned, turning to face the North, and then the South.

Everyone was still busy strapping on their armor and re-adjusting the straps as Monster stepped forward and clapped a hand onto her shoulder. "Fears a good thing, Miss Lydia. 'Specially in this here situation." He told her. "But don't you worry, ya hear? We're all here ta fight fer ya, and that flea-ridden beast of a husband o' yers."

Lydia laughed, throwing an arm around him. "Thank you Monster, for everything."

Monster smiled and moved back to talk in low voices with his girlfriend, just as Poopsie and Poopette galloped into view.

And truly galloping, for they had grown larger than any elephant and the very ground shook beneath their paws.

Lydia shook her head, smiling as she turned away from the group and touched the spot on her armor where she knew Betel's letter hid beneath.

Her hand dropped to her breeches, and dug into the pocket she'd asked be sewn on.

She lifted the small wrapped bundle up to her eyes, still unsure of what Marie had left her. She'd found it under her bed the day before, and shoved it into her pocket, too nervous to unwrap the thick cloth around it.

It was circular in shape, and heavy in Lydia's palm.

She took a deep breath, and unwrapped it.

The glove that fell out was made of some thick, black material that was somehow soft and rough at the same time. It was attached to a heavy metal bracelet with runes and what Lydia assumed to be spells were carved into the metal and inlaid with what Lydia thought might be silver. The glove was fingerless, with leather padding on the palm and thicker padding on the knuckles, probably to protect her hand if she punched something.

A tiny note was rolled up in the thumb, sticking about a half an inch out the end.

_This was handed down my line for generations until I locked our power away. It channels your energy Lydia, and can give you a boost when you find yourself in need. The bracelet was forged by powerful magic, and holds the blessing of our ancestors._

_Be safe._

Lydia smiled down at the note, holding it against her heart for a moment before she held it out in front of her.

The paper burst into flames, hiding the secret of this weapon as the parchment turned black and curled in on itself.

"What's that?"

Lydia turned, smiling at Barbara as she pulled the worn leather glove off her right hand, and put the new one in its place. "A gift from Marie Bouvier." She said. "My ancestor."

"_THERE THEY ARE!"_

* * *

Vince took his place above the army, facing the west so he could turn his head North or South without having to turn his whole body.

The Lost Souls came first, and Vince's eyes locked with Nick's over the vast plains.

The first trap activated after the front line cleared it.

The Lost Souls were engulfed in green flame that flew nearly as high as Nick. The flame licked at the ghosts, wrapping around their bodies and pulling them back into the earth.

The ground shook and Vince's army shifted nervously as the screams of the would-be underground attackers from the South were washed away in holy water, dissolving the oily shadows of pure evil.

Lydia cringed, breathing hard as she flexed her hand, trying to get used to the heavy new glove as another trap of mulit-colored fire sprang to life on both sides, wiping out another few lines of each army.

That was when they began to break through though, and the first enemies clashed with each front.

They were taken down easily, but the next line crawled right over the top of them. And then the next.

And then the sound of iron clashing ripped through Lydia.

She lifted her sword just in time to stop a lost soul from wrapping its claws around her.

Lydia grunted with the effort as she swung the sword in one of the more complicated patterns she'd managed to memorize from Vince yesterday, taking down first one, and then another enemy as they attacked from both sides.

* * *

Ginger knew her job.

She was to find Anansi- that was what Betel had asked of her.

Ginger was small: she was a dancer, not a fighter, but even Betel knew the power hidden beneath the beauty.

Jacques waved her on when she tried to pause and help him. "Go! Find ze god! We 'ave Lydia!"

Ginger nodded and pushed off with her spider limbs, leaping over the fighting heads. She kicked and hit and slashed and bit as she sought her enemy, her eyes locking onto each body to check before she moved on.

"Looking for someone angel?"

* * *

Betel snarled, circling slowly with Nick as the little fuck continued to preen, checking over his shoulder every now and then. "She doesn't like ya Nick. She called ya a crazy bastard. She hates watcha done."

Nick threw the poltergeist a dirty look, running his hand through his hair once more. "Fuck you Geuse, she'll come to forgive me. This is, after all, for her. She's not safe! She never is!" Nick clenched his hands, twirling his sword slowly by his side. "She'll be safe with me though! And she'll be happy!" He insisted. "You treat her like a toy, like a _possession!_ She's a goddess, a gift. You just want her body."

Betel snorted, spreading his hands to the side as he smirked at Nick. "I've already had that ya psychotic little fucker. Hell, I didn't even hafta ask! Lyds jumped _my_ bones!"

Nick stared at him in disgust, shaking his head. "I don't believe you. She would never give herself to vermin like you."

Betel grinned, turning to circle the other way as Nick matched his movements. "Believe it'r not kid. She's my woman, my Babes. Not a toy." Betel shook his head, glaring at Nick. "Maybe she was, but she ain't now. And all yer doin' is hurtin' her. She fuckin' cried over yer worthless ass." Betel spat. "Ya broke her heart too many times. So I'm here ta break yer face."

Betel leapt at Nick, swinging his sword up as his eyes flashed an unnatural electric blue.

* * *

Lydia grunted again, letting herself fall to the ground before she rolled away from the shadow that had solidified itself into a vaguely humanoid form before it brought the spiked club down towards her head.

She leapt to her feet and thrust her hand forward, pointing at the demon. "Exclure!"

The shadow howled as it was vaporized, but before Lydia could even prepare herself another one took its place.

A fist connected with the side of her face, knocking her to the ground once more.

But Lydia never felt the bloodstained stone beneath her.

She felt herself pulled through the void, and into a small clearing between bodies.

"Aww, look at the little demoness." A soft, slightly whining voice assaulted her.

Lydia nearly sobbed in horror, spinning around and backing away as Maui loomed over her.

"Did you miss me Lydia?" He purred, lifting a hand to stroke her cheek. "I'm supposed to find Ahriman, but I thought I would kill you first… no…" His hand dropped to her chest plate, and Lydia felt the burn scar from his hand tingle. "I think first I'll rape you, right here in front of your friends. I'll break you, make you scream and beg for mercy, and then, I will give you mercy and I will kill you." His hand trailed lower and Lydia whimpered, trying to push him off her. "How does that sound."

_Kick some serious ass._

Groin would have to do.

Maui howled, doubling over in agony as Lydia set her leg back down, sliding into a ready stance. She flexed her gloved hand, quickly sheathing her sword in favor of the dagger strapped to her boot. "I'd like to see you try you pansy little shit."

Maui snarled, leaping forward with his claws extended, and knocked her dagger away as he aimed for her throat.

Lydia let instincts take over and brought her right hand up and around, smashing it into the back of his neck and shoving down as hard as she could as she danced out of his way.

Maui tumbled, somersaulted and leapt to his feet, snapping his fingers. Even as the whip materialized in his hands he snapped the whip in her direction, and caught her face.

Lydia screamed, backing away as the line from her hairline to her chin screamed in agony and sprayed fresh, crimson blood.

Lydia pulled her hand away, fighting back her stinging tears as the blood soaked her vision. "I'll fucking kill you Maui-"

_Lydia, you are not defenseless. Fight back, use our blessings._

Lydia took a deep breath, and straightened, pointing at Maui.

The god roared with laughter, doubling over as he tried to mimic her gesture. "What Lydia, the finger point of death? Shall I run away with my tail between my legs as you pretend to shoot me?! HAHAAAA!"

Lydia smirked, miming a gun with her hand. "Détruisez et brûlez dans l'enfer."

Maui's eyes widened in shock as the most excruciating of pains ripped through him. Animalistic screeching tore from his throat as he was swallowed into the ground from the hole that had suddenly opened beneath his feet.

Lydia smiled again, blowing on the end of her finger. "Bang bang fucker."

* * *

Ginger made another shallow slice before she had to pirouette away, sliding against the length of stone as Anansi snarled and threw another dagger at her slim body.

The pink spider danced away again, twirling closer as her spidery limbs shot towards him, stabbing the clawed ends into his chest before she ducked under his own limbs and sliced away another chunk off his leg.

"QUIT RUNNING YOU BITCH! FIGHT ME!" He screamed.

Ginger smiled, pushing herself up until she was taller than him and tangled her legs in his, taking him down to the ground as daggers and venomous fangs flashed.

* * *

Betel rolled away, ready to leap back at Nick when fire lanced across his back.

Ahriman lifted his bloodied sword as Betel collapsed against the ground, scrabbling at his back as the silver coursed through his veins.

Nick snarled, and the swords clashed over Betel's head as he pulled himself away.

"He's _MINE_ Ahriman, and when he's done you're next!" Nick snarled.

Betel chose that moment to swing his sword at Ahriman's knees. Ahriman saw the flash of silver just in time and leapt into the air, kicking Nick in the forehead as he went. Betel took advantage of Nick's stumbling to jump up and thrust his sword at the man's stomach.

* * *

Vince thrust his sword through the back of another ghoul as he spotted Lydia below him, hacking her way to the Northern front.

He lifted his head, glancing in the direction she was heading, and spotted the battle taking place on the cliff. "No!" Vince dropped out of the sky, landing beside her as she cut through another pair of shadows and shouted a banishment spell at a Lost Soul. "Lydia!"

Lydia tore through another Soul before turning to Vince. "Vince I have to get up there!" She called over the sound of his sword clashing with another. "Beej might be in trouble!"

Vince paused, glancing around them and then up to the cliff as Betel and Nick were shoved closer to the edge. He glanced back down at Lydia before he stuck his thumb and pointer finger to the corner of his lips and whistled.

There was a booming bark as the monster dogs leapt over the heads of the fighting ghouls, skidding to a halt as Monster leaned down and grabbed Lydia's hand as Vince lifted her up to him. "Get Lydia up to the cliff so she can help Betelgeuse!"

"Can do yer gloominess! C'mon Poopsie, Giddy up!" Lydia wrapped her hands around the horn of the saddle as Poopsie and Poopette leapt back into the fray, heading towards the cliffs. Monster and Monstress howled and hooted and yee-hawed as the ends of their guns flashed and banged and small explosions hit the groups of enemies at the dogs' feet.

Lydia adjust her grip, squeezing the saddle with her thighs as she lifted her right hand and gestured to the shadows that were slowly creeping up Poopette's front leg. "Brûlez!" The shadow screeched and fell to the ground as it erupted in green flame.

Monster howled with delight, smacking her on the shoulder as she re-exorcised another group. "Lookie there Miss Lydia!" He yelled over the noise below. Lydia lifted her head, grimacing as they neared the cliff. "Poopsie and I're gonna get ya right up, and throw ya up onto the cliffs. Get ready ta jump!"

Lydia nodded, and using Monster's arm as leverage stood in the saddle. She crawled onto Poopsie's head as he dipped it to snap at a group of shadows outnumbering their soldiers, freeing the creatures to attack a line of Lost Souls.

Lydia stood, holding onto the monster dog's horns as he leapt into the air, jerking his head up to give her a boost as she leapt into the air and dive-rolled for the cliff.

"G'luck Lydia!"

Lydia hit the ground right shoulder first as she tucked and rolled like she'd been shown, and leapt to her feet, dagger drawn.

Ahriman's foot smashed into Betel's gut as he brought his sword down towards Nick's throat. The god spun and stabbed downward, impaling the stone as Nick rolled away.

Lydia watched, horrified as both men turned on Betel , Nick swinging low, Ahriman high.

"NO!" Lydia ploughed into Ahriman's side, knocking him away from the fight as Nick stumbled and Betel knocked his sword away.

"Lydia!" "Lydia!"

Ahriman snarled, bashing the butt of his sword against Lydia's helmet and tossing her to the ground as her grip on him weakened. "How dare you touch me, you necrowhore!"

Lydia crumpled to the ground as fresh blood invaded her vision, yanking the strap loose on the dented helmet as the metal dug into her temple. She squeaked as a foot found her ribs, but her sound of pain was lost in the howls of rage of her poltergeists leapt over her and attacked the god.

Lydia groaned, holding her hand to her head as the crack from the impact matted her hair. Lydia pushed herself up, snarling as she wiped the blood from her eyes.

Nick was sent flying as Ahriman blasted him with energy before the god turned and plunged his sword through Betel's heart.

Lydia froze, stumbling to a halt as Betel's eyes widened in shock, scratching at his chest as Ahriman twisted the blade.

Ahriman grinned, reaching out to grab a fistful of Betel's hair as he twisted the blade once more. "Tobias' power is _mine!"_

Lydia felt her breath catch in her chest as she watched Betel's face contort in pain.

That was when she saw the flash of metal, and the fountain of red.

* * *

**Cliffhanger cliffhanger Muwhahaha!**

**Necrowhore. =D.**

**Totally just randomly that popped into my head yesterday, and I had to use it.**

**I mean… that would be another great username, just as a conversation starter I guess, or like a… pornstar supervillain or something…**

***horrified face* Only two reviews?!?! Damn!**

**Hey, I'm going to a movie tonight, but like I said, I have all but the last chapter written. So if I get a reasonable amount of hits, maybe a few reviews I'll see if I can upload either before or during the movie (gotta love iPods).**

**BlackRose-FlowerofDeath: **Not over yet. Keep reading! ;D Looks like two more chapters to go!

**Prats 'R' Us: **Oh em gee… don't even mention that show. I was so freaking into that during like, maybe the first two seasons and then he turns into like… the devil's son or whatever, and everything was about killing psychic children and making armies and drinking blood and it just took all the fun out of demon hunting. Whatever I guess, still a pretty good show. Anyway… You shall just have to keep reading yo. Almost there! *cowers* Well let's just say I hope I did the ending justice… I think I like this one a little more, because it was fun to put my own actual spin on their history and everything.


	27. Not Over Yet

**Whoot! Battle battle battle battle battle battle! Love action, too bad I suck at writing it! ;P**

* * *

Lydia gasped as Ahriman reeled back, cradling his mutilated arms against his chest as what Nick had lopped off fell to the ground in a bloody heap.

Nick's face was wild, twisted with delight, wiping Ahriman's blood from his face as the god howled in agony once more, dropping to his knees.

Nick didn't seem to notice. His attention was on the poltergeist, panting as he tried to pull the sword from his chest.

Nick lifted a foot and kicked Betel's hands away. "Looks like you lost, vermin."

Nick's hand reached down, and his claws sunk into Betel's eye socket.

"NICK NO!"

The ghost paused, his claws still in the poltergeist's eye as Betel howled, trying to dislodge Nick's hand.

Nick's face brightened when he saw the Goth running towards him, and nearly straightened. "Lydia!" Lydia latched onto his hand, trying to pull it away as he lifted his free one and stroked her hair.

"Nick! Nick stop, let him go now! Stop this!"

Nick frowned, running his hands through the dark locks. "What did you do to your hair?! You cut your hair…"

Lydia screeched in frustration, spinning around to punch Nick as hard as she could, trying to stop the tears mixing with the blood on her cheeks. "Nick you bastard! LET HIM GO NOW!"

Nick's eyes narrowed, but suddenly there were two hands in her hair, pulling her face closer to his.

Lydia struggled, beating her fists against his chest as his lips forced hers open, and his tongue invaded her mouth, sliding against hers, tasting every inch he could reach as he tried to convince her to respond.

Lydia snarled, biting down on his tongue as hard as she could at the same time her knee came up between his legs.

Ahriman bit his lip, pushing himself up using only his legs as he cradled his arms against his chest. He threw his head back as Nick yelped in pain. "Eris!"

Lydia dropped to her knees beside Betel, tugging his hand away from his chest as he groaned. "Stop, stop! Here-" Lydia wrapped her hand around the blade, ignoring the painful bite of the edge as it cut into her skin. She twisted the blade back into place, gripping his shoulder with her free hand as Betel lurched forward, grunting from the pain. "Sorry, sorry! Almost got i-"

Betel yelped, wrapping his arms around her and dragging her out of the way as sparks exploded over them.

Nick snarled, throwing all of his weight into the blade as he slid it up Eris', pushing it away from Lydia and Betelgeuse.

"Eris."

The succubus hissed, pulling her blade away and swinging it up from the ground, aiming for his side.

Nick batted the blade away with his own and brought it back with a wide arc, swinging for her hip.

He pushed her back with another swing, forcing her to dance quickly out of the way as he lunged forward.

Lydia watched, shocked as Nick parried and retaliated, showering the ground in sparks as his face continued to curl into an even crueler snarl.

"Lyds…"

Lydia's eyes widened and she turned back to Betel, easing the blade from the wound. "Almost… there!" Betel shuddered as the tip of the blade emerged from the wound, but planted a hand on her shoulder and used her as leverage to push himself up and stumble towards the battle. "Beej wa-"

"Lydia." Betel spun towards her, his eyes flashing as he grabbed her shoulders. "Go." Lydia shook her head, her expression horrified. Betel growled, shaking her. "You swore. Go. Get the hell out of here!"

Lydia took a step back, dropping her eyes as he turned and leapt into the shower of sparks, blocking Eris as she swept at Nick's head. She took another step back as Nick took advantage of Betel's distraction and brought his sword down over Eris' head.

Lydia made to turn when the scrape of metal across stone cut through her.

From the corner of her eye she watched Ahriman lift the sword, oily black clouds billowing from his bloody arms as he staggered towards Betelgeuse.

Before Lydia could think, she was in front of the blade point, her back to Betel.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as the blade shot towards her stomach: Nick and Betel turning, Eris' foot connecting with Nick's stomach-

The blade connected with the bloody red wall of energy, shattering into hundreds of jagged shards and sparks as Nick flew across the cliff, smashing back-first into the wall as Betel plunged his sword into Eris' stomach before he spun and wrapped his arms around Lydia, flashing them to the other side of the cliff next to Nick as the energy died.

The group was silent, staring wide-eyed at Lydia as she cradled her stomach.

"Wh…what?"

Lydia stared up at Betel, her eyes wide. "I… I guess the baby likes her mommy alive…"

* * *

Jacques kicked the Lost Soul away, staggering towards the pink heap twenty feet in front of him.

He'd lost track of what was happening, wrapped up as he was in the shivering pink-clad body.

He dropped to his knees beside her, shoving away Anansi's legs as he gathered Ginger into his arms, and pushed himself back up. "'Old on, mon amour." The skeleton grunted, throwing the unconscious spider over his shoulder as he set off to the edge of the battle, leaping over body after body as he looked down to see the puncture wounds all over her neck. "Stay with me mon amour, stay with me."

* * *

Vince's gaze flashed to the cliff as the burning red energy burst against the darkening sky.

"Who…?" Something entered his peripheral vision and Vince spun in time to lop of the head of another Lost Soul.

They were so close… they may actually have a chance…

* * *

Betel blinked. And shook his head, and blinked again. "What?"

Lydia swallowed, avoiding both men's gaze as they stared at her, horrified. "Yeah… I… thought maybe wartime was a bad time to tell you but… I'm… sort of pregnant…"

Nick snarled, smashing his fist against the stone. "No! Damn you Betelgeuse!" He roared as the stone crumbled beneath his hand.

Betel was frozen, his hands still clamped around Lydia as he stared down at her. "You…"

Ahriman broke through their silence with a mad cackle as Eris helped him up, panting as her face twisted in pain from the wound in her abdomen. Ahriman's eyes were wild as he stared at Lydia's stomach. "Pure ore. Tobias' power rests in that child twice over!" His maniacal grin shifted first to Betel's face as his hand slid protectively across Lydia's stomach, and then to the Goth's face. "I guess Maui really will get to have a go at you, sooner than he imagined."

Lydia made a mocking sound and face, gesturing with her hand towards the battlefield. "He already 'had a go'." Nick and Betel growled, but Lydia lifted her hand, miming a gun and pointing it at Ahriman. "Bang bang went the wanna-be god."

Ahriman and Eris gasped, their eyes wide as Lydia nodded. Ahriman snarled and took a menacing step towards them. "You lying scag!"

Lydia smirked, extracting herself from Betel's arm as she lifted her right hand and adjusted the bracelet on her wrist. "No. I didn't even expect the spell to work. I sorta made it up on the spot. But he's in hell right now." Lydia's smile vanished as she bent to retrieve her dagger. "And soon you'll be back down there with him."

Ahriman cackled, shaking his head. "I'm going to kill you Lydia Deetz. I'm going to cut you down into tiny pieces and feed you to the Fountain of Souls. And then when I find your soul I will show you a whole new meaning to the word 'torture'."

Lydia smiled brightly, opening her arms wide as though inviting him in for a hug. "Come and get me uncey Ahriman. Come kill off the last of your auntie Dieya's blood."

Ahriman howled, throwing himself forward but before he could even lift his sword he was surrounded by what remained of his 'family'.

Set wrapped his cobra-sized arms around his leader, lifting him into the air as Eris pointed a threatening finger to the bruised and bloodied trio. "We'll be back for you, and when we return, you will pay."

Eris snapped her fingers, and the group disappeared.

Lydia sighed. "How anti-climactic, you stupid cowards." She spat.

"Look!" Lydia turned, following Nick's hand as he pointed down into the battle below. She rushed to the edge, leaning over as the shadows began to melt into the blood-soaked ground.

Still the Lost Souls remained.

Lydia turned to the man that used to be her first human love, clutching her hands in the lapels of his suit. "Nick, Nick you have to stop this, send them back. You lied to them!" She told him as he turned his head to stare coolly down at her.

There was a snort behind them as Betel finally snapped himself from his daze and lifted his sword, pointing it at Nick. "Move Lydia."

Lydia shook her head, stepping between them. "Beej stop this."

Hands gripped her shoulders, shoving her aside as Nick stepped forward, yanking Lydia's dagger from her hand. "You got her pregnant. That's not even supposed to be possible you _MONSTER! _You _freak!"_

Lydia jumped forward, pushing a hand against both of their chests as she tried to push them apart. "Stop this! Just stop! _Please listen to me!"_

Betel hooked his fingers into the edge of her armor, dragging her out of the way as he stepped forward, pressing the tip of his blade into Nick's stomach. "I didn't even fuckin' know. I don't know how it happened, but better it happen with me than you. Look what ya've done ta her!" Betel roared.

"Arrêter!"

Both men shuddered as their joints froze, leaving only their eyes free to move.

Lydia sighed, pulling Beej's frozen body back enough for her to slip between them to stare up at Nick. "Nick, look at what you've done. You entered an evil alliance with seven sick monsters deluded into thinking they were gods. When you slipped away from them after everything you did, and you had Loki in your grasps, you dug out his eyes, and went on a murder spree in order to gain power to kidnap me and kill Betelgeuse."

Nick tried to move his mouth, to protest, but Lydia shook her head. "You know I'm telling you the truth. Look at you Nick. Look at what you brought on my friends and their world." Lydia sighed, slipping her arms around his waist and pressing her cheek to his shoulder. "When I let you go, you have to send the souls back. You have to stop this. Please. If you really love me," Lydia pulled back, staring up into his heartbroken eyes. "You'll let me go, and you'll move on. Please Nick." She stepped away from him, avoiding the look of hurt in his eyes. "Libération."

Nick and Betel stumbled, gasping as the mobility returned to their limbs.

Betel snarled, stepping forward but Lydia put a hand on his chest. "Stop Betelgeuse. Nick?"

The ghoul closed his eyes, turning his head as a slow wind kicked up from the side of the cliff.

Suddenly cheers erupted below them, and Lydia and Betel moved to the edge to see the pale green specters melting back into thin air.

"Nick! You did-"

Lydia turned, but Nick was nowhere to be found.

* * *

**Ahh there it is. Shorter than the last one but still long-ish I guess.**

**I tried to really do like a bombshell thing to Beej. Like…**

**Woah. Slap in the face much?**

…

…

**Is it even a smidge good? If it's not, and enough people review or PM telling me what a stupid way to reveal it, I will delete the chapter and re-write it.**

**Deal?**

**Prats 'R' Us: **No, I watch it. Just not very faithfully. Ah… See, I'm more turned on by Robert Downey Jr. Except when he plays Iron Man. Sorry, but I never liked that movie much. Anyway… Glad you enjoyed, hope this one is good too. Ahh! I apologize for keeping you up! And I did. We went to see How To Train Your Dragon. So freaking epic.

**Ceysna: **I apologize for the longer wait than I had planned. I do hope this makes up for it. I just really suck at action scenes.

**BolivianKitty: **That's just the way I roll, I enjoy making you beg. No, no I'm just kidding. But I love a good cliffhanger in the books I read. I like being kept on the edge of my seat. Anyway… Wow, glad you enjoy so much! I'll be sure to hurry up and start the next installment soon, hope you stick around for it. Lol, I wouldn't know about best and well-written, but thank you, I try. And I don't know about her baby. ;P. You'll have to stick around and see. Lol, thanks, and I'm very glad you are enjoying yourself.

**BlackRose-FlowerofDeath:** No! Don't cry! -hands tissue- And I was thinking of drawing some, and then begging for better fanart around Deviantart and my profile, as I'm not actually that great of a drawer…

**Kur7Kagnluv: **I can, and I did! But lol, here is the chapter, and I sincerely hope I did it justice. I told ya babes, I loves me some cliffhangin'!

**RaversAnthem: **You can totally use that. I'm not claiming any rights. I just imagined that some jerk-hole that found out about their lovin' if either universe actually had some lovin' would say that to her. Thanks, I tried to imagine how they would end up fighting in a medieval style battle, and I was a little worried. And I had to find someone to match Anansi, who actually came around when I imagined Ginger as a human. It's how I picked that god. Anyway... OMG YOU SAW KICK-ASS YOU LUCKY SOB! Oh my god, I can't wait to go see that. Freaking epic. Was it better than Zombieland? And where the hell is the next update to your story?! ;P. Just kidding, but really. ;D.


	28. You And Me Babes

Lydia, her head wrapped in gauze with a thick strip of it running down the wound on her face, had decided the cliff that she had spent last night on with Betelgeuse was an appropriate place to wait for him. Surely he would look here.

She had to get away. Poopsie had a broken leg, and had to be subdued before Monster could return him to his normal size. Ginger was still being worked on, and Jacques had to be led away to be calmed down. Adam was still unconscious and Barbara would end up with a thick scar down her side. Juno had lost an eye.

The army had suffered, and the fatalities were still being counted.

Lydia sniffed, pulling her legs up to her chest and resting her forehead against them as she held back the waterworks.

But when a heavy arm slid around her shoulders and another hooked under her knees, pulling her into his lap, the floodgates burst.

Lydia wailed against Betel's chest, curling into him as his hand stroked from her head to her lower back. He pressed his lips first to the wound on her temple before he traced his way from her hairline to her chin, murmuring quiet, soothing words.

It was a long time before she could choke down much needed oxygen. "S-s-sorry…" She rasped.

Betel shook his head, tightening his grip on her. "S'alright Lyds." Lydia sniffled, leaning back to look up at him with such a pathetic expression the poltergeist couldn't help but chuckle. "C'mon Babes, don't worry so much. Everyone's gonna be fine-"

"I should've told you."

Betel blinked, before his lips twisted up in a pained grimace and he looked away from her. "Yeah…"

Lydia stared up at him, horrified. "Beej… Beej don't make me get rid of it…"

Betel's eyes widened in shock, and he turned his head so fast Lydia could hear it pop. "What? Why the hell would I do that?"

Lydia stared up at him, confused. "Juno wants to… and you said having a baby would be a misfortune."

Betel sighed, moving the arm that was under her knees to press his hand against her stomach. "I never shoulda said that. Shoulda realized somethin' was up." He frowned, tilting his head to the side as he moved his hand. "But… I never thought…"

Lydia placed her hand over his, dropping her cheek back to his shoulder. "It's not possible. For a normal breather I guess. When I had my vision of Marie, she told me… told me that I was only able to carry the baby because of Tobias' power or something… Juno said our powers mixed, and that's what the baby is."

Betel smacked his palm against his forehead, groaning. "Now I get that pure ore thing! Agh!" Betel snarled as he lowered his hand back to her stomach. "Sick fucker…"

"So… So you… want the baby?"

Betel grimaced, rubbing his hand in slow circles against her stomach. "I… It's a lot ta take in Lyds… I mean… this thing might ki-… hurt ya. It could be a real monster…"

Lydia's hand latched around his wrist, and his eyes flashed to hers as she glared up at him. "I want this baby Beej." Her face softened, and she let go of his wrist to cup his cheek. "I want your baby."

Betel flashed her that cocky leer she had grown to love, and turned his head to kiss her palm. "Fuck that's weird, ya know? Our baby… whacky. Hey why can't I feel it yet?"

Lydia's smile was practically glowing as she put her hand over his again. "I'm not that far in Beej. It takes two or three months I think."

Betel grimaced. "That blows. I gotta wait that long?"

Lydia giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a quick kiss. "Hey so do I. And I'm the one that has to carry the thing around for eight more months."

Betel blinked. "Eight?"

"Well… eight months, two days." She leaned up to kiss the end of his nose, smiling. "I'll be exactly four weeks gone this Friday."

"Hey…" Betel frowned, scratching his chin. "On the cliff ya said 'her'. How ya know what it is yet?"

Lydia shrugged. "Oh… um. Those subconscious shielding spells I wrote are crap I guess." Lydia told him. "I don't know, I've been having… visions of a little girl that looks like you…"

Betel frowned, and suddenly his hand slid beneath her shirt, pressing against her bare skin in an attempt to feel the baby.

"I'm telling you Beej, you won't feel her."

Betel chuckled, shaking his head. "Fucking wild Babes…"

"Yeah… so…" Lydia snuggled closer, biting her lip as she stared out across the camp. "What are we going to do? I'm only going to get more and more pregnant, and seven… wait no… six-"

"Five."

"Huh?"

Betel blinked, leaning back slightly as he looked down at her. "Oh… ya didn't know? That's why Ginger is still all fucked up. I asked her ta fight Anansi, 'cause she's pretty much exactly like him." Betel shrugged. "The ones that take a insect form sometimes have like a hive-mind thing goin'. I thought if Ginger took him on, she could figure out alla his moves, and use her power ta take him down. Anyway, he got a few good bites in on her, but he's _dead _dead, and she ain't."

"Oh…"

"You were sayin'?"

Lydia blinked, shifting in his lap again. "Oh, I was asking what we're going to do about… them. I mean… Fuck Beej… we barely survived this and they only ran off because you and Nick were… sort of working together and kicked both Ahriman's and Eris' asses… And I'm, _pregnant!_ I'm going to be having a _baby_ that has never before even been considered."

Betel sighed, lifting his hand to cup her chin. He forced her to look up at him before he lowered his lips to hers. "Babes… whatever happens… you and me… and this baby-" His hand dropped from her chin to her stomach. "We're gonna get through it, like we always seem ta do. Ya trust me?"

Lydia's anxiety melted a little. "I do. Oh… yeah… That reminds me." She finished with a teasing smile.

"What?"

Lydia smile grew as she lifted her left hand and wiggled her ring finger. "This baby shouldn't be born a bastard."

* * *

**As much as you probably hate me, I firmly believe that is a good place to cut it off.**

**HEY! IF YOU GUYS DON'T LIKE THIS END I WILL DELETE IT AND RE-WRITE IT! I WILL!**

**Cuz you guys rock.**

**THAT'S THE END OF THIS PART OF THE STORY! NO WAY!**

**One more book to go in this trilogy ladies and gents.**

**IF YOU WANT IT!**

**Seriously, if people think this is the place to cut it off (however silly I may find that) I will. But I do have another episode in me, so I shall continue if it is wanted.**

**PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW TELLING ME WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE NEXT EPISODE!**

**Seriously, you guys have no idea how much inspiration I draw from you.**

**Twelve Thousand thank you's to everyone involved in this. This story would not have been possible without you.**

**To My Fav-Listers:** Life4DemiMeg, Kawaii-wasabi, Ceysna, BlackRose-FlowerofDeath, CassiopiaMM, and BolivianKitty

**To My Alerters: **Draconigeno, rubydesires, The Art of Suicide, Kur7Kagnluv, Ceysna, BlackRose-FlowerofDeath, CassiopiaMM, black mage wannabe, Crescent-Wolf13, and BolivianKitty,

**To My Reviewers: **Kawaii**-**wasabi, Z_lorea, Life4DemiMeg, SeductressofDarkness, rubydesires, The Art of Suicide, Puppets, Fem-inja, Kur7Kagnluv, Ceysna, BlackRose-FlowerofDeath, KimberlyS, CassiopiaMM, and BolivianKitty

**Same as at the end of my last story, I have another twelve thousand thanks to hand out to LoliPear and RaversAnthem, who reviewed nearly every single chapter, and offered great insight and wisdom and especially inspiration.**

**And a million gratitudes to Prats 'R' Us, who not only add me to her alert and favs lists, but reviewed EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER, often giving me ideas (probably without knowing it) or making me see what I was planning to write in a different light. Oh, and she's psychic so that right there automatically makes her great. ;P.**


	29. Author's Note

Hey, so everyone wants to see one last adventure, and I'm getting it all straightened out. I'm going to post up a quick summary of this story with a tiny preview of the next story, and I'll be posting another chapter up here once the real beginning is done.

Anyway, it's been decided that Delia's baby will be a boy in a 6 to 2 vote, and there is a new poll up concerning the baby's name. I'll definitely be using the winning name, but if the winning name and the runner-up name fit well together, then both names will be used for Baby Deetz.

SO GO VOTE! You get to pick your favorite two names, and there are like, ten choices.

ALSO! PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW TELLING ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE NEXT STORY! And I, as always, will see what I can do to work it in.


	30. Notice

HEEEEEEEEYYYYY YOOOOOUUUU GUUUUUUUYYYYYS!

Hi. How are you?

=D

Anyways, the first two chapters are up. The story is called **A Decision Must Be Made.**

ALSO!

Please please please please go vote for Delia's baby's name so I can put up the next poll, okay?

So far there are like, six tied names, which doesn't help. We need two.


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